Kendra’s eyes still felt sticky, but consciousness was already forcing him to wake up. His body slowly stretched, then his still-heavy eyes tried to peek toward the nightstand on the right side of the bed. Kendra reached for the alarm clock.
It’s still three in the morning, he told himself.
Maura was still fast asleep in the dim bedroom, where only some of the lights were on. Kendra couldn’t sleep with the lights on, while Maura was the opposite. She hated the dark. Their compromise was to leave some of the lights on—far from the bed, of course.
The man’s eyes struggled against the darkness. For a few moments, he scanned the woman sleeping soundly beside him. A round face, slanted eyes, chubby cheeks, curly hair. Ah, everything about Maura was the exact opposite of Kendra’s ideal woman.
He preferred women with oval faces and slender cheeks, especially if they had a pointed chin like Alissa’s. A woman looked incredibly mesmerizing with long, straight, jet-black hair like Alissa’s. Even more so if her eyes were sharp and slightly narrowed; they would look even sexier. Once again, Alissa had all of those things.
Oh, God! Why is she the one popping into my head again? I don’t mean to compare Alissa to Maura. I just…
Kendra lightly smacked his own head, trying to drive away the wicked thoughts inside it. He couldn’t compare his wife to another woman, especially not an ex. It was completely improper!
Kendra decided to get out of bed. He hoped the image of his ex would be washed away along with the water from his ablution. Kendra felt that he was only human—a creature prone to mistakes and sin, and easily tempted, especially by women.
Meeting Alissa hadn’t been Kendra’s intention. Surely God’s hand was involved. Whether it was a test for him or Allah had another plan for Kendra, he didn’t know. All he could do was pray and ask for the best for his life and the people he loved. Maura—of course Kendra loved her, even if it wasn’t romantic love.
Kendra still cared about Alissa too. In fact, he loved her deeply. But he didn’t want to become trapped in an illicit love affair, especially if it meant sacrificing Maura’s feelings and destroying the marriage they had built all these years. None of it was worth the pleasure he might gain from releasing the desire he had kept buried for Alissa.
Kendra realized that Maura had been with him from the beginning, when he was just starting his business, all the way to the success he enjoyed now. His wife had supported him not only with her abilities but also with all her prayers. That was no less important as a form of moral support. And then there was the capital, fully provided by Maura’s parents. Clearly, Kendra felt deeply indebted to them.
“Protect our marriage, Allah. Strengthen our faith and bless us with a little angel to hold our family together,” Kendra whispered during the final prostration of his late-night prayer.
After pouring out all his worries to the Giver of Love, Kendra’s heart felt lighter. He had fought for a peaceful, loving, and merciful family all this time; there was no way he would be the one to destroy it. Kendra’s decision was as firm as freshly fried tofu. He would have nothing more to do with Alissa.
Kendra hurried to grab the phone he had tossed onto the sofa before going to the bedroom the night before. Sure enough, Alissa had sent a flood of messages, stubbornly insisting that they get back together. She wanted to take advantage of the situation. After learning that Kendra and Maura still had no children, she was forcing her way between them. Kendra didn’t want to entertain her anymore. Blocking her was the final step he took.
“Forgive me, Al,” Kendra murmured.