"Raid! There's a raid!"
Yanti's piercing scream split the night. Amid the crisp laughter of a group of young people enjoying some impromptu entertainment, Yanti's voice was an alarm that killed the mood.
Yoyi had just thrown a bottle of mineral water at a blond-haired young man when Yanti approached, panting, clutching the pair of high heels that were now useless to him.
"Yi, let's scram!" Yanti grabbed Yoyi's hand without preamble and tugged urgently. "Damn, you're so slow! We'll get caught in the public-order officers' raid!"
Yoyi ran along, his hands busy holding onto the hand clacker and the breast padding in his chest. In his panic, he realized he was wearing high heels. "Hey, wait up!" Yoyi kicked off the high heels that felt like they were trapping him and immediately ran after Yanti.
"Yanti, one of my breast pads fell out!" Yoyi shouted while clutching the side of his chest that was now flat. But Yanti had already run faster, pulling away.
"That's why you need to move your ass!" Yanti shouted back, his voice already fading into the distance.
His irritation reached its peak. Yoyi no longer cared and yelled Yanti's real name. "Yanto Sumanto, wait for me!"
Yoyi ran aimlessly until he finally crashed into a tomboy girl who was leaning against her red sport bike. The girl was startled, and the hot coffee in her hand spilled all over the white T-shirt and plaid shirt she was wearing.
"Holy shit, my lips are burning!" Jo, the girl's name, rubbed her lips. "Good thing they're real. If I'd had plastic surgery, they'd be melting right now."
"Sorry, Miss. I didn't mean to," Yoyi said in a put-on baby voice. He stood behind Jo, his body trembling.
Jo turned and saw Yoyi looking like a complete mess. His crooked wig, smeared makeup, and half-flat chest sent her into hysterics. "Oh my God! A half-baked man!" She laughed so hard she had to clutch her stomach. "That... did your milk jug fall out, Bro?"
"Go ahead, Miss, laugh until morning if you want, but please help me first!" Yoyi pleaded in a soft voice. "This is your bike, right?" Without waiting for an answer, Yoyi climbed onto the red sport bike. "Come on, Miss, hurry!" He pulled Jo's hand.
Jo felt sorry for Yoyi, who looked pale with fear. "What's going on?" she asked.
"I'm being chased by public-order officers, Miss," Yoyi replied, his voice trembling. Sweat soaked his messy makeup, making him look like a bride in a horror movie.
"All right, get off first!" Jo ordered. Once Yoyi got off, Jo took the handlebars. "Come on, get back on!" Yoyi climbed aboard again, and Jo immediately floored it, speeding down the road.
"Where are we going?" Jo asked once she felt they were safe.
"Turn left at the intersection," Yoyi answered, pointing.
"Okay," Jo replied, accelerating toward the address Yoyi indicated.
When they arrived in front of the rental place, Jo saw three trans women sitting on the porch.
"Bro, are they your friends?" Jo asked Yoyi as he climbed off the bike.
"Yeah," Yoyi answered softly with a smile.
God, Yoyi's smile was incredibly sweet. If only he were a man through and through, so many women would be chasing after him.
"Bro, my advice is, you should repent. Find another job and live a normal life. Get married and have kids, maybe," Jo suggested. She looked at Yoyi's handsome face beneath the makeup. "Sorry, I'm just offering advice."
Yoyi fell silent for a moment, his smile turning bitter. "Get married?" he asked. "Who'd want to marry a tranny?" he added, his voice sounding sad.
Jo stared intently at Yoyi, then smiled sweetly. "Once you've repented, come find me. I'll marry a former tranny."
Jo floored it, speeding away and leaving Yoyi standing there in a daze. In her rearview mirror, she saw Yoyi still standing beneath the dim streetlight. A faint smile curved across her lips.
Yoyi stood silent, thinking over what the tomboy girl had said. Her words had struck a nerve. "Hey, tomboy! What's your name?" Yoyi shouted, his voice suddenly hoarse and deep—the natural voice of a man, slipping out before he realized it. He froze in place, realizing that one of the breast pads was missing from his chest.
"Yi! What are you standing around staring at?" Yanti had returned. He saw Yoyi standing alone in front of the rental place. Yanti walked over and froze beside him. "What's wrong?"
"I... I just yelled," Yoyi said quietly. He was still staring at the road where Jo had disappeared.
"Yeah, so what? You yell all the time. Come inside. You planning to stand there until dawn?" Yanti urged, tugging Yoyi's hand.
Inside, their three friends were already waiting. Maria, Amira, and Malika.
"Where the hell have you two been? You took forever! I thought the public-order officers had hauled you away," Maria said.
"Almost," Yanti replied. "Luckily, Yoyi got help from... a tomboy girl."
"A tomboy girl?" Maria asked, her brow furrowing.
"Yeah," Yanti answered, then turned toward Yoyi. "Who was she, Yi?"
Yoyi didn't answer. His mind was still drifting back to that tomboy girl, her smile, and the words that had fallen from her lips. 'Once you've repented, come find me. I'll marry a former tranny.' The words kept circling in his head, smashing against the defenses he had built over the years.
"Yi, are you even listening to me?" Malika asked, touching Yoyi's shoulder.
"Huh?" Yoyi jolted.
"What's wrong? You've been quiet this whole time. That's not like you," Malika said.
"Nothing," Yoyi answered shortly.
"He probably got raided and caught feelings," Amira teased, followed by laughter from Maria and Malika.
Yoyi only smiled bitterly. He knew that beneath his friends' jokes was a painful truth. Their world was full of laughter and teasing, but it was full of wounds too.
A world that offered an illusion of freedom, where they could laugh freely behind layers of makeup, hiding their fragility and unspoken hopes. Jo's words—"live a normal life" and "get married"—were like a bridge he had never imagined he could cross.
He stared at his reflection in the old mirror, feeling like a stranger to the figure before him. The crooked wig and smeared makeup now felt like a mask that no longer fit. Inside him, a voice whispered—a voice he had silenced long ago. Satrio's voice.
Satrio, a name that now felt like a shadow from another life, was knocking on the door of his consciousness again. 'What are you doing, Satrio?' the voice whispered. 'Is this really your path? Is this the happiness you've been looking for?'
Yoyi shook his head, trying to drive away the whispers. He turned his face aside, but Jo's words continued echoing in his mind. The sentence was like a hoe churning up his soul.
Could he really attain a "normal life"? All this time, Yoyi had believed his fate was already written. He was Yoyi, and Yoyi was a trans woman. But now, a crack had opened—a hope he had never expected.
"Is this path really my fate, or do I have to create my own fate?"