The next morning, Mai arrived at the school gate earlier than usual.
She had told herself she only wanted to hear what important thing Khanh had to say. That was all. But from the moment she left home, she had unconsciously chosen a blue hair clip and carefully checked her bag three times to make sure there was an umbrella inside.
The sky was overcast, and wind swept through the crape myrtle trees, sending dry leaves rolling along the sidewalk. Khanh still hadn't arrived.
Mai checked her watch.
7:12 a.m.
She was starting to get impatient.
"Who are you waiting for?"
Lan's voice behind her made Mai jump. Lan stood there holding two bánh mì sandwiches, her eyes full of suspicion.
"I'm not waiting for anyone."
"Sure. I also usually stand in front of the school gate for fifteen minutes when I'm not waiting for anyone."
Before Mai could answer, a bicycle stopped across the street. Khanh got off, his hair slightly messy, the blue umbrella in his hand. When he saw Mai, he immediately smiled as if he'd found exactly what he had been hoping for since early that morning.
"Sorry. I'm late."
"You said you had something to tell me."
Khanh nodded but didn't speak right away. He propped up his bike, then held the umbrella out to Mai.
"Take it."
"It's not raining."
"It will later."
"Are you a weatherman now?"
"No. But I can see the clouds."
Lan turned away, trying to hide her smile. Mai took the umbrella, her fingertips brushing lightly against Khanh's hand. They both froze for the briefest moment.
Quang appeared just then.
He walked through the school gate with a guitar slung over his shoulder, stopping when he saw Khanh and Mai standing together. Quang's gaze swept over the blue umbrella, then returned to Khanh's face.
"You still have it?"
Khanh tightened his grip on his backpack strap.
"Yeah."
"It's been a long time."
"It's not that big a deal."
Quang gave a humorless smile.
"If it weren't a big deal, you would've thrown it away a long time ago."
Mai looked at the two of them. The intimacy beneath those words made her feel as if she were standing outside an old story. She wanted to ask what the umbrella meant, but Khanh spoke first.
"Are you still practicing this afternoon?"
"Yeah. I want you to come."
"Why?"
"To hear the old song."
Khanh fell silent. A moment later, he looked at Mai.
"Are you busy this afternoon?"
Before Mai could answer, Quang said,
"If Mai's busy, you can still come by yourself."
His voice was gentle, but for some reason, it sounded like a challenge.
Khanh looked at Quang.
"You don't need to answer for her."
"Then don't answer for her either."
The air in front of the school gate suddenly grew tense. Lan gave Mai's arm a gentle tug, signaling for her to move aside. But Mai didn't want to leave. She looked at Khanh and saw restrained annoyance in his eyes, while Quang remained so calm that it only made him more infuriating.
"I'll come this afternoon," Mai said.
Both Khanh and Quang turned to look at her.
"Are you sure?" Khanh asked.
"Yeah. I want to hear the old song."
Quang said nothing. He only adjusted his guitar strap and walked into the school courtyard.
Khanh walked beside Mai, silent the entire way to class.
"Are you mad?" Mai asked.
"No."
"Nothing again?"
"Yeah."
Mai stopped in the middle of the stairs.
"Khanh."
He stopped too.
"What?"
"If you don't want me to come, just say so."
Khanh stared at her.
"I never said that."
"But you're acting like I'm intruding on something between the two of you."
"That's not it."
"Then what is it?"
Khanh looked at her. He always seemed calm, but now his fingers were unconsciously clenching around his backpack strap.
"Quang isn't just an old friend."
Mai waited.
"We used to be really close."
"And then?"
"Then we weren't close anymore."
"Because of the music competition?"
Khanh didn't answer.
Mai realized she had touched on something he didn't want to talk about. She was about to apologize when Khanh said quietly,
"There are some things I'm afraid you'll see me differently if I tell you."
"What are you afraid I'll think?"
"That I'm the kind of person who gives up."
Mai looked at him. Khanh raised his head, his eyes no longer avoiding hers.
"Back then, we signed up for a competition. Quang played guitar, and I sang. I told him we'd see it through to the end. But right before the competition, I quit."
"Because you were scared?"
"Yeah."
"So Quang was mad at you?"
"Maybe he wasn't mad that I didn't compete. He was mad because I disappeared without saying anything."
Mai didn't know how to comfort him. She could only ask softly,
"Do you regret it?"
Khanh looked down at the stairs.
"Yeah."
It was a simple answer, but so honest that Mai's heart softened.
"Then why don't you apologize?"
"Because I don't know where to start."
"You can start with, 'I'm sorry.'"
Khanh let out a soft laugh.
"Is it really that simple?"
"Not simple. But it's still better than saying nothing's wrong over and over."
He looked at her, his smile gradually becoming clearer.
"Are you lecturing me?"
"Yeah. Free of charge."
"Do I get to argue back?"
"No."
They both laughed. The tension from before eased, but one question still lingered in Mai's heart: What had Khanh been like when he sang, and why had he been so afraid that he gave up on something he had once loved?