My mind went completely numb. How could I make such a huge decision in a matter of seconds? Five hundred million, and a job I had no idea how long I would have to keep doing.
For quite some time, I sat there stunned, torn over an offer that was both incredibly tempting and terrifying. As far as I was concerned, there was no problem with staying and working in this house. But what about Bima? And what about this marriage of ours, which was still left hanging in limbo?
"Well?" His baritone voice rang out again, demanding an answer I still couldn't bring myself to give.
"Could you ... give me some time, Master?"
"Tonight," he replied curtly before getting up from the sofa and walking off somewhere, leaving me alone with all the thoughts churning inside me.
I went back to the kitchen and approached Auntie Sum, who had nearly finished cooking lunch. The middle-aged woman's hands were still deftly stirring the contents of the pan, though every now and then she glanced at me, looking so listless.
"What's wrong, dear? Why do you look so out of it?" she asked as she came over to me.
"Master said he'd give me five hundred million, Auntie, as long as I worked here until all my debts were paid off."
"Well, that's great, dear! Take it!" She actually looked delighted, her eyes sparkling as if she were the one receiving the news instead of me.
"Jeez, Auntie, why are you so happy?" I pouted, a little annoyed but unable to hold back a smile at Auntie Sum's enthusiasm.
"Of course I'm happy. I'll have a female friend to talk to every day." Auntie Sum chuckled, then grew serious again. "But what about your husband?"
That question left me silent. "That's what's confusing me, Auntie."
"Forget it. The important thing is to pay off your debts first. Your husband doesn't have a sense of responsibility, so why are you still worrying about him?" Auntie Sum shook her head. "You're such a simp, aren't you?"
"What are you talking about, Auntie? Buncis? You act like you even understand what simp means." We both burst out laughing, easing some of the unease that had weighed on my mind since earlier that afternoon.
It was true—working for Master Arya felt so different. All my needs were taken care of, the atmosphere in the house was peaceful, and there was none of the yelling or cursing I was used to receiving every day at my old home. Still, for some reason, making this decision felt incredibly difficult.
All day long, my mind was filled with considerations that never seemed to end. Perhaps accepting Master Arya's offer was the best path for me right now. At the very least, one major responsibility weighing on my shoulders could be settled soon.
But how was Bima doing now? He had once said that he would end his life if I left him. So how was he doing now, after I had been gone for several days without a word?
And if I really accepted the money from Master Arya, would my work here remain the same as usual? Or would there be something else I would have to face in the future?
I didn't know. There were too many questions tangled together, without a single definite answer.
I decided to perform ablution, then spread a small prayer mat in the corner of my room, the most comforting place to lay all my worries before God. Even though no clear answer had been written out for me, at least my heart felt a little more at peace afterward.
That was all I could do for now. Surrender, and trust that whatever decision I made would hopefully be the best one.
"Auntie, why haven't you been calling Ayu to help with the cooking like you usually do?" I asked when I found Auntie Sum alone in the kitchen that afternoon.
She merely looked away and let out a long sigh. "I know you're feeling restless. So I figured I'd leave you alone."
I frowned. Good grief, Auntie Sum—where had she even learned a term like that? "What does 'restless' mean, Auntie?"
"Restless, heartsick, miserable," she answered confidently, making both of us giggle.
"Come on, dear. Take Master Arya's offer. In God's name. Instead of staying confused forever, it's better to choose the easiest path. It's not against our religion. He's just giving you your salary upfront, and it'll also cover your debts." I had nothing left to say in response to Auntie Sum's advice. She had a point. This might be the only viable way out for me right now.
The clock had already struck seven, but there was still no sign of Master Arya returning home.
By nine, Auntie Sum had started yawning repeatedly. "Auntie, are you sleepy? Go to bed first. I'll wait for Master."
"All right, then. I'm going to bed," she said as she gently patted my shoulder, the exhaustion plain on her face.
I sat alone in the living room, staring at the wall clock as it ticked softly, keeping me company in the growing silence. Then, exactly at midnight, the sound of a car engine came from the side gate of the house.
Master Arya was like that. He never waited for anyone to open the gate for him as long as he was capable of doing it himself.
"Why are you still waiting for me?" he asked flatly when he found me standing there to open the door for him.
"Auntie said you didn't bring your house key." He said nothing, simply walked past me.
"Don't sleep beside the pool again. I don't like it. There's a bedroom, so sleep in the bedroom," he called out without turning around.
I fell silent, surprised that he had noticed something so small. Only then did I realize that beneath his cold demeanor, he was actually very considerate.
He stopped right in front of his bedroom, as if waiting for me to catch up.
"Can we talk for a minute?"
"All right, Master." My heart had been perfectly calm, but now it started racing wildly again.
"Sit," he ordered curtly.
I lowered my head, waiting for whatever he was about to say next.
"What about my offer? Have you thought it over?" He stared intently at me. "If your answer is yes, I can transfer the money tonight."
My eyes widened. At this hour, I was barely fully conscious, yet he was asking about something this important, as if he didn't want to delay it by even a second.
I was confused. But my resolve had been firm since that afternoon.
"Yes, Master. I accept." At last, the words escaped my lips. I would take the leap; whatever risks I had to bear later, I would think about them then.
Master Arya nodded once, without the slightest excess emotion. "Give me your account number."
With my hands still trembling slightly, I recited my personal account number. He quickly entered it into his phone, then stood up.
"Good night," he said before walking into his bedroom, leaving me alone in the silence, with the pounding in my chest that, for some reason, still hadn't subsided.