The day of departure finally arrived.
Friday afternoon.
Since morning, I had checked my bag several times.
Not because anything wasn't ready.
Quite the opposite.
I'd prepared everything the night before.
My clothes were folded.
My jacket was packed.
My raincoat was in an easy-to-reach compartment.
My headlamp and spare batteries were in the front pocket.
My power bank was fully charged.
I'd even packed the small medications I might need.
I had even lined up snacks on the table that I really didn't need to buy.
The problem was, whenever I was about to travel any significant distance, I always had one bad habit.
Checking the same things over and over.
Headlamp.
Check.
Power bank.
Check.
Wallet.
Check.
Phone.
Check.
Keys.
Check.
ID card.
Check.
I opened my bag again.
The headlamp was still there.
I closed it.
Five minutes later, I opened it again.
Still there.
I knew the habit made no sense.
But once you got used to it, it was hard to stop.
Especially when the trip ahead wasn't an ordinary one.
We were going night hiking.
And I didn't like night hiking.
I'd said that from the beginning.
Not because I was afraid.
At least, that wasn't the reason I was willing to admit.
I just didn't like walking when my eyes couldn't do their job properly.
Simple.
During the day, I could see the trail.
I could see roots.
I could see rocks.
I could see if the ground was slippery.
I could estimate the steepness of the route.
Night took all of that away.
All that remained was the circle of light from my headlamp.
Whatever lay beyond that circle seemed not to exist.
And the human brain had one bad habit.
When it couldn't see something, it filled in the blanks itself.
With anything.
Sometimes with things that weren't there.
That was why I preferred seeing things as they were.
Maybe that was also why I always tried to find the simplest explanation whenever something felt strange.
If there was a sound, there had to be a source.
If there was a light, there had to be a source.
If someone thought they saw something, maybe their eyes had misread it.
That's what I always thought.
Until this trip.
Around three in the afternoon, Bon sent a text.
> **Bon:** Leaving now.
I was standing in front of my closet.
I replied:
> **Joy:** Fifteen minutes.
Bon's reply came quickly.
> **Bon:** Not fifteen minutes in your world.
I smiled.
I knew what he meant.
My fifteen minutes could sometimes turn into half an hour.
I picked up my bag.
Lifted it.
Heavy.
I sighed.
"Whatever."
I put the bag on my back.
Then I checked the house one more time before leaving.
Lights off.
Stove off.
Faucets off.
Back door locked.
I turned off the living room light.
Locked the door.
Then walked toward the car.
The afternoon air was still pretty hot.
Very different from the image of the mountain that had been in my head for the past few days.
I put my bag in the trunk.
Then checked the time.
3:47 p.m.
Bon was already waiting.
"You said fifteen minutes."
I turned around.
Bon stood beside the car with his arms folded.
"It hasn't been fifteen."
"It's been seventeen."
I checked the time.
"Two minutes over."
"That's what I said."
I laughed.
"You were counting?"
"If I don't count, you get even more relaxed."
I opened the door.
"Where are the others?"
"Darma and Ozan are buying drinks."
"Adit?"
"Already here."
I looked inside the car.
Adit was sitting in the back.
His big camera was beside him.
"Ready?"
Adit gave me a thumbs-up.
"Ready."
I put my small bag inside.
Then sat down.
Darma arrived soon after, carrying two plastic bags.
"Move over."
"What'd you buy?"
"Food."
"That much?"
"It's a long trip."
Ozan, walking behind him, laughed immediately.
"He's afraid he'll starve."
Darma climbed in.
"Don't talk. You bought three rolls earlier."
"Those are provisions."
"Provisions for what?"
"Just in case."
"Just in case of what?"
"Just in case you eat mine."
Darma laughed.
Bon got into the driver's seat.
"Everyone ready?"
"Ready," I answered.
Bon checked the time.
Then started the engine.
The car began to move.
I watched through the window.
The houses slowly fell behind us.
The afternoon streets were still crowded.
Motorcycles zipped past.
Cars stopped and started.
People were heading home from work.
Vendors were starting to pack up their stalls.
Everything looked ordinary.
Too ordinary.
