The next morning, Raka arrived at school earlier than usual. For some reason, the moment he opened his eyes, his thoughts went straight to his conversation with Sinta the night before.
Sinta's question about being afraid of losing someone still lingered clearly in his mind.
Raka didn't know why such a simple question felt so deep. He had often talked with Sinta, exchanged stories about all kinds of things, and had even started getting used to receiving messages from her every night. Even so, some part of him still hesitated to take things any further.
As he was putting his books into his desk drawer, Dimas arrived carrying a drink.
"You're here awfully early. Don't tell me you came on purpose to wait for Sinta," Dimas said as he sat in his chair.
Raka immediately looked at him.
"Why does your mind always go there?"
"Because every time there's even a tiny change in you, the reason is almost always the same."
"Have I really changed?"
Dimas nodded.
"Yeah. You used to come to school looking like someone who hadn't finished sleeping. Now you show up smiling to yourself."
Raka let out a small laugh.
"You're exaggerating."
"I'm serious."
Raka shook his head.
"You pay too much attention."
"As your friend, that's my job."
They laughed together.
Not long afterward, Sinta entered the classroom. When she saw Raka, she immediately smiled and walked over to their desks.
"Morning, Raka."
"Morning, Sin."
Dimas stood up at once.
"I'm leaving. The atmosphere here is way too full of things that make me feel like a third wheel."
Sinta laughed.
"Is Dimas always like that?"
"Always."
Dimas walked away, raising a hand.
"I heard that!"
Raka and Sinta laughed at his antics.
School activities were fairly hectic that day. All the students had started preparing for the class event that would take place in a few days. Raka helped organize the supplies, while Sinta was in charge of listing what they still needed.
Several times, they worked together without feeling awkward.
But when Raka was carrying several chairs from the storage room, he saw another student approach Sinta.
His name was Ardi, a student from the neighboring class who was known for being friendly and sociable.
"Sinta, do you still need help?"
Sinta turned around.
"Oh, Ardi. Yeah, actually, there are still a few things that haven't been moved."
"I'll help."
"Thanks."
Raka, watching from a distance, said nothing. He didn't know why his feelings had suddenly turned strange.
He wasn't angry.
He wasn't disappointed, either.
He simply felt uncomfortable in a way he couldn't explain.
When Raka returned with the supplies, Dimas happened to see his face and immediately smiled.
"What's wrong?"
"What now?"
"Are you jealous?"
Raka nearly dropped the box he was carrying.
"What?"
"It's written all over your face."
"I'm not jealous."
"All right."
Dimas nodded casually.
"But if you immediately go quiet just because you see Sinta getting close to someone else, what do you call that?"
Raka didn't answer.
Because deep down, he knew Dimas might be right.
That afternoon, after the activity ended, Raka and Sinta walked out of school together. The sky was beginning to change colors, making the school grounds look calmer than they had earlier that day.
"Are you tired?" Sinta asked.
"A little."
"You always say 'a little.'"
"Because I can still keep going."
Sinta smiled.
"You know, you often do the same thing you did yesterday."
"What?"
"You try to look like everything's fine."
Raka looked at her.
"You really pay attention to little things, don't you?"
"Maybe."
"Why?"
Sinta was silent for a moment.
"Because I care."
That answer made Raka slow his steps.
He wanted to ask more, but the words were hard to get out.
They stopped near the school gate.
"Sin."
"Yeah?"
"If one day there's someone who wants to tell you something, but he's afraid your relationship will change, what do you think he should do?"
Sinta looked thoughtful.
"I think he should be honest."
"Even if he could lose that person?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because keeping something inside for too long can make someone feel exhausted too."
Raka lowered his head.
Sinta continued.
"But he also has to be ready to accept whatever answer he gets."
Raka nodded slowly.
"I understand."
Sinta smiled.
"Are you talking about someone?"
Raka fell silent.
"Yes."
"Who?"
Raka looked at Sinta's face.
For a few seconds, he almost said it.
But the sound of a passing vehicle changed the mood slightly.
"There's someone I think is important."
Sinta gave him a small smile.
"I hope she's someone lucky."
After saying that, Sinta walked in the direction of her home.
Raka stood in front of the school gate for a moment, watching her back grow farther away.
He still hadn't told her how he felt.
But that day, he learned one important thing.
Sinta wasn't closing herself off to hearing someone's honest feelings.
That night, Raka received another message from Sinta.
"I just got home."
Raka replied.
"Tired?"
"A little. But today was fun."
"Because of the class event?"
"Because of a lot of things."
Raka smiled as he read the message.
A few minutes later, Sinta sent another message.
"Rak."
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for always helping me."
Raka stared at his phone screen.
"You're welcome."
"I'm serious."
"So am I."
Sinta sent a smiling emoji.
The conversation was simple, but it meant a great deal to Raka.
He was beginning to realize that maybe courage wasn't about saying grand words.
Sometimes courage began with something small.
With daring to show that you cared.
With daring to stay by someone's side.
And with daring to accept that not everything had to be forced to move quickly.
Before going to sleep, Raka opened the small notebook on his study desk.
There, he wrote a single sentence.
"I'll tell the truth when I'm ready."
He closed the notebook with a smile.
Because for the first time, he no longer felt afraid to face his own feelings.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, Sinta was also looking at her phone screen.
Raka's name was still open in their last conversation.
She smiled faintly, unaware that someone was gathering the courage to say something that might change their relationship.