Chapter Seven: Turns Out We Never Forgot
A little after six in the evening, a fine rain began to fall.
It wasn't heavy, but it came down in a soft, steady drizzle against the glass windows, as if someone were standing beyond the darkness, tapping on the pane with a fingertip, once after another.
Lin Wan stood at the company entrance, gazing at the hazy gray sky, and couldn't help sighing.
She had checked the weather before leaving that morning. The forecast had said it would only be cloudy today. She hadn't expected it to rain by evening.
Worse, she hadn't brought an umbrella.
“Wanwan, aren't you leaving?”
A coworker's voice came from behind her.
Lin Wan turned and saw Chen Siyu standing nearby with an umbrella.
“I'll wait for the rain to let up a little.”
“Want to walk together? Our subway stations are in the same direction anyway.”
Lin Wan glanced at the rain outside, then at the not-quite-large umbrella in Chen Siyu's hand.
“No, you go ahead. I'll call a ride in a bit.”
“All right, then. Be careful on your way.”
“Mm.”
After Chen Siyu left, the entrance quickly fell quiet again.
Lin Wan stood beneath the eaves and looked down at her phone.
There were a lot of people requesting rides. The wait time showed more than twenty minutes.
She frowned.
More than twenty minutes wasn't especially long, but it wasn't short, either.
If the rain got any heavier, she might not even be able to find the pickup spot.
Lin Wan was debating whether to brave the rain and walk to the convenience store nearby when her phone suddenly buzzed.
She looked down.
It was Gu Chengyuan.
There was only one short sentence.
—Still at the office?
Lin Wan stared at those few words, and her heart inexplicably skipped a beat.
Ever since they had dinner together that day, something subtle seemed to have changed between her and Gu Chengyuan.
They hadn't said anything outright.
They hadn't redefined their relationship.
They didn't even chat frequently, like ordinary friends.
But sometimes things were just like that.
Nothing had clearly changed, yet somehow everything felt different.
The Gu Chengyuan of the past had been too far away from her.
So far away that she could only hear about him from other people.
She knew where he had gone.
She knew what kind of work he did now.
She knew he was probably doing well.
But she didn't know whether he still remembered her.
Now, he had reappeared in her life.
Not as a memory.
Not in a photograph.
Not as a name she happened to overhear.
He was a real, living person.
Someone who texted her when she got off work.
Someone who remembered that she didn't like overly sweet coffee.
Someone who would sit quietly beside her when she fell silent, without forcing her to talk.
Lin Wan stared at her phone for several seconds before replying.
—Yeah. I'm getting ready to head home.
Less than ten seconds after the message was sent, her phone buzzed again.
—It's raining outside.
Lin Wan couldn't help laughing.
Of course she knew it was raining.
The sound of the rain outside was nearly wrapping up the entire city.
She was just about to reply, “I can see that,” when another message popped up.
—I'm nearby.
Lin Wan's fingers suddenly froze.
She raised her head and looked toward the curtain of rain.
For some reason, her heartbeat quickened.
—Why are you nearby?
This time, Gu Chengyuan didn't reply right away.
A minute passed.
Then her phone buzzed again.
—Come out.
Just two words.
Lin Wan froze.
The next second, she instinctively looked across the road.
Through the fine curtain of rain, a black car was parked by the curb.
Its headlights were on.
The window beside the driver's seat slowly lowered.
Gu Chengyuan sat inside.
Their gazes met through the rain.
In that instant, Lin Wan had a strange feeling.
It was as if time had suddenly turned back many years.
Back to when they hadn't yet separated.
Back to that rainy afternoon.
Back to all those times when he tilted the umbrella toward her, leaving half his own shoulder soaked.
Only now, neither of them looked the way they had before.
Lin Wan slowly walked out of the company.
Gu Chengyuan got out, opened an umbrella, and walked toward her.
“Didn't you say you were going to call a ride?”
“I couldn't get one.”
“I know.”
“How do you know?”