And maybe that was exactly why I didn't realize that day was the beginning of something completely out of the ordinary.
Five minutes after we started driving, Darma had already turned on the music.
"Don't."
Ozan immediately protested.
"Why not?"
"It's been less than five minutes."
"That's exactly why. So the trip won't be boring."
Darma picked a song.
Turned up the volume.
He started singing.
At first, softly.
Then louder and louder.
I held back a smile.
Bon shook his head while holding the wheel.
Adit looked out the window.
Ozan covered his ears.
"When you sing, don't put so much feeling into it."
Darma stopped.
"Why?"
"Because your voice can't support it."
"You're jealous."
"I'm grateful."
I laughed.
Darma turned to me.
"Joy, do you think I have a good voice?"
I answered honestly.
"Nope."
"Traitor."
"You're the one who asked."
Darma changed the song.
Then started singing again.
This time, even louder.
Bon finally said,
"If you're still singing in five minutes, I'm pulling over."
Darma immediately went silent.
We all laughed.
The ride grew quiet again.
I leaned back in my seat.
Watched the road.
For some reason, I felt happy in a way that was hard to explain.
Maybe because we were finally really on our way.
For the past few weeks, Lawu had only been a name on my phone screen.
A schedule.
A gear list.
Conversations.
Plans.
Now everything had turned into a real trip.
I checked the time.
4:22 p.m.
We still had plenty of time.
I picked up my phone.
Opened the **LAWU — 9** group chat.
A new text came in.
> **Alin:** The second car is on the way.
Bon replied immediately.
> **Bon:** Okay.
Darma took out his phone.
"Photo."
"Huh?"
"We left first."
He took a picture of us from the front.
It turned out terrible.
Several faces were cut off.
Darma laughed.
"Perfect."
Adit looked at the screen.
"It's awful."
"It's called candid."
"That's not candid."
"Then what is it?"
"You accidentally took a picture of the windshield."
We laughed.
I shook my head.
Darma put his phone away.
"The important thing is that we have one."
I didn't know why, but at that moment I felt like saving as many pictures from the trip as possible.
Not because of a premonition.
Not because I felt something was going to happen.
Only because trips like this had a way of leaving behind little memories.
Pictures on the road.
Pictures while eating.
Pictures during stops.
Pictures when we were tired.
The kinds of things that would make us smile when we looked back at them later.
At least, that's what I thought.
We made our first stop about an hour later.
Not because there was a problem.
Just to refuel.
Bon got out.
I got out too, to stretch my legs.
The air was still warm.
I looked at the sky.
The sun was beginning to sink.
It wasn't dark yet.
But the blue was slowly turning gold.
Darma bought coffee.
Ozan bought water.
Adit checked his camera.
I stood near the car, watching the second car pull to a stop not far from us.
Doy got out.
Fathur came out after him.
Alin got out too.
Eka was the last to leave.
He immediately stood beside the car.
He didn't say anything.
I watched him.
He was staring west.
I followed his gaze.
The sun was almost touching the horizon.
"Hey."
Eka turned.
"Yeah?"
"What's up?"
"What's up with what?"
"You've been looking over there for a while."
He looked back toward the sun.
"It's pretty."
I laughed.
"That's it?"
"Yeah."
I stood beside him.
"We'll get there at night."
"Mm-hmm."
"Tired?"
"Not yet."
"Scared?"
He looked at me for a moment.
Then smiled.
"No."
I nodded.
There was nothing else to discuss.
From behind us, Darma shouted.
"Picture!"
I turned around.
Adit was already holding the camera.
"Everyone, get over here."
We gathered together.
The two cars were behind us.
The evening sky overhead.
The road beginning to fill with traffic.
Nine people.
Adit set the timer.
I stood between Bon and Ozan.
Darma made a peace sign.
Fathur laughed.
Doy stood slightly behind us.
Eka stood beside Alin.
Click.
The first picture.
Adit checked the result.
"Looks good."
Darma immediately came over.
"Let me see."
I looked too.
The picture was actually pretty ordinary.
There was no mountain.
No spectacular scenery.
Just us at a gas station.
But maybe because it was ordinary, the picture felt nice.
