That morning, Haikal woke before the alarm went off.
He didn't open his eyes right away. For a few moments, he simply lay there, listening to the side of the bed that was too quiet. The sheets beside him had gone cold. Aruna's pillow was no longer in its usual place, and there were no footsteps coming from the bathroom, no trace of the perfume that usually lingered in the air.
Haikal opened his eyes.
The sky beyond the window was still pale. Morning light fell thinly across the bedroom floor, touching the empty chair near the vanity. He turned toward the nightstand. There was no message from Aruna.
No explanation.
Haikal sat up slowly. His head immediately felt light, then began throbbing behind his eyes. He waited several seconds for his briefly wavering vision to stabilize.
“The company,” he murmured, as if remembering the excuse he would have to give if anyone asked.
But there was no one else in the room.
He found Aruna gone from the house when he went downstairs. Several servants were setting the dining room, but none of them knew when the lady of the house had left. They only said that Aruna had gone out before the sun had fully risen.
Haikal didn't ask any further.
At the dining table, far too long for three people, Arunika sat in her chair with her hair tied into two pigtails. In front of her was a bowl of porridge, a glass of milk, and a slice of untouched bread.
The moment she saw Haikal, her face brightened.
“Dad!”
Haikal gave a small smile. “Good morning.”
“Mom isn't here.”
“I know.”
“She said she was going out for a bit.” Arunika stirred her porridge with a spoon. “But she didn't say where she was going.”
Haikal pulled out the chair beside her. “Maybe she had something to take care of.”
“What?”
“The company.”
Arunika wrinkled her nose. “Does everyone leave because of the company?”
Haikal almost smiled wider. “Not everyone.”
“Are you leaving too, Dad?”
“In a little while.”
“Don't. Eat breakfast first.”
“I'm not very hungry.”
Arunika immediately turned to her nanny. “Nanny, Dad hasn't eaten.”
Haikal let out a short sigh. “I can eat later.”
“No later.” Arunika picked up a piece of bread and held it out to Haikal. “Now.”
Haikal stared at the bread.
“I have a meeting.”
“The meeting can wait.”
“Meetings don't like waiting.”
“Then eat quickly.”
Arunika's tone was so firm that Haikal had no good enough reason to argue. He accepted the bread and took a small bite.
It tasted bland. His stomach immediately rejected it, but he swallowed slowly so Arunika wouldn't see his expression change.
“Finish it,” Arunika said.
“Just a little.”
“Finish it.”
Haikal looked at his daughter. Arunika raised an eyebrow, imitating an adult expression she had seen before. For the first time that morning, Haikal gave a small laugh.
“All right, Doctor Arunika.”
He ate the bread until it was gone. After that, Arunika forced Haikal to take a few bites of porridge and drink half a glass of milk. Haikal obeyed not because his body wanted any of it, but because his daughter kept watching him with the seriousness of a little doctor.
“Now Dad will take Arunika to school,” Arunika said after breakfast.
“Not your nanny?”
“Arunika wants to go with Dad.”
“I have to go to the university this morning.”
“Arunika's school is close to your university too.”
“Not that close.”
“Then take me first, and go afterward.”
Haikal studied her face.
Arunika clasped both hands in front of her chest. “Please?”
It wasn't really a question. Haikal knew his daughter would keep pleading until he gave in.
“All right.”
Arunika gave a small cheer and climbed down from her chair. She ran to get her rabbit-decorated bag while Haikal rose slowly.
The world shifted again.
This time he gripped the edge of the table. His fingers clenched around the wooden surface until his knuckles turned white. His breath caught. Arunika's voice sounded far away, as if coming from behind a wall.
“Dad?”
Haikal quickly let go.
He turned and found Arunika hugging her bag.
“What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you dizzy?”
“No.”
“Nanny says you have to sit down if you're dizzy.”
Haikal approached and crouched in front of her. “I just stood up too quickly.”
“Then sit down slowly.”
“All right.”
Arunika nodded, satisfied. She didn't know that Haikal was waiting for his heart to return to a rhythm he could trust.
The car left the mansion a few minutes later. Arunika sat in the back seat with her nanny, but she never stopped talking. She told him about her deskmate, the picture she was going to draw at school, and how she wanted to show her new hair ribbon to her teacher.
Haikal listened, answering every so often.
Outside the window, the city moved quickly. Tall buildings reflected the sunlight, vehicles filled the roads, and people walked toward their separate destinations. Everyone seemed rushed, as if no one had time to stop and think about what they were actually feeling.
When the car passed a city park, Haikal saw something among the trees.
