Gu Wujiu discovered that he had grown a tail.
More precisely, it was Zhou Xiao'an.
Wherever he went, Zhou Xiao'an followed. He didn't dare get too close, always keeping a distance of seven or eight steps, like a stray cat that had been fed once—not sure whether you'd feed it again, but unable to bring itself to leave.
When Gu Wujiu stopped, Zhou Xiao'an stopped too. When Gu Wujiu turned around, Zhou Xiao'an would pretend to be looking at the sky.
The problem was, the sky here was always gray and hazy. What was there to look at?
"Why are you following me?"
Caught red-handed, Zhou Xiao'an's face flushed bright red. He stammered, "I-I wasn't following you..."
"You've been following me since the mouth of the alley."
"I... I was just going this way..."
"This alley's a dead end."
Zhou Xiao'an lowered his head, the tips of his ears red enough to drip blood.
Looking at him, Gu Wujiu suddenly felt a headache coming on. In his previous life, he'd had a few underlings too, but at least those underlings had come for the benefits. Their goals were clear, and they were easy to manage. He'd never dealt with the type who thought, You were nice to me, so now I have to follow you.
"Listen," he said, doing his best to sound impatient. "I'm not a good person. What happened yesterday was a transaction, not charity. Don't get the wrong idea."
Zhou Xiao'an raised his head and looked at him seriously.
"But... you gave me the Fasting Pill."
"That was an investment."
"An investment?"
"Yeah. If I ever need someone to run an errand, you're already right here." Gu Wujiu casually made up an excuse. "So now you owe me one Fasting Pill plus an errand fee. Got it?"
Zhou Xiao'an froze for a moment, then actually nodded. His expression was so solemn it looked like he'd just signed a deed of indenture.
"Got it. I'll pay you back."
The kid actually believed him.
"Host," the system's voice drifted up幽ly, "does this count as taking on a little underling by another name?"
"Shut up."
"The lowest-ranking disciple of the Heart-Eater Sect takes on an underling who's even lower-ranking than he is. How should I put this? Two drowning people clinging to each other and sinking even faster."
Gu Wujiu ignored it and turned to keep walking. Behind him, Zhou Xiao'an hesitated for a second before trotting after him. This time, he didn't bother pretending otherwise. He followed just five steps behind, like a little tail that had finally acknowledged its master.
Gu Wujiu sighed.
Fine. Having someone to run errands wasn't a bad thing.
He found a secluded corner and sat down with his back against a stone wall. He'd spent half an hour scouting this spot—the left side was a dead end, the alley mouth was visible on the right, and there was solid stone behind him, so no one could sneak up from the rear. His experience finding places to hole up in the urban village in his previous life worked perfectly here.
"Go crouch over there. If anyone comes, cough once," he told Zhou Xiao'an.
Zhou Xiao'an immediately crouched at the alley mouth, his expression as solemn as if he'd just accepted a quest to save the world.
Gu Wujiu closed his eyes and brought out that fragment of a cultivation method.
A yellowed phantom surfaced in his mind. He had already memorized the first few lines: "Return the qi to the dantian, focus the mind on the spirit platform. With every breath, the spiritual energy of heaven and earth comes from all directions..."
Everything after that was blurred.
"System, how the hell am I supposed to use this broken thing?"
"Simply cultivate according to the instructions on the fragment."
"Those few lines are all I've got?"
"It is a fragment."
"I don't even know where the dantian is."
"Three inches below the navel." The system paused. "The Host should be quite familiar with that location from his previous life, considering how many punches he took there."
Gu Wujiu drew a deep breath and restrained the urge to curse.
He tried following the fragment's description. He closed his eyes, focused his attention below his navel, and imagined a ball of qi there. Then he inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled—
Nothing happened.
He tried again. Inhale, focus on the dantian, circulate the breath—
Still nothing happened.
"Host, the way you look right now..." The system's voice trembled with barely suppressed laughter. "You look like a constipated person struggling in a public restroom."
"Say one more word."
"Understood. I will remain silent." The system paused. "But I would like to remind the Host of one thing—you are currently using the original body's meridians from the Heart-Eater Sect. Although this body is at the first level of Qi Condensation, its meridians were opened according to the Heart-Eater Sect's cultivation technique. You are now trying to use a completely different cultivation method to travel through those meridians. It's like driving the wrong way down a one-way street."
Gu Wujiu opened his eyes.
"You mean this cultivation method is incompatible with my body?"
"Not incompatible. It needs time to adjust. The Heart-Eater Sect's cultivation technique follows a cold, yin route, while this fragment follows a balanced and peaceful route. The two routes are fighting inside the meridians, rather like... well, like the debt collectors and debtors from your previous life running into each other in a narrow alley."
"Then what do I do?"
"Work at it slowly. Practice a little every day and let the new energy seep in bit by bit, covering over the old route." For once, the system's tone turned serious. "It should take... seven to ten days to complete the first stage of the adjustment."
"Seven to ten days?"
"With the Host's aptitude, it may take longer."
"What's wrong with my aptitude?"
"The original Gu Wujiu's spiritual root aptitude is below average, even among the inferior grade. Among the Heart-Eater Sect's three hundred outer disciples, he ranks two hundred eighty-seventh." The system paused. "In other words, only thirteen people are worse than you. Five of them are already dead."
Gu Wujiu was silent for a long time.