We all looked relaxed.
No one was tense.
No one was thinking too far ahead.
I saved the picture.
Then we got back into the cars.
The trip continued.
The sun began to set as the road changed.
Buildings became less frequent.
Trees grew more abundant.
The air coming through the window felt a little cooler.
Bon turned down the music.
Darma had stopped singing.
Ozan was looking at his phone.
Adit was asleep.
I kept looking outside.
Then something appeared in the distance.
A mountain.
At first, it was only a faint shadow.
The farther we went, the clearer its shape became.
Lawu.
I didn't know why seeing a mountain from far away always felt different from seeing it in a picture.
In a picture, a mountain looked like an object.
From a distance, it felt enormous.
Silent.
And once the sun had nearly disappeared, the mountain's shape turned into a dark silhouette.
I stared at it for a long time.
Bon noticed.
"You see it?"
I nodded.
"Lawu."
"Your first time?"
"Here?"
"Yeah."
I shook my head.
"No."
Bon smiled.
"That's why I'm relaxed."
"Because you've been here before?"
"Yeah."
I looked at him.
"You sure about the trail?"
"I'm sure."
"Don't get us lost."
Bon laughed.
"Where do you think I'm taking you?"
"That's why I'm asking."
"Relax."
I looked back at the mountain.
For some reason, Bon's answer made me feel a little calmer.
He'd been there before.
He knew what he was doing.
And we weren't alone.
Nine people.
Two cars.
Everyone accounted for.
Everything was going according to plan.
My phone vibrated.
A text from Eka.
> **Eka:** Joy.
I replied:
> **Joy:** Yeah?
> **Eka:** Can you see the mountain?
I looked ahead.
Then typed:
> **Joy:** I can.
> **Eka:** It's huge, huh?
> **Joy:** Yeah.
A moment later:
> **Eka:** I feel kind of weird.
I typed back immediately:
> **Joy:** Feeling sick?
The reply came in.
> **Eka:** No.
I stared at the screen.
> **Joy:** Then what?
A long pause.
Then:
> **Eka:** I don't know.
I typed again.
> **Joy:** Are you scared?
This time, the answer took even longer.
> **Eka:** Maybe.
I looked at the second car.
It was several vehicles behind us.
Eka was sitting by the window.
I could see his silhouette.
He was looking outside.
I typed:
> **Joy:** Relax. We're all together.
The typing dots appeared.
Then:
> **Eka:** Yeah.
There were no more texts after that.
I put my phone in my pocket.
I didn't know what was making him feel weird.
But I tried not to think about it.
Maybe it was because we were traveling at night.
Maybe he wasn't used to it yet.
Maybe mountains just had a different atmosphere.
All of those possibilities made more sense than anything that crossed my mind that night.
Around seven, we stopped to eat.
A roadside restaurant.
Not very big.
Its lights were bright.
There were several long tables.
The sound of passing vehicles came and went.
We all got out.
Darma immediately looked for a seat.
"My stomach's empty."
Fathur laughed.
"Even though you ate earlier?"
"That was just a warm-up."
We ordered food.
Rice.
Chicken.
Eggs.
Vegetables.
Hot drinks.
The conversation grew lively again.
Adit showed us some of the pictures he'd taken during the trip.
Darma commented on every single one.
"My face looks terrible here."
"It does."
"Why do I look fat here?"
"Because you're fat."
"Joy."
I laughed.
Bon only focused on eating.
Fathur reminded us about water.
"Don't drink too much right now."
Darma looked at him.
"Why not?"
"You'll have to pee all the time later."
Darma nodded.
"Makes sense."
I looked at Eka.
He was eating less than usual.
Alin noticed.
"Not hungry?"
Eka shook his head.
"I am."
"Then what?"
"I'm still full."
Doy, sitting across from him, only watched.
He didn't say anything.
I looked at the two of them.
There was something I didn't know.
I could feel it.
But I chose not to get involved.
Maybe because the trip had just begun.
Maybe because I didn't want to change the mood.
Or maybe because I still believed everything had a simple explanation.
After we finished eating, we returned to the cars.
It was around eight o'clock.
The sky was completely dark.