Standing in front of her, Gu Chengyuan said calmly, “Because it's hard to get a ride around here when it rains.”
Lin Wan looked at him.
“So you just happened to be passing by?”
Gu Chengyuan was silent for a moment.
“No.”
Lin Wan's heart stirred faintly.
“Then what is it?”
He looked up at her.
Rain fell between them.
“I came to find you.”
The words weren't romantic.
He had even said them in a perfectly calm tone.
And yet Lin Wan suddenly felt as though she had forgotten how to breathe.
She lowered her head and pretended to adjust her bag.
“You didn't have to come all this way.”
“I know.”
“Then why did you?”
“Because I wanted to.”
Lin Wan finally looked up.
Gu Chengyuan was still standing in front of her.
He wasn't smiling, nor was he deliberately saying anything heart-stirring.
But his honesty made it even harder for her to respond.
It had been a long time since she'd seen this side of Gu Chengyuan.
He had always been like this.
He wasn't good at sweet talk, but he always did what he wanted in the most straightforward way.
When he told her he liked her, he had simply stood beneath a tree behind the school field and said, while looking at her, “Lin Wan, I think I really like you.”
There had been no flowers.
No formal confession.
Not even a prepared speech.
Yet she had remembered it for years.
“Let's go.”
Gu Chengyuan opened the car door for her.
Lin Wan didn't refuse again.
She got into the passenger seat.
The moment the door closed, most of the rain outside was shut out.
The car was quiet.
After fastening her seat belt, Lin Wan noticed a hot drink beside the center console.
She paused.
“What is this?”
“Hot chocolate.”
“For me?”
“Mm.”
Lin Wan looked at the cup of hot chocolate.
The cup was still warm in her hands.
She suddenly remembered how, many years ago, when she felt awful during her period, Gu Chengyuan had bought her a cup of hot chocolate at a convenience store.
She had teased him then.
“How did you know I wanted this?”
He had said, “Because you drink this every time you're in a bad mood.”
She had been stunned at the time, because even she hadn't noticed.
Someone had been quietly remembering all her little habits.
“You still remember?” Lin Wan asked softly.
Gu Chengyuan started the car.
“Remember what?”
“That I like hot chocolate.”
“Mm.”
“After all these years, you still remember?”
He was silent for a few seconds.
“Some things can't be forgotten.”
Lin Wan's fingers tightened slightly around the paper cup.
She didn't ask anything else.
Because she was suddenly afraid.
Afraid of asking too much.
Afraid of hearing an answer she shouldn't.
And afraid of discovering that she wasn't the only one who had never truly let go of the past.
The car moved slowly into the rainy night.
Lin Wan watched the view outside.
Streetlights slipped backward one after another.
Rainwater drew long trails across the glass.
Gu Chengyuan didn't take her home right away.
After passing an intersection, he turned onto another street.
Lin Wan glanced over.
“This isn't the way to my place.”
“I know.”
“Then where are you going?”
“To get dinner.”
Lin Wan stared at him.
“I never said I wanted to have dinner with you.”
Gu Chengyuan glanced at her.
“Have you eaten?”
“…Not yet.”
“So?”
Lin Wan was rendered speechless.
“Gu Chengyuan, you weren't this bossy before.”
“Before?”
“At least you used to ask me.”
“I am asking you now.”
Lin Wan frowned.
“How is that asking?”
He finally smiled.
“So, do you want to eat?”
Lin Wan turned her head away.
“No.”
“Okay.”
Gu Chengyuan really did prepare to turn at the next intersection.
Lin Wan blinked.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking you home.”
She suddenly felt as if he had seen right through her.
“I never said I didn't want to eat right now.”
Gu Chengyuan held back a laugh.
“So?”
Lin Wan bit her lip.
“Fine. We can eat.”
“Okay.”
“But not because you forced me.”
“Mm.”
“What are you laughing at?”
“Nothing.”
“Gu Chengyuan.”
“Okay, I'm not laughing anymore.”
But the corners of his mouth were clearly still curved in a smile.
