Hi, my name is Lia, I’m twenty-five years old, and I have an aversion to love. Yeah, I’ve been like this since I was little. Love has never worked out for me. Ugh, don’t believe me? I’ll tell you!
When I was in kindergarten, there was a boy who was really close to me. It was so much fun playing with him. We did everything together; he was my best friend at school. Then, one day, he kissed my cheek, and almost instinctively, I punched him in the nose. The boy’s nose started bleeding, and he never looked at me again. Seriously!
In first grade, there was this boy. He was gorgeous. All the girls at school wanted to be his girlfriends. Even though we were so young, the boy had a girlfriend named Flávia, and she had a friend named Bruna, who was a total brute and twice my size.
The boy had never spoken to me, and one day, I forgot my notebook at home. So, I guess out of kindness, he tore a few pages from his notebook and made me a whole notebook decorated with hearts.
That day, Bruna kicked and threatened me all the way home, and my notebook was ripped to shreds. The next day, he tried to talk to me, but I didn’t even look at his face. I know he was being nice and all, but my butt wasn’t going to survive another walk home being kicked around like a ball!
For several years, I ran from love. It only brought me trouble. But in fifth grade, I really thought I liked a boy. He was gorgeous. My heart raced whenever I saw him. My friends encouraged me and said:
“Talk to him!”
So I gathered my courage, wrote him a little note, and he agreed to talk to me.
That was when my friend Rodrigo said:
“Are you sure about this? Everyone says he doesn’t brush his teeth and has horribly bad breath!”
Great... Now what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t get it out of my head. But I’d already arranged to talk to the boy. What if it was true? What if he really didn’t brush his teeth and his mouth smelled awful? I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Oh my God!
Then class ended, the bell rang, and he looked at me and smiled. He gathered his things, put his backpack on, and headed out ahead of me. I tried to walk as slowly as possible. It felt horrible. It was like I was walking to my execution.
When I caught up with him, he started talking to me. Right away, I noticed an unpleasant smell. I wanted to run, but before I knew it, he grabbed my hand, pulled me close, and kissed me.
I felt so nauseated that I vomited into the boy’s mouth.
After that day, they called me “vomit-kiss” until the end of the year.