Mira knew something was wrong when Raka stopped replying to her messages.
It wasn't because Raka was busy. It wasn't because his phone was dead, either.
Mira knew it was because a few minutes earlier, she had refused Raka's request.
Raka: Don't go out with them tonight.
Mira: I'm just having dinner with my friends.
Raka: I don't like it.
Mira: But I've had plans with them since last week.
Mira's last message was only read. After that, nothing.
Mira thought Raka would get angry like he usually did. Instead, the man chose to stay silent.
One hour.
Two hours.
Until night fell.
Mira checked her phone over and over, hoping a message would come in. Unfortunately, there was nothing.
Finally, she called him, but he didn't answer. She called again, and he still didn't answer.
“What is your problem?” Mira muttered.
The next day, Raka came to campus as usual. He even walked past Mira in the hallway without looking at her once.
Mira chased after him. “Raka.”
The man kept walking.
“Ka, wait.”
There was no response.
Mira finally grabbed his arm. “Why are you acting like this?”
Raka looked at the hand gripping his arm, then at the woman's face.
“Nothing's wrong.”
“Then why didn't you reply to my messages?”
“I didn't feel like talking.”
Mira fell silent. “Because I went out last night?”
Raka shrugged. “Whatever. You clearly chose your friends over me.”
The words made Mira feel guilty. “I only went out to eat for a little while.”
“I never told you you couldn't go.”
Mira stared at him in disbelief. “You told me not to go.”
“Saying don't doesn't mean I was forbidding you.”
Raka walked away, leaving her behind. Once again, Mira was the one who felt guilty.
That was how their relationship worked. Every time Mira did something Raka didn't like, the man would go silent.
There were no arguments, no shouting, only silence.
Raka would stop replying to her messages, refuse to answer her calls, not greet her, and even act as though Mira didn't exist.
At first, Mira felt annoyed. Over time, she became afraid.
Afraid Raka would leave, afraid he would get bored, afraid he would find someone more obedient.
Because of that, Mira began learning to avoid anything that might make Raka go silent.
She canceled plans with friends. Turned down invitations to eat.
She had even once left her best friend's birthday party early because Raka had looked unhappy when he found out Mira had gone.
“I’m going home,” she said that night.
“Why?”
Mira only smiled. “It’s nothing.”
She didn't want to explain that someone was punishing her without saying a word.
A few months later, Mira hardly had a life outside the relationship.
Then one afternoon, her best friend, Tia, asked, “Are you happy?”
Mira opened her mouth, but didn't answer right away.
The simple question felt strangely heavy. “I... love him.”
“I didn't ask whether you love him or not.”
Mira fell silent.
“I asked whether you're happy or not.”
For the first time, Mira couldn't find an answer.
That night, she went to see Raka. “I want to talk.”
Raka was still busy playing on his phone. “Go ahead.”
“When you're angry, don't give me the silent treatment for days.”
Raka stopped moving. “I'm not punishing you.”
“But I feel like I'm being punished.”
“Then you're being too sensitive.”
Mira drew a long breath. “Every time I do something you don't like, you disappear until I apologize. Even when I haven't done anything wrong.”
“Because you know what you did.”
Mira stared at him for a long moment, then realized it. All this time, Raka hadn't needed to yell to control her.
All he had to do was make Mira afraid of losing him.
“I’m tired,” Mira said.
Raka finally looked at her. “Do you want to break up?”
Mira nodded. “I think I do.”
For the first time, Raka said nothing.
He didn't persuade her, apologize, or try to stop her. He only stayed silent.
Usually, that silence would make Mira panic. Not this time. Mira stood and picked up her bag.
She walked toward the door without looking back. It turned out the silence she had feared most all this time wasn't the end of her life.
Instead, it was where Mira could finally hear her own voice.
The voice that had been drowned out all this time because she was too busy apologizing for mistakes that weren't even hers.