Lin Wan suddenly felt a little annoyed, though she didn't know what exactly she was annoyed about.
Maybe it was because this felt too familiar.
Familiar enough to frighten her.
The way they interacted made it seem as if they had never separated.
Yet they had clearly missed so many years together.
In the end, Gu Chengyuan took her to a small restaurant.
It wasn't upscale, nor was it anywhere particularly famous.
It was simply an ordinary little shop in an alley.
Lin Wan got out of the car and stared at the sign for a moment.
“This place is still here?”
Gu Chengyuan looked at her.
“You remember it?”
“Of course I do.”
The restaurant had once been not far from their university.
They had often come here together in college.
The owner had liked them very much and always smiled as she told them they looked perfect together.
Lin Wan had always gotten shy, while Gu Chengyuan simply sat beside her and watched her smile.
“I thought it had closed a long time ago,” Lin Wan said softly.
“It was remodeled last year.”
“You come here often?”
“Sometimes.”
“Alone?”
“Mm.”
Lin Wan didn't know why, but she suddenly felt a little uncomfortable.
She didn't ask anything else.
They walked into the restaurant.
The interior had changed quite a bit.
The old, weathered wooden tables had been replaced with new ones, and the photographs on the walls had been rearranged.
But some things remained.
Like the little yellow light in the corner.
Like the owner's familiar voice.
“Chengyuan?”
The moment she saw him, the owner broke into a smile.
“What brings you here with someone today?”
Gu Chengyuan said nothing.
Lin Wan felt awkward and said, “We're just friends.”
The words had barely left her mouth when Gu Chengyuan glanced at her.
Lin Wan suddenly felt that she had said it too quickly.
The owner smiled.
“Friends are good, too.”
She turned to get the menus.
“But you two look awfully familiar.”
Lin Wan smiled.
“We used to come here.”
“No wonder.”
The owner seemed to remember something.
“Were you the girl who always used to sit beside him?”
Lin Wan froze.
Gu Chengyuan also looked up.
“I knew it!” The owner smiled even more brightly. “Weren't you two a couple back then?”
The air suddenly went silent.
Lin Wan's smile stiffened.
She didn't know how to answer.
Gu Chengyuan, however, said calmly, “We were.”
Just three words.
We were.
Lin Wan lowered her head.
For some reason, a faint ache rose in her heart.
We were.
The words seemed to mean nothing, yet somehow they drew a line through all the years between them.
The owner also sensed that something was off.
“Oh, never mind that. Let's see what you want to eat.”
After she left, the two of them sat in silence for a long time.
Finally, Lin Wan spoke first.
“How do you still remember this place?”
“Because you liked it.”
Lin Wan looked up.
“I liked it?”
“Every time you finished an exam, you used to say you wanted to come here.”
“That was because it was cheap.”
“Mm.”
“And the portions were big.”
“I know.”
Lin Wan suddenly laughed.
“You remember everything way too clearly.”
Gu Chengyuan didn't answer.
He simply lowered his head and poured some water.
Lin Wan watched his hands.
His fingers were longer and more slender than before, and there were a few unfamiliar marks on them now.
Time really had changed a lot.
They had both grown up.
They had both left their student days behind.
They had both gone through many things the other knew nothing about.
Yet some memories seemed to have been left behind in that place.
The moment they stepped inside again, those memories suddenly came back to life.
The food arrived quickly.
Lin Wan took a bite and couldn't help saying, “It tastes exactly the same.”
“Mm.”
“You used to like this the most.”
“You remember?”
This time, it was Lin Wan's turn to fall silent.
She lowered her head and took a sip of soup.
“Some things can't be forgotten.”
Gu Chengyuan looked up at her.
Their eyes met again.
This time, neither of them looked away right away.
Lin Wan suddenly felt flustered.
She lowered her head.
“Why have you been looking for me lately?”
Gu Chengyuan's hand paused.
“What?”
“Didn't we agree before?”
“Agree on what?”
“After we broke up, we wouldn't bother each other anymore.”