The road toward the Lawu area grew quieter.
There weren't as many streetlights as before.
A few houses were still visible.
Small food stalls.
Stores.
Repair shops.
Then, little by little, they all disappeared.
There were more trees.
The road grew more winding.
I began to notice a change in Bon.
His hands remained steady on the wheel.
But his concentration had sharpened.
He didn't talk much.
I looked at the dashboard.
Then out the window again.
The mountain was no longer clearly visible.
Only a dark shape that appeared now and then between the trees.
Darma spoke up.
"Still a long way?"
Bon answered,
"A little."
"A little according to who?"
"According to normal people."
Darma laughed.
"So, far."
Ozan yawned.
Adit was still asleep.
I smiled.
Long trips always changed people.
Darma, who was usually the loudest, had begun to quiet down.
Ozan had fallen asleep several times.
Even Bon wasn't saying much.
I was starting to feel sleepy myself.
But I didn't want to sleep.
I wanted to watch the trip all the way to the end.
Maybe because this was the first time I'd truly felt like I was heading toward something.
Not just taking an ordinary trip.
There was a sense of anticipation.
For what, I didn't know.
Around eight-thirty, the second car was fairly close to us.
I saw its lights through the rearview mirror.
Two white lights.
It wasn't far away.
I opened the group chat.
Darma had just sent a text.
> **Darma:** Don't let the car behind disappear.
Ozan laughed.
> **Ozan:** You're the one who shouldn't disappear.
Bon:
> **Bon:** Stay in convoy.
Fathur:
> **Fathur:** Got it.
Adit sent a thumbs-up emoji.
I looked at the group members' names.
Nine.
Everyone was online.
I didn't know why that simple fact made me feel relieved.
Maybe because I'd started to feel the atmosphere changing during the trip.
The closer we got to the mountain, the less I could see.
There were fewer human voices.
It was getting darker.
But when I saw their names in the group chat, everything felt normal again.
Nine people.
My friends.
I locked my phone.
About half an hour later, the road began to climb.
The car moved more slowly.
Bon focused on the road.
Darma wasn't joking much anymore.
I could feel the air getting colder.
I lowered the window a little.
The wind rushed in immediately.
Cold.
I pulled on my jacket.
"It's getting cold."
Bon nodded.
"We've entered the area up top."
I looked outside.
The trees on both sides were growing denser.
There weren't many houses.
Lights appeared only now and then.
I said nothing.
A small feeling rose inside me.
Not fear.
More like the realization that we'd truly left ordinary life behind.
There was still a road behind us.
There was still a city.
There were still houses.
There were still lights.
But ahead...
everything was growing darker.
I took out my phone.
There was no signal.
I raised it slightly.
One bar.
Then it disappeared.
Darma noticed.
"Lost it?"
I nodded.
"Yeah."
"Good."
"What's good about that?"
"Now you can't do any work."
I laughed.
He always had an excuse.
Then our car went through a long turn.
I looked ahead.
There were no vehicles.
No houses.
Only the road lit by our headlights.
A few seconds later, I saw the second car in the rearview mirror.
It was still there.
I didn't think much of it.
But a few minutes later, the second car was gone.
I turned around.
"Bon."
"Hmm?"
"The car behind us?"
Bon looked in the mirror.
He didn't answer immediately.
Maybe it was hidden around the turn.
Darma looked too.
"It was there a second ago."
Bon slowed down.
"We'll wait."
The car stopped at the side of the road.
We all looked behind us.
Darkness.
Several seconds passed.
No lights.
Darma took out his phone.
"It was right behind us."
Ozan looked at his screen.
"No messages yet."
Bon took out his phone.
He tried calling.
The call wouldn't connect.
I started to feel uneasy.
Not because anything strange had happened.
Only because the road around us was dark, and if the second car had stopped too far back, we didn't know why.
I looked behind us again.
Finally, two lights appeared at the end of the turn.
The second car.
It drew closer.
Bon exhaled.
"There."
The car passed us.
Darma raised a hand.
The driver flashed his lights in reply.
Then our car started moving again.
Everything was normal.
Nothing had happened.
We'd just stopped for a moment.
