Long story short, Keenan and I eventually entered an undefined relationship that was nothing like a normal romance. We only went out to eat together twice. We never held hands, let alone hugged. My family’s traditions place great importance on religious values. Both my brothers were also extremely strict with me, while my father was more flexible—as long as I was honest with him.
“So Sis Nayla and Keenan weren’t like a regular couple, then?” Nisa asked.
“That’s right, Nisa. I wasn’t dating Keenan. We were just close and only chatted through WhatsApp.”
“So how long did it take before you developed feelings for Keenan, Sis?”
“After Ammar got married, I started opening my heart to Keenan, but it turned out he would leave a pretty painful wound in my heart.”
“Why, Sis? Wasn’t Ammar the one who broke your heart the most?”
“Keenan and I lost contact as if nothing had ever happened, Nisa, and suddenly we became strangers.”
“Oh, yeah, Sis. I understand how that feels. I’m going through that phase too, Sis...” she said, her face full of sadness.
“Nisa, a man who loves you won’t leave you confused about your relationship. I don’t know whether you’re dating or in an undefined relationship like I was.”
“Yeah, Sis. I’m in an undefined relationship too, just like you were.”
“So what does Nissa want to do about this relationship now? Are you ready to get married, or do you want to focus on your career first?”
“I already love him, Sis.”
“Exactly. I felt the same way. My career wasn’t even settled yet, and I hoped he would marry me, but we didn’t even share the same beliefs. How could we get married?”
“We don’t have different beliefs, Sis, but he keeps confusing me. Sometimes I hear from him, and then he suddenly disappears.”
“If you want my advice, let go of someone like that, Nisa. If you hold on any longer, you’ll only love him more, and eventually your heart will break too deeply.”
“I know, Sis, but...”
“Are you afraid of losing someone who gives you flowers or stuffed animals, or buys you food?”
“Sis, I’m not that lucky in life. Forget flowers and stuffed animals—even my own meals are something I pay for.”
“Oh my God, Nissa. Why are you just as foolish as I used to be?”
“Did you often pay for Keenan and Ammar’s meals too, Sis Nayla?”
“Keenan’s, yes. Ammar’s, never. I never even met Ammar once.”
“Sis, how can my story and your love story be so similar? The only difference is that you two had different beliefs.”
“That’s exactly why, Nisa. When Keenan stopped contacting me, I disappeared into heartbreak too. I’d already had to watch Ammar marry another woman, and then Keenan eventually left as well. But I realized Keenan really wasn’t right for me. He was never content with just one woman. I once saw him leave with another woman, and I often found myself lost and unsure of where I stood in our relationship.”
“What happened after that, Sis?”
“I cried over every bitter twist of fate in my love life. I was also someone who hadn’t received much affection from my father. Maybe that’s why I often placed too much hope in the men who came into my life, even when they weren’t good for me. I let myself feel the heartbreak, Nisa. I cried and nearly gave up until I grew tired of my circumstances. Only then did I slowly get back on my feet.”
“How did you recover from that low point, Sis?”
“Nissa, sweetheart. Life is like crossing the ocean on a little boat. Huge waves and powerful winds will come to test us, and even fierce storms will arrive and throw us into turmoil. That’s when we have to stay calm and patiently face everything. If we can make it through that bitter season, the reward will be enormous.”
“The reward is opening a boutique, right, Sis?”
“Exactly. I’d wanted that for a long time. My life used to be a mess too, Nisa. My siblings often insulted me because I didn’t have enough money to live according to the standards most people considered normal.”
“Sis...” Nissa grabbed my hand as my tears finally broke free.
“Yes, Nisa. It wasn’t only my love life that failed. My family was a complete mess back then too. My siblings and I fought all the time. They often demanded that I succeed as quickly as possible if I wanted them to acknowledge me as their sister. I was also frequently belittled, Nisa.”
“Sis... You’re actually that strong?”
“Nisa. You’re strong too, for making it through your life. How have you managed to stay strong while accepting everything?”
“Yes, Sis. It’s because my heart often reminds me that Allah created life with both joy and sorrow. That’s why I face it with steadfastness and patience.”
“You’re right, Nisa. That’s just how life is.”
“Sis, but what made you feel motivated again back then? Just name one thing.”
I told her my story.