Darren didn't remember how he got out of the bar.
He didn't remember how he drove. He didn't remember which streetlights he passed, how many red lights he ran, or how many people angrily honked at him. The only thing he remembered was Arka's voice, repeating over and over in his head.
You spent seven years loving her. And you didn't even realize it yourself.
He stopped the car on the side of the road. Turned off the engine. And for the first time since he was seventeen, Darren cried.
It wasn't loud crying. It wasn't a sob that shook the world. Just tears falling slowly, one after another, soaking the steering wheel. He made no sound. He even held his breath as much as he could. As if, if he didn't make a sound, none of this would be real. As if, if he stayed quiet long enough, he could wake up and everything would go back to the way it had been last night. Before he learned the truth.
His phone vibrated again.
A message from Nora. From his fiancée. A good, loving woman who had never done anything wrong to him. The woman he was going to marry in three months.
"It's five in the morning. Where are you?" I'm worried.
Darren stared at the message for a long time. Then he typed a reply.
"Something urgent came up. I'll come home later. Sorry."
He sent the message. Then he turned off his phone.
He knew he was the worst person in the world right now.
He knew Nora didn't deserve this. He knew he didn't deserve that woman's kindness. He knew he should turn the car around, go home, hug his fiancée, and forget all of this. He should shut these feelings away, lock them up tight, and never open that door again.
But he couldn't.
All he could think about was Aurelia's face.
Aurelia's face when she was sixteen, coming to Arden's house for the first time with her hair in two pigtails, hiding behind her older brother. Aurelia's face when she graduated from high school, crying with happiness as she hugged him around the neck. Aurelia's face after her first breakup, sitting on the front porch at two in the morning without saying a word, simply letting Darren sit beside her for two hours without saying a single thing.
And then he realized. All those moments. Every moment he'd thought was nothing more than an older brother looking after his little sister. He had already been in love with her through all of them.
He hadn't fallen in love with her yesterday. He hadn't fallen in love with her last week. He had fallen in love with her slowly, one day at a time, over the course of seven full years. And he had been too stupid to realize it.
As the sun began to rise over the eastern horizon, he started the car again.
But he didn't turn toward his house. He turned in the opposite direction.
He arrived in front of Aurelia's house at six in the morning.
The porch light was already on. He knew Aurelia always woke up early. He knew she was usually making coffee in the kitchen around this time. He knew that if he pressed the doorbell now, she would open the door. She would look at him with slightly sleepy eyes and ask what was wrong.
And he could tell her everything.
He could say, I love you. He could say, I've been wrong all this time. He could say, I'm going to call off the wedding. He could say everything.
Darren sat inside the car. His hand was still resting on the ignition.
For seventeen minutes, he simply sat there. Staring at the door of that house.
And he never got out.
Because he knew. If he got out now. If he pressed that doorbell. If he said even a single word. Then everything would fall apart.
Nora would be devastated. Arden would hate him forever. Their twelve-year friendship would be gone. The entire life he'd worked so hard to build would shatter into pieces.
And worst of all, even after everything fell apart, he wasn't sure he could make Aurelia happy.
He wasn't a good man. He wasn't the man she deserved. He was a coward who had only realized his own feelings after pledging himself to another woman. He was a man who would hurt everyone who cared about him.
The front door opened.
Aurelia stepped outside, carrying a trash bag. She was wearing a loose T-shirt, and her hair was still messy. She gave a small yawn. And for a moment, she looked toward Darren's car.
Darren froze.
But Aurelia didn't see him. She simply threw out the trash, rubbed her hands together against the cold, then turned and went back inside. She closed the door.
And when that door closed, Darren knew what he had decided.
He started the car. Turned it around. And drove away.
He wouldn't say anything.
He would marry Nora. He would be a good husband. He would remain a good older brother to Aurelia. He would watch her fall in love, watch her get married, watch her be happy. And he would keep all these feelings to himself. Until he died.
It was the right choice.
It was the only choice that wouldn't hurt everyone.
The only choice that would hurt him alone.
On the drive home, it began to rain.
Water streaked down the windows. And for the first time in his life, Darren understood. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do isn't confessing your feelings.
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stay silent. And walk away.
And let the person you love live without you.