Gu Chengyuan fell silent.
Lin Wan looked at the cup on the table.
“You were the one who agreed to it.”
“I know.”
“And now?”
Gu Chengyuan didn't answer immediately.
The rain was still falling outside.
A very slow song played in the restaurant.
Lin Wan could even hear the sound of her own heartbeat.
After a long while, Gu Chengyuan finally spoke.
“I regret it.”
Her breath caught.
“What?”
“I regret agreeing to it.”
Lin Wan looked up.
Gu Chengyuan gazed at her.
“You said we shouldn't contact each other after we separated.”
“I agreed.”
“But later, I realized that just because you agree to something doesn't mean you can actually do it.”
Lin Wan's eyes suddenly grew hot.
“So that's why you're back now?”
“No.” Gu Chengyuan shook his head. “I've always wanted to come back.”
Lin Wan's hand tightened slightly.
“Then why didn't you?”
She had wanted to ask that question for a very long time.
So long that she had almost forgotten there had always been this question in her heart.
If he hadn't forgotten.
If he had always wanted to come back.
Why hadn't he appeared all these years?
Gu Chengyuan lowered his head.
“Because I didn't know whether you'd still be willing to see me.”
“You could have asked.”
“I was afraid of the answer.”
Lin Wan stared at him.
Gu Chengyuan gave a bitter smile.
“I was afraid you'd tell me you didn't care anymore.”
“I was afraid you'd tell me there was someone else.”
“What I was even more afraid of was that you were truly doing well, and my appearance would only disturb your life.”
Lin Wan suddenly couldn't control her tears.
She immediately lowered her head, not wanting him to see.
But Gu Chengyuan still saw them.
“Lin Wan.”
She didn't answer.
“Look at me.”
“Don't.”
“Lin Wan.”
“I said don't.”
Her voice was choked.
Gu Chengyuan didn't press her again.
He simply sat quietly across from her.
After a while, Lin Wan raised her head.
Her eyes were already red.
“Gu Chengyuan.”
“Mm.”
“Do you know what made me the angriest?”
He said nothing.
“It wasn't that you left.”
“It wasn't that you didn't come back.”
She drew in a breath.
“It was that you didn't tell me anything.”
Gu Chengyuan's expression shifted slightly.
Lin Wan looked at him.
“You suddenly said you wanted to break up.”
“When I asked why, you wouldn't tell me.”
“When I asked if you didn't love me anymore, you wouldn't answer that either.”
“All you ever said was, ‘I'm sorry.’”
She smiled, but it looked worse than crying.
“Do you know how much I hated those words?”
Gu Chengyuan's hand slowly tightened.
“I know.”
“You don't.”
Lin Wan shook her head.
“If you really knew, you wouldn't have left me guessing all these years.”
Gu Chengyuan fell silent.
At last, Lin Wan's tears fell.
“I thought of so many possible reasons.”
“Had I done something wrong?”
“Was I too selfish?”
“Was I not good enough?”
“Or had you really found someone else?”
The more she spoke, the softer her voice became.
“It took me a very long time to convince myself that you hadn't left because I wasn't worthy of being loved.”
Gu Chengyuan's expression finally changed.
It was pain that had been suppressed for a very long time.
“No,” he said. “It was never because you weren't worthy.”
Lin Wan looked at him.
Gu Chengyuan took a deep breath, as if he had finally made a decision he should have made long ago.
“My dad had an accident back then.”
Lin Wan froze.
She had never known.
“He was suddenly hospitalized, and the company ran into trouble, too.”
Gu Chengyuan's voice was low.
“Things at home were a mess during that time.”
“My mom was at the hospital every day.”
“I went to class during the day and the hospital at night.”
“Later, the company's debt problem became more and more serious, and I had no choice but to drop out.”
Lin Wan stared at him blankly.
“But why didn't you tell me?”
Gu Chengyuan smiled faintly.
“Because I felt like such a failure then.”
“I didn't want you to see me like that.”
