“Ray, I actually like you.” Kai swallowed. His eyes gazed tenderly at the Captain of the boys’ basketball team, even as conflicted feelings roiled in his chest.
This wasn’t Kai’s first time confessing his feelings to someone. However, confessing his love to a guy was definitely a first—and honestly, it was embarrassing.
He was straight, and he knew he still liked girls very much. He also knew that Ray was straight and had only recently gotten dumped. There were even rumors that Ray had always been cheated on by his exes. It was the exact opposite of what people expected from a captain known for being perfect. It seemed impossible that anyone would cheat on him. And yet, that was the truth.
Kai didn’t expect much. Even if he had to take a punch from Ray, he’d already prepared himself to accept it. But he had a mission that was just as important, one that would be difficult to accomplish if he remained Ray’s classmate—someone whose presence might be like a passing breeze, never considered important by Ray. He had to enter Ray’s life and become someone close and important to him. He had no idea where this crazy idea had come from. Kai was willing to humiliate himself as a love beggar. And he had to pretend to be gay, all for Ray.
Ray was stunned. His hands were clasped beneath his chin. His eyes never left the guy known for being clumsy, innocent, blunt, outgoing, and friendly. Honestly, he was shocked to learn that Kai, who looked handsome and cute, was attracted to men. Still, in front of Kai, he remained calm and cool as usual.
“Ray, do you want to become my boyfriend?” Kai continued, doing everything he could to stay calm even as nervousness churned in his chest, squeezing the breath from his lungs.
Ray was startled, but he maintained his composure. His gaze remained fixed on Kai’s face, which, for some reason, looked even cuter when he was nervous.
“Are you done?” Ray asked curtly, his voice flat.
Kai nodded slowly. “Yeah…”
When Ray fell completely silent again, Kai spoke up once more. “If you need time, I can wait.”
Ray stared more intently at Kai, making the guy who was skilled at painting and playing guitar grow even more anxious. Kai’s fingers tapped repeatedly against the table. Sweat began pouring down his forehead. Asking a guy out was way more nerve-racking than asking a girl out.
“I’ll answer now,” Ray said without hesitation.
Kai swallowed. His hope of being accepted shrank. From Ray’s blank expression, Kai knew there was a good chance Ray would reject him. Kai had experienced rejection before, after asking his dream girl to become his girlfriend. Based on that painful experience, he’d thought he would be more prepared if Ray rejected him. Instead, his heart was pounding even harder, and he felt completely unprepared for Ray not to return his love.
“I want to become your boyfriend.”
Kai’s eyes flew wide. His pupils seemed to fill his entire eyes. That single sentence was a declaration of his ability to conquer a basketball captain known for being cold as a double-door refrigerator.
“Are you serious?” A small smile tugged at the corners of Kai’s lips.
“Do I look like I’m joking?” Ray replied flatly.
Kai smiled brightly. “So, are we officially together now?”
Ray nodded. There was no smile, no joy, not a single readable expression on his face.
“Yes, but we’re keeping it a secret. Don’t let anyone find out.”
Kai smiled again. “Don’t worry. I’m good at keeping secrets.”
Kai should have felt relieved because his mission would go smoothly now that he had successfully become Ray’s fake boyfriend. But for some reason, he felt a chill run down his spine instead, realizing that a dangerous game was only just beginning.
The cafeteria fell quiet again, and it was already nearly empty on that cloudy afternoon. The two young men remained seated across from each other, each wrestling with his own thoughts.
“Do you want to go to a coffee shop tomorrow night?” Kai had no idea where the idea came from. He’d never dated anyone before, but he took the initiative and asked Ray out for the first time.
“Okay. Since you’re the one who asked, you’re the one picking me up.” Ray’s expression wasn’t as blank as before, but he didn’t look happy either, like someone who had just officially become another person’s boyfriend.
“Sure. Do you want me to pick you up in a car or on a motorcycle?” Kai asked.
Ray exhaled softly. “The motorcycle. As long as you have a driver’s license, wear a helmet, and don’t speed.”
Kai nodded with his trademark smile. “Relax. Everything’s under control.”
The night felt ominous—not because of the cold, nor because his eyes were still open. Kai exhaled again and again. He felt as though the breeze slipping through the ventilation slats was laughing at him.
My first boyfriend is a guy? A guy? Yeah, a guy? Oh my God… For the sake of this secret mission, I have to pretend to be gay for that stiff basketball captain.
Kai had never imagined that he would have to play such a dangerous role. But his resolve was much stronger. He wanted Ray’s father to pay for everything he had done to Kai’s family, especially his father.
Tears slipped down Kai’s cheeks again when he remembered how his father had died in prison because of a trap set by Daniel Argantara, the father of that seemingly flawless basketball captain. It had taken time for Kai, his mother, and his younger sibling to get back on their feet and reclaim their former standing after living through the suffering of bankruptcy and a completely shattered mental state.
Kai swore that Daniel would feel what his father and his family had felt. He wanted Daniel to see his beloved only son destroyed by fake love.
Meanwhile, Ray was holed up in his room. He was still blaming himself for accepting love from a man. This was the first time Ray had ever felt confused about his own identity. He was still completely certain that he was straight, even though he had been cheated on by girls repeatedly. He couldn’t understand why he had been so stupid as to agree to become Kai’s boyfriend.
Ray wondered whether he had become so desperate and lost so much faith in women that his heart had changed course and started seeking a man’s love. He shuddered at the thought of how he would navigate this unusual relationship. Backing out wasn’t possible either. It would be ridiculous to ask for a breakup when he had only been asked out that afternoon.
Ray thought again about Kai, someone he had never paid much attention to before. Kai was known for being creative, skilled at painting, and good at playing guitar. He was also an expert in graphic design. Dating Kai didn’t seem so bad. Kai could help him whenever he had an art project.
Ray thought dating a guy might be more peaceful than dating girls, who came with so much drama.
Ray gently rubbed his face. He steeled himself with the thought that there was nothing wrong with trying to turn over a new leaf with Kai. Who knew? Maybe this time, he could experience love that was truly sincere, even if he wasn’t entirely convinced. All he needed to do was give himself and Kai a chance to prove that love could grow without being limited by gender or orientation.