He didn't recognize Aruna right away.
She was wearing gray workout clothes. Her hair was tied high, and her face looked more alive than it did at home. She was jogging slowly along the park path, then slowed her pace when a man approached her.
The man was tall.
Haikal recognized him even from that distance.
Ryan.
Aruna stopped. Ryan said something Haikal couldn't hear from inside the car. The woman gave a small laugh, then touched his arm briefly. A light gesture. It might not have meant anything.
But Haikal had lived too long on small gestures not to understand what they meant.
The car continued forward.
He turned his head until the park disappeared behind a line of vehicles.
“Dad?”
Arunika's voice made Haikal turn back toward the front.
“Yes?”
“What happened?”
Haikal watched his reflection in the windshield. The face looking back at him was calm again, as usual. There was no change anyone was allowed to see.
“Nothing.”
“You were quiet just now.”
“I was thinking about the company.”
Arunika let out a small sigh, then said, “The company again.”
Haikal almost smiled.
“Yeah.”
“Does the company make you sad?”
The question struck too precisely.
Haikal didn't answer for several seconds. He felt the pressure in his chest, the bitter taste rising from his stomach, and the number fifty-three still folded in his jacket pocket. Everything he was hiding gathered in one place, but not one of them emerged as an answer.
“The company is just dealing with a lot of problems,” he said at last.
Arunika pressed her palm against the back of the front seat. “Then tell the company to stop being naughty.”
Haikal laughed softly. “I'll tell it later.”
They arrived at Arunika's school soon afterward. Haikal got out and walked her to the entrance. Arunika gripped his hand tightly, as if afraid Haikal would leave before she had actually gone inside.
“Will you pick me up?”
“If I don't have a meeting.”
“You have to pick me up.”
“All right.”
“Promise?”
Haikal bent down and kissed her forehead. “Promise.”
Arunika then ran inside. She glanced back twice to wave. Haikal waved back until the little girl disappeared behind the doors.
Only then did he stand alone in the school courtyard.
His smile slowly disappeared.
On the way to Widjaja University, his phone vibrated. A message from Naren came without a greeting.
Naren: Don't answer me with the company.
Haikal read the message while staring at the road ahead.
A second message appeared a few seconds later.
Naren: I know you went to the hospital yesterday.
Haikal's finger stopped above the screen.
He didn't reply right away. The car kept moving, but his body felt still. For the first time since leaving the clinic, he felt that his lie had taken shape and acquired a face.
Naren: I'm not going to ask where you're sick.
Naren: I just want you to be honest for once.
Haikal locked his phone.
Honest about what?
That his body was beginning to give up? That he could no longer sleep without waking to upper abdominal pain? That he had seen Aruna with Ryan and still had no right to be angry because from the beginning, her heart had never truly belonged to Haikal?
Or that he was tired of always being the one who understood?
The car stopped in front of the university president's building. Haikal got out and walked with measured steps. Several students and staff greeted him. He answered with a nod and a smile he had grown so accustomed to wearing that it no longer felt like something he chose.
He walked toward the main staircase.
On the seventh step, his vision suddenly went white.
Haikal stopped.
The sounds around him receded. The stairs beneath his feet seemed to tilt as his body lost its sense of direction. He reached for the railing, but his palm met only air.
Someone walked past him without noticing anything.
Haikal closed his eyes.
One breath.
Two.
Three.
He opened his eyes again once the floor had stopped moving. No students had turned to look. No staff had asked anything. Everyone was too busy with their own affairs.
Good.
He didn't want to be seen.
His phone vibrated again.
Naren: Haikal.
Naren: If you still consider us family, stop hiding everything.
Haikal stared at the message for a long time.
At the end of the corridor, the university president's office waited. Behind that door were a desk, documents, meetings, and every reason he had used to keep himself standing all this time.
He typed a reply.
Haikal: I'm fine.
He stopped before sending it.
For a moment, his thumb hovered over the screen. Then he deleted the sentence and replaced it with a safer answer.
Haikal: I'm thinking about the company.
The message was sent.
A few seconds later, Naren replied.
Naren: I'm not talking about the company.
Haikal slipped his phone into his pocket.
He opened the office door, stepped inside, and closed it behind him.
Outside, the world still knew Haikala Widjaja as a man who never lost control.
No one saw that morning how close he had come to falling on the stairs of his own university.
No one knew he had just seen his wife with a man from her past.
And no one, except Naren, who was beginning to suspect the truth, knew that Haikal was trying to hide something bigger than heartbreak.
Something that was slowly eating away at his body from the inside.