I rested my head against the seat.
"I was wondering what happened."
Bon gave a small laugh.
"Maybe they stopped."
I nodded.
I didn't know why, but as the second car passed us, I briefly saw Eka through the window.
He wasn't looking toward us.
He was looking outside.
Toward the forest.
His stare was blank.
I wanted to text him again.
But I decided against it.
The closer we got to basecamp, the lower the temperature dropped.
I checked the time.
8:47 p.m.
It was almost completely night.
Darma finally turned off the music.
No one joked anymore.
Not because they were afraid.
We were probably all just getting tired.
The mood inside the car settled into silence.
I looked outside.
Trees.
Road.
Darkness.
Every now and then, there was a house light.
Then it disappeared again.
I thought about the meeting two weeks earlier.
About the map.
About Bon's text.
About the group name.
**LAWU — 9.**
I smiled faintly.
Nine people.
No more.
I opened the group chat.
The last text was still from Fathur.
> **Fathur:** Don't forget to check your gear before we start climbing.
I read the list of names again.
Bon.
Darma.
Ozan.
Fathur.
Doy.
Adit.
Eka.
Alin.
Joy.
Nine.
Complete.
I locked the screen.
Then looked ahead.
Bon was still driving.
His hands were steady.
The road continued uphill.
I began to feel a little relieved.
We were almost there.
A few more minutes.
After that, we could get out.
Collect our things.
Register.
Rest for a while.
Then think about the hike.
Everything was going according to plan.
Nothing was strange.
Nothing had happened.
Nothing at all.
Just a long trip toward the mountain.
I don't know how long I had been looking outside when Darma's voice reached me.
"Joy."
"Hmm?"
"Look."
I turned.
He pointed ahead.
I looked.
There were several points of light in the distance.
House lights.
Or maybe a food stall.
I didn't know.
But I immediately felt calmer.
There was life.
There were people.
There was light.
The mountain that had felt so huge and dark until then began to feel closer to human life.
Bon said,
"We're close."
Darma let out a relieved breath.
"Finally."
I chuckled.
Ozan lifted his head from his phone.
"Basecamp?"
"Yeah."
I looked behind us.
The second car was still following.
This time, it was closer.
I could see its lights clearly.
Nine people.
Two cars.
One destination.
I didn't know why, but at that moment I felt like everything would be okay.
Maybe it would.
Maybe all the worries that had appeared since our last meeting were just ordinary worries.
Eka was only nervous.
Doy was only being overly cautious.
The stories about the mountain were just stories.
And me?
I was just overthinking.
That's all.
I rested my head against the window.
Closed my eyes for a moment.
Not to sleep.
Just to rest.
A few seconds later, my phone vibrated.
I opened it.
A text from Eka.
Just one.
> **Eka:** Joy.
I replied:
> **Joy:** Yeah?
There was no reply.
I waited.
Then a new text appeared.
> **Eka:** Have you been watching the mountain this whole time?
I turned to look outside.
The mountain was no longer visible, hidden behind the trees.
I typed:
> **Joy:** Not now.
The typing dots appeared.
Then disappeared.
They appeared again.
Finally, a text came in.
> **Eka:** Thank God.
I frowned.
I typed:
> **Joy:** Why?
There was no answer.
I waited several seconds.
Then the final text appeared.
> **Eka:** I'll tell you later.
I stared at the screen.
I wanted to ask more.
But before I could type, our car went through another turn.
The lights ahead were growing more numerous.
Basecamp might be close.
I put my phone in my pocket.
Looked ahead.
And for the first time that night, I realized something that was actually very simple.
We really were heading toward the mountain.
But since leaving home that afternoon, I hadn't felt truly relaxed even once.
Something kept nagging at me.
Something I couldn't put a name to.
I watched the second car through the rearview mirror.
It was still there.
Its lights were bright.
Following us.
I smiled faintly.
Nine people.
Complete.
I looked ahead again.
Without knowing that in a few minutes, we would arrive at a place that would change the way we saw this trip.
And without knowing that before that night ended, the simple sentence I kept repeating in my head—
**"There are nine of us."**
—would begin to feel like something we had to keep checking again and again.