“Fine. Don’t blame me if you never find a partner and get married, okay?”
Nayla launched into another lecture.
“You’re almost twenty, you know. You need to start thinking about your future. Stop spending all your time gaming. Pretty soon, that game’s going to kill you.”
I laughed.
“See? Study and work hard. Make Mama Diana happy. Hurry up and find her a daughter-in-law, Rai.”
“Enough. Stop teasing me.”
I picked up my motorcycle keys.
“At this rate, you’re starting to sound like my mom. You’re always lecturing me about success and finding a partner.”
“That’s because I care about you.”
“That’s exactly the problem.”
She laughed.
“I’m heading to work. I’m almost late. Congratulations on your success.”
“Bye. Be careful, Rai.”
I sped away from Nayla’s house.
At 6:50 a.m. WIB, I arrived at the office.
I glanced at the clock on the wall.
I’m early, aren’t I?
Maybe it was because I’d spent too long talking to Nayla.
I still had the challenge letter in my pocket.
I pulled it out and read it again.
Just wait, Nay.
I’ll prove to you that I can be more than you think I am.
I’ll definitely have a girlfriend.
After I get married, though.
Because I don’t trust women.
They’re all the same.
At least, that was what I thought back then.
I often saw all kinds of news about cheating, violence, abuse, and relationship problems. It all made me trust relationships between men and women even less.
There was one exception, though.
Nayla.
She was different.
She was my best friend.
And secretly, she was also my first love.
I’d liked Nayla since high school.
But I’d never told her.
I was afraid.
Afraid that confessing my feelings would destroy our friendship instead.
Maybe that was why I chose to stay quiet.
To remain her friend.
Nothing more.
Never more.
I believed Allah (SWT) was the owner of divine fate. But people still had to strive to choose their own path in life.
If I wanted to change something in my life, I had to fight for it.
Not just wait.
My coworkers began arriving at the office.
The commotion snapped me out of my thoughts.
Did Nayla still like me?
Did she still have the same feelings?
I had no idea.
Whatever happened between us, that was my concern.
The same went for her.
I had no right to force her feelings.
It was better to focus on work.
I’d only been working here for two weeks. I’d chosen a part-time job because of my family’s financial situation, and because this job was also one of my hobbies.
At least the income could help ease Mama’s burden of paying my college tuition.
I wanted to succeed.
Not for myself.
For Mama.
“Hey, Rai.”
I turned around.
Rizal was standing beside me.
“You just started working here, and you’re already taking it easy. Help with everyone else’s work. Instead, you’re busy playing games.”
“I’m just bored, Mas. It’s okay to take it easy for a bit. I’ll help later.”
“You stayed up late again, didn’t you? Playing games, or do you have a lot of college assignments?”
“Something like that.”
But that wasn’t really it.
I was thinking about Nayla.
Rizal suddenly took my phone.
“Hand it over. Don’t play games right now, especially during work hours. You’ll get fired.”
I smiled.
“Okay, Mas. What’s up? There seems to be some tension in the air.”
Rizal sat down beside me.
Then he massaged my shoulders.
“Feeling better, Young Boss?”
I laughed.
“Listen, Raihan Dzakwan. Don’t let life push around this pathetic-looking young man.”
He paused for a moment.
“Make life the one that gives in to you.”
I stared at him.
“Try finding someone. I’ve never even seen you date, go on a date, or call a woman.”
I started getting suspicious.
“Are you into the same sex or something?”
“Mas!”
“Ugh, now I’m disgusted.”
“Don’t start rumors!”
I quickly cut him off.
But inside, I felt exhausted.
Oh Allah, not this again.
I was tired of hearing about women, dating, and marriage.
But I couldn’t keep avoiding the subject forever.
Rizal then smiled.
“Actually, I wanted to give you some advice.”
“What?”
“I want to introduce you to a friend of mine.”
I immediately shook my head.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I want to focus on college and work first.”
“Come on. Just meet her first. She’s pretty, single, your age, and she’s never dated.”
I fell silent.
“I’m serious, Rai.”
I let out a long sigh.
“Fine.”
Rizal smiled in satisfaction.
I didn’t even know why I’d finally agreed.
Maybe I was tired of being persuaded.
Or maybe, without realizing it, I was trying to find an answer to something I’d kept to myself all this time.