Me.
A human being born in a room at a General Hospital. In truth, I came from the womb of an angel without wings—Mama, Mom, Mommy, Ummi, or whatever name you call her.
What matters is that she has played an enormous role in the life of every human being born into this world, second only to Allah, who destined us to be born and enjoy life in this world.
I'm twenty years old now.
They call me Raihan Dzakwan.
That's my name.
"Yeah, Ma. Yeah. I'm up."
"Astaghfirullah, waking this child up is such a struggle. I've been yelling at you forever. If you still hadn't gotten up, Mama was going to spray you with the garden hose. A whole bucket wouldn't be enough—it would only get you and the mattress wet. Might as well flood the whole room while we're at it. Then maybe you'd sleep even better. Now go, hurry up and shower and pray Fajr. Even getting up for Fajr prayer is such a struggle. If no one wakes you, you won't get up until the sun is right overhead. You wouldn't even notice an earthquake. What a stubborn child. How are you ever going to succeed in life, become someone great in this world and the afterlife, and find a spouse? You'll go through life just like this."
I only smiled as I listened to Mama's long lecture.
I quickly hugged her and held the cheeks of that angel without wings.
"Are you done, Ma? Done talking? That was way too long, you know, Mah. You really went on and on. If we multiplied it out, I wonder how many square feet your speech just covered. Even the Friday sermon loses to Mama's lecture just now."
I laughed.
"I love you, Mama. Don't worry, Ma. Everything's already been arranged. Life, sustenance, a spouse, and death—all of it has already been arranged. So just relax and live your life."
"You always have an answer for everything Mama says. There's always some comeback. Whatever. Giving you advice is so hard. You always make fun of Mama."
Mama shook her head.
"I can't stay mad at you because of that. Yes, yes. Whatever you say. Mama loves you too."
A faint smile appeared on her face.
"Enough. Go shower. Hurry up, pray, and get to work."
"Okay, Big Boss."
I chuckled.
The morning sun always disturbed my peace whenever I wanted to sleep a little longer. It was as if the sun deliberately forced me to get up and go through the same routine every day.
Fajr prayer.
Doing housework.
Showering.
Eating breakfast.
Going to work.
Coming home.
Going to college.
Then spending a little time having fun at night before finally going back to sleep.
It was always like that.
When would I ever truly feel at peace?
When would I be able to experience real peace and happiness?
Without having to pretend with this heart of mine.
Rather than keep thinking about things that made no sense, I decided to shower before that angel without wings really got angry.
Good grief.
I really couldn't handle being scolded by Mama first thing in the morning. It could ruin my entire day.
I figured I should turn on my favorite music so I could hear it while showering. That would make the shower a little more enjoyable.
After I finished showering, the aroma of Mama's cooking immediately filled the house.
I knew what she was making.
Fried rice.
Mama-style fried rice, with extra-spicy chili sauce.
Oh, well.
It was a simple breakfast menu, but to me, it was far more special than expensive food at any restaurant.
It was just Mama and me having breakfast together.
Papa had died when I was in my second year of high school. Since then, it had been just Mama and me living together.
I was also an only child.
Maybe that's why Mama worried about me so much.
Sometimes, too much.
But I knew it was all because she loved me.
While I was eating breakfast, my phone vibrated.
I looked at the screen.
A notification appeared.
It was from Nayla.
She was my only best friend.
Her full name was Nayla. Everyone called her Nayla, while I sometimes called her Nay.
I opened her message.
"Where are you? Stop by my house at seven, before you go to work, okay? There's something I need to show you. But don't think too much about it. You'll end up thinking about me instead. Hahaha. Bye."
I furrowed my brow.
Something?
What was that girl up to this time?
I sped up my eating.
My hands and mouth worked as if I were competing in a race. As soon as I finished breakfast, I stood up.
"Ma, I'm leaving for work. I'm stopping by Nayla's house first. She said there's something important."
I kissed Mama's hand.
"Okay, sweetheart. Be careful on the road. May Allah bless you and make every one of your affairs easy."
"Amen."
I picked up my motorcycle keys.
That morning, without realizing it, a short trip to Nayla's house would become the beginning of a major change in my life.
And I had no idea what was waiting for me there.