The days that followed passed more quickly.
I kept working. I kept going to college. I kept helping Mom.
But one thing had changed.
I began learning to understand myself. I wasn't as afraid of my feelings anymore. I realized that loving someone didn't mean losing my way. Love was supposed to make a person better. Not make them forget God.
I also began to understand that divine fate wasn't a reason to stop trying. Allah (SWT) determines many things in human life. But people are still given the chance to strive, choose, pray, and learn.
I wanted to become a better person. Not only for Nayla. Especially for Mom. For myself. And for a future I didn't know yet.
One afternoon, I sat with Mom on the porch. She looked at me.
"You've changed lately, huh?"
"How have I changed?"
"You're more mature."
I laughed.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
Mom smiled.
"Have you started thinking about the future?"
I was silent for a moment.
"Maybe."
"Already have someone in mind?"
I almost choked.
"Mom!"
Mom laughed.
"What? I was just asking."
I shook my head.
"Not yet."
Even though one name immediately appeared in my mind.
Nayla.
That night, I got a message from her.
"Rai, are you free tomorrow?"
I replied.
"I am. Why?"
A few seconds later, her reply came in.
"I want to talk."
My heart started pounding again.
The next day, we met in the same place as before. Nayla arrived first. I sat across from her.
"What's wrong?"
She took a long breath.
"I want to call off the challenge."
I fell silent.
"Why?"
"Because I already know who I want to choose."
I didn't say anything.
Nayla looked at me.
"I don't need to look for anyone else."
My chest felt tight.
"Nay..."
She smiled.
"I don't know if you feel the same way. But I've been comfortable with you for a long time."
I lowered my head. There were so many things I wanted to say. But in the end, only one sentence came out.
"Me too."
Nayla fell silent.
"I've liked you for a long time too."
For a few seconds, the world felt silent. There was no sound of traffic. No sound of anyone else. Only us. Two people who had hidden their feelings behind the word "friends" for years.
But I didn't want to rush things. I didn't want this relationship to become nothing more than dating that ended with us hurting each other. I wanted something better.
"I don't want our relationship to be just a game."
Nayla nodded.
"I know."
"I want us to work on ourselves together."
"Yeah."
"If Allah (SWT) allows it, once I finish college and am able to support myself, I want to approach your family properly."
Nayla's eyes filled with tears.
"Seriously?"
I nodded.
"Seriously."
She smiled.
"So you really do like me?"
I let out a quiet laugh.
"It's been three years, Nay."
"Why did you only tell me now?"
"Because I was afraid of losing you."
She fell silent. Then she smiled.
"Me too."
That day, I went home feeling different. There was no hatred for the world anymore. No desire to fight divine fate anymore. I only wanted to walk the path Allah (SWT) had given me. Slowly. With prayer. With effort. With patience.
I realized that life didn't always go the way we wanted. There was loss. There was failure. There was pain. There was waiting.
But maybe all of it really was part of the journey.
I looked at the evening sky from atop my motorcycle. The wind brushed against my face. For the first time, I felt at peace. Not because all my problems were over. But because I was beginning to accept that life was never truly perfect.
I am Raihan Dzakwan. A son still trying to make his mother happy. A college student still chasing his future. A worker still learning to be responsible. And a human being learning to love without losing God.
Nayla wasn't simply someone I wanted to possess. She was someone I wanted to fight for in the right way. If Allah (SWT) allowed us to be together someday, I wanted our relationship to be more than just a love story. I wanted to make it an act of worship.
I wanted to come to her not as a man carrying only his feelings. But as a man who was ready.
Because love alone wasn't enough. Love needed patience. Love needed sacrifice. Love needed responsibility. And most importantly, love needed Allah (SWT).
I looked at the sky as it began to darken. Then I smiled.
Wait for me, Mom. Wait for me, Nayla. And wait for me, world. I will come carrying the future I've dreamed of all this time.
Be patient. Just a little longer.
Because I believe— when patience is nurtured, our prayers grow stronger. Our connection with Allah (SWT) grows closer. Nothing is impossible for Him when it comes to giving us the most beautiful surprises.
And if someone asks me someday who the person was who made me hold on through so many things, maybe I'll simply smile and answer:
"That person is me."
Because on the journey of loving her, I ended up finding myself.