“And I wanted even less for you to suffer through it with me.”
Lin Wan's tears fell again.
“So you decided for me?”
Gu Chengyuan didn't argue.
“I'm sorry.”
“You're saying that again.”
Lin Wan immediately turned away.
Gu Chengyuan fell silent.
“I don't need your apology,” she said, her eyes red. “I just want to know—if you'd told me back then, would I have hated you so much?”
The moment she said it, Lin Wan herself froze.
Hated.
So she really had hated him.
Not now, but throughout all those years.
On every night she thought of him.
Every time she passed somewhere familiar.
Every time she heard someone mention his name.
She had hated him.
Hated him for leaving so easily.
Hated him for leaving her alone where they had once stood.
But what hurt her even more was this:
He hadn't stopped loving her.
He had been going through pain she knew nothing about.
“Lin Wan.”
Gu Chengyuan suddenly called her.
She didn't look at him.
“If I could do it all over again…”
His voice was soft.
“I wouldn't do that again.”
Lin Wan finally raised her head.
“But there are no do-overs.”
“I know.”
“We've already missed so many years.”
“I know.”
“Whatever you say now can't give those years back to me.”
“I know.”
He answered each sentence without arguing or making excuses for himself.
Lin Wan suddenly didn't know how to continue.
Because she realized she hadn't really wanted an explanation.
She had only wanted to know—during all those years, she hadn't been the only one trapped in their memories.
“What about now?” she asked.
Gu Chengyuan looked at her.
“Now what?”
“Why did you show up again?”
His gaze was very calm.
Calm enough to leave her nowhere to hide.
“Because I don't want to miss you again.”
Lin Wan's heart shook violently.
“But we've already missed each other.”
“Then we'll start from now.”
“Start what?”
Gu Chengyuan was silent for a moment before saying, “Getting to know each other again.”
Lin Wan froze.
She had thought he would say they should start over.
That they should get back together.
That he would say the kind of words no one could refuse, but that would only make her more afraid.
But he didn't.
He only said they should get to know each other again.
Because he knew they weren't the people they had once been.
“I won't force you to come back to me,” Gu Chengyuan said.
“I won't ask you to forgive me right away, either.”
“I only hope you'll get to know the person I am now.”
“If one day you still don't want me…”
He paused.
“I'll accept it.”
Lin Wan looked at him.
She suddenly felt a place inside her slowly loosen.
Maybe the biggest problem between them hadn't been who left.
It was that, back then, they had both believed loving someone meant making decisions for them.
He had thought leaving was protecting her.
She had thought refusing to look back was protecting herself.
In the end, they had both lost each other.
“Gu Chengyuan.”
“Mm.”
“I can't forgive you yet.”
“I know.”
“And I don't know what we'll become in the future.”
“That's okay.”
“Don't expect too much.”
Gu Chengyuan smiled.
“Okay.”
Lin Wan looked at him.
“But…”
He raised his eyes.
She paused for several seconds before slowly saying, “We can start by getting to know each other again.”
Gu Chengyuan didn't answer immediately.
He only looked at her, as if afraid he had heard wrong.
“Really?”
Lin Wan felt a little awkward.
“Didn't you say we should get to know each other again?”
“Mm.”
“Then…let's give it a try.”
The next second, Gu Chengyuan smiled.
It was a smile Lin Wan hadn't seen in a very long time.
Not polite.
Not courteous.
He was genuinely happy.
She suddenly remembered the past.
The first time they had gone out together, he had smiled exactly like that.
Back then, they had thought they had plenty of time.
They had thought that if you loved someone, you could stay together forever.
They had thought every separation was only temporary.
Only after growing up did they understand that the truly frightening thing in life wasn't losing someone.
It was still loving someone, yet missing them because of fear.
At some point, the rain stopped.
By the time they left the restaurant, the sky had gradually cleared.
The ground was still wet.
Streetlights reflected in puddles like shattered starlight.
Gu Chengyuan walked beside her.
He didn't hold her hand or deliberately move closer.
