All because of a one-second hello, her whole move-on journey went down the drain.
That was the tragic story of Clemira, a girl who still hadn't moved on from her messy teenage love story from ten years ago.
Galang, the prime suspect from Clemira's past—aka her ex—already had kids. He was even married, and his second child was five years old.
Suddenly, that love from the past came back—not as a lover or an ex asking to get back together, but as a nosy neighbor who made Clemira decide to get married as soon as possible to avoid those “yes, they’re a thing” rumors.
“Clemira! Oh, come on, you're spacing out again,” Arion called.
Clemira jolted, then let out a harsh sigh. She looked at Arion awkwardly. This was the umpteenth time she'd drifted off after more than half an hour of stalking her ex's account.
“Out with me, but your mind's with him! I guess I’m doomed to like you while you see me as nothing but a friend,” Arion complained.
He even tapped his helmet repeatedly, bored out of his mind watching Clemira space out yet again.
“What are you thinking about, Cle? Your debt?”
“Hmm, no! I was just thinking that my ex's kid is already five.”
“So? Hello, Clemira Lily Rahajeng, the most gorgeous woman on Mars. In this day and age, you're still thinking about your ex and his wife and kids? You haven't been hit by some kind of bad spell, have you? Is that why you're acting so weird? You didn't just run into your ex and suddenly fail to move on, did you?” Arion kept raising and lowering his eyebrows, trying to catch an expression from Clemira, who merely sat there sighing.
“Seeing him commenting back and forth with my old friends suddenly made my chest feel tight, Ar! My mood took a nosedive out of nowhere. It crashed because I kept wondering if he remembered me. If he remembered the girl who used to be so crazy about him. Or…”
“Are you insane?”
“I really am thinking about it, Ar! He still shows up in my dreams all the time,” Clemira admitted, successfully leaving Arion speechless.
“Move on, Cle. He has a kid now. What does that mean? You don't mean anything in his life, not even as a brief memory,” Arion stressed.
“Get on. We're leaving now!” he said again, making Clemira slowly climb onto Arion's big bike. She gripped the edge of his jacket, trying not to wrap her arms around him.
“Hold on, or you'll fall and I'll be the one dealing with it,” Arion scolded.
Arion sped up, leaving Clemira no choice but to wrap her arms around her friend's waist.
Just friends. Maybe Clemira was taking it too far by seeing Arion as nothing more than a friend, even though that man was an all-purpose fixture in her life.
She could take him to a wedding reception, drag him into a drama whenever she ran into her ex, go out with him, watch movies, eat, karaoke, hang out, have him drive her to and from work, connect her gas cylinder, fix her wiring, listen to her vent, use him as a walking ATM, and plenty more.
“Mom said you’re turning twenty-nine this year, Cle!”
“Mom said that? I still feel twenty-two,” Clemira replied.
“You said you broke up with Galang ten years ago. There’s no way you were dating him at eleven,” Arion sneered.
Clemira stayed quiet, letting Arion complain the entire way.
Arion drove until they reached one of their favorite chicken-noodle stalls, and they got off.
“Don’t bring up Galang again. Besides, you don’t know him. You don’t know what he’s like!”
“Oh…” Arion simply nodded. It was true—he didn't know Galang at all. The ex who had kept Clemira from moving on and left her single for years.
They stayed silent until they chose a low table in the farthest corner. Arion waved to the chicken-noodle vendor.
“Two chicken noodles, please. One without scallions,” he said, making Clemira smile faintly.
Arion always knew the little things about her, even something as simple as the scallions Clemira had never liked in her chicken noodles.
“What would you like to drink?” the vendor asked.
Arion glanced at Clemira, hoping she'd say what she wanted to order. Instead, the girl was busy looking at her phone, as if leaving Arion to decide for himself.
Clemira always trusted Arion to know her tastes.
“What do you want to drink, Cle?”
Clemira looked up and frowned.
“Iced orange juice. Just order the usual.”
“Two iced orange juices,” Arion told the vendor. He sighed. He already knew what Clemira always ordered. Still, maybe after this, Arion would put a little distance between them.
“Would you ever consider me, Cle? Marrying me, for example,” Arion said softly.
“I don’t want our relationship to change, Ar.”
“Don’t you want it to change, or are you afraid you’d just use me as a rebound? Afraid we wouldn’t be able to be friends anymore if we broke up?”
Clemira fell silent. Two bowls of chicken noodles arrived on the table along with the tempting iced orange juice. Clemira swallowed, unwilling to answer Arion, and chose instead to slide over her own bowl, which was clearly the one without raw scallions.
“Cle…”
“I’m hungry, Ar. Can’t we just eat? We’ve been talking about me and my ex this whole time,” Clemira grumbled. Her face had turned red and pouty, a clear protest against a conversation that inevitably made her uncomfortable.
Arion said nothing else. He ate calmly without looking at Clemira or even sneaking a glance in her direction. The silence between them might have made people think a couple was giving each other the silent treatment. In reality, they were only best friends. And maybe that was all they would ever be.
The ride home was mostly silent, making the stormy expression on Clemira’s face even more obvious. Especially when Arion gently declined her mom’s invitation to come inside.
With the unease in her chest refusing to settle, Clemira could only stare miserably as Arion's bike disappeared down the road.
“Cle, you’re not fighting with Arion, are you?”
Clemira sighed, especially when that gentle touch brushed her shoulder. She knew her mother had been overly perceptive ever since she broke up with Galang.
“No, Mom. Arion was in a hurry! He’s been really busy lately.”
“Are you sure it’s only because of work? Cle, he likes you, you know,” Untari said gently. “If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have convinced your mother and father that he wasn’t merely being sincere when he looked out for you.”
“Mom—” The unease in Clemira’s chest refused to fade, especially after hearing what Untari had just said. Guilt seemed to take root in her heart. Why did she have to guard herself so fiercely because of her trauma?
“Enough. Convince your heart first.” And Clemira could only watch her mother’s back as she walked into the kitchen.
“I cooked extra on purpose so Arion could have dinner here, but he went home instead,” Untari said.
“But never mind. Go call your father and your cousin from the backyard!” she ordered.
Clemira nodded. She followed Untari and opened the kitchen door to look out at the backyard, which was filled with her favorite flowers.
Her father and her cousin were there, chatting casually over coffee.
“Dad, Mom’s calling you. Juno too—come eat first!”
“Oh, come on, Jun! We can finish talking later,” Dad Jayadi said, walking right past Clemira.
“Hang on, Dad!” Juno called back. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Ugh, it’s almost nighttime. Instead of going home, you’re hanging out here,” Cle grumbled as she walked over and sat beside Juno.
“Going home drives me crazy,” Juno said, as if he knew exactly what was on Clemira’s mind.
“Why? Are they hounding you to get married again?”
“Hmm. You know what my mom’s like, right?” Juno snorted irritably at the thought of how every visit home turned into a lecture about his refusal to get married.
“Maybe you’re too old to stay single. At your age, you should be having the time of your life with kids.” Clemira tried to brush off her unease. Her fate and Juno’s had never been all that different.
“Mom and Dad are the same way,” Clemira finally admitted.
“And you still haven’t been able to move on after ten years. Move on, Cle! What’s wrong with Arion?” Juno said, gently patting Clemira’s shoulder.
Move on? Had it really been that hard for her to move on all this time?