"So my current situation is this: lowest cultivation, worst aptitude, only two Fasting Pills left, my one and only cultivation method is half a broken sheet of paper, and it fights with my body."
"An excellent summary."
"Any other bad news?"
"Yes." The system's tone suddenly brightened, and that brightness made Gu Wujiu's back prickle. "A new quest has been triggered."
Ding—
The quest panel popped up, its crooked handwriting still looking like it had been written by an elementary schooler:
Quest: Survive the Heart-Eater Sect's end-of-month assessment. Deadline: Three days. Reward: Merit Points +20, Fragment of a Qi Condensation Cultivation Method (2/?) ×1. Note: The end-of-month assessment consists of outer disciples sparring against one another. Sparring rules—there are no rules :)
Gu Wujiu stared at that smiley face as his temple throbbed.
"End-of-month assessment?"
"At the end of every month, the Heart-Eater Sect holds an assessment for its outer disciples in the form of free-for-all combat between disciples. The victor receives additional resources. As for the losers... that depends on the severity of their injuries."
"What does 'depends on the severity of their injuries' mean?"
"It means the lightly injured lie down for three days, the seriously injured lie down for three months, and the most seriously injured don't need to lie down at all. They get buried immediately."
"You call that an assessment? That's a gladiator pit."
"It's an evil sect." The system's tone carried a hint of self-evidence. "Friendly reminder: Based on the Host's current cultivation at the first level of Qi Condensation, your probability of surviving the assessment is—"
"Don't calculate it."
"Thirty-one percent."
"I said don't calculate it!"
The system went quiet for two seconds.
"However," it said again, its tone carrying a subtle hint, "the quest requires you to 'survive,' not 'win.' The Host doesn't need to defeat anyone. He only needs to walk out of the assessment grounds alive."
Gu Wujiu froze.
Then he slowly narrowed his eyes.
Walk out alive. Not win.
The difference between those two concepts was as vast as the Pacific Ocean.
He had no chance of winning. Even fighting someone at the second level of Qi Condensation would be tough, let alone those at the third or fourth level. But walking out alive—that was another matter entirely.
In all his years on the streets in his previous life, what he had been best at was never fighting. It was running. Hiding. Finding that one gap to slip through while everyone else was trying to beat him up.
"System."
"Here."
"What are the exact rules for the assessment? How big is the venue? How many people are participating? Is there a time limit? Can you surrender partway through?"
The system was silent for a second. Its tone even carried a hint of approval.
"The questions you're asking finally sound like they came from an intelligent person."
"Cut the flattery and get to the point."
"The assessment venue is the Heart-Eater Sect's outer disciple martial arts arena, approximately three hundred paces square. All outer disciples that month participate, usually around two hundred people. The time limit is two hours. You may surrender, but whether your opponent accepts your surrender depends on their mood."
"Depends on their mood?"
"This is the Heart-Eater Sect, not a gentleman's tournament on the righteous path."
Leaning against the stone wall, Gu Wujiu tapped his knee absently with his fingers.
Two hundred people, a three-hundred-pace square, two hours. You could surrender, but there was no guarantee your opponent would accept it.
This wasn't a tournament. It was a battle royale.
But even a battle royale had ways to survive.
He closed his eyes, and his mind began racing. In his previous life, he'd once taken part in a turf war in an urban village—it was basically a few dozen punks chasing each other around and throwing punches in an abandoned construction site. He'd only had three people under him, while the largest group on the other side had more than a dozen.
He was the last one standing.
Not because he could fight, but because he hadn't directly engaged with anyone from start to finish. He'd led his three men into hiding inside a concrete pipe in a corner of the construction site. Once the fighting outside was mostly over and everyone was exhausted and injured, he came out to clean up the aftermath.
Third Brother later called it his "hyena strategy"—don't snatch the meat from the lion's mouth. Wait until the lion has eaten its fill and left, then gnaw on the bones.
Ugly, but effective.
"Zhou Xiao'an." He opened his eyes and called out.
At the alley mouth, Zhou Xiao'an immediately sprang to his feet. "Here!"
"Have you taken part in the end-of-month assessment before?"
Zhou Xiao'an's face instantly went white.
"I-I have..."
"What happened last time?"
"...I was laid up for half a month."
Looking at how terrified he was, Gu Wujiu suddenly asked, "Do you want to avoid lying down this time?"
Zhou Xiao'an's eyes widened.
"Follow me." Gu Wujiu stood up and dusted off his pants, the corner of his mouth curling into the smile he used for debt collection in his previous life. "I'll teach you a lesson: If you can't win a fight, don't fight it. If you can't win and insist on fighting anyway, that's called being stupid."
"Then what do you call it?"
"Staying alive."
In his mind, the system let out a soft laugh.
"Host, are you planning to take a burden with you into a battle royale?"
"Not a burden." Gu Wujiu replied inwardly as he headed out of the alley. "Bait."
The system was silent for three seconds.
"...Host, are you sure you're doing a good deed?"
"Staying alive is the greatest good deed."
He walked into the fog, with a thin shadow following behind him.
The end-of-month assessment was three days away.
First level of Qi Condensation, half a broken cultivation method, two Fasting Pills, and one tagalong.
This hand was even worse than the one he'd been dealt in his previous life.
But Chen Hao had never complained about a bad hand.
A bad hand wasn't scary. What was scary was not knowing how to play it.