The apartment felt quiet that night. Arka was working late at the office, chasing a project deadline that was already a week overdue, and like on every other night when Arka couldn't stop by, Nara was completely alone in her apartment.
Nara sat on the bathroom floor, her back against the cold wall, both arms wrapped around her knees. The pain in her lower back was sharper than usual this time, spreading to the side of her abdomen. Her breathing quickened, and cold sweat dampened her forehead despite the room's cool temperature.
No one saw Nara like this—her face holding back tears, a face that was truly exhausted, so different from the smile she always showed at the office or in front of Arka every day.
“It'll ease up soon,” she whispered to herself, a sentence she'd repeated hundreds of times over the past few months. “You're used to dealing with this on your own.”
She reached for her phone on the floor, opened her gallery, and stared at a single photo—her and Arka standing in front of the wedding venue they'd looked over the week before, smiling broadly as if there wasn't a care in the world.
The tears she'd been holding back finally fell, not only because of the physical pain, but because of the burden of keeping this lie all by herself.
Why me? Why now, when everything is happier than ever?
Her phone vibrated. A message from Arka.
Arka: I'm still at the office. Looks like I'll be home pretty late. Have you eaten? Don't forget to lock the door.
Nara stared at the message for a long time, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. She drew a deep breath until her voice sounded normal again before typing her reply.
Nara: I have, so don't worry. Do a good job, okay? Don't forget to eat, too. I'm going to bed first. I'm so tired today hehe.
She pressed send, then set her phone on the floor and went back to staring at the bathroom ceiling until the pain slowly subsided.
It took nearly half an hour before Nara was finally able to stand. She splashed cold water on her face and stared at herself in the mirror. The face looking back at her was calm again—a familiar little smile, her eyes no longer wet.
The mask she'd worn for months was back in place, perfectly fitted.
She walked to her bedroom and lay down on her own bed, in a room that felt quieter than usual that night. In the silence, her thoughts drifted to their conversation a few days earlier—the way Arka's mother had collapsed while cooking, and Arka's fear of losing someone he loved without warning.
Nara pressed her face into the pillow, holding back a sob that almost escaped.
I just want you to remember me as someone strong. Not as someone who makes you afraid like before.
She closed her eyes, letting her physical and emotional exhaustion carry her into a sleep that wasn't truly peaceful—a sleep filled with dreams of the wedding venue, rings, and the vague shadow of a hospital room she didn't want to imagine at all.
Around eleven that night, her phone vibrated once more—a brief message from Arka, who had just arrived at his own home.
Arka: I'm home. You're already asleep, huh? Good night, sweetheart. I'll call you first thing tomorrow morning.
Nara, already half-asleep, didn't have time to reply, leaving behind traces of dried tears faintly clinging to the eyelashes of a woman so exhausted from pretending she was fine—without a single person knowing, not even Arka.
To be continued in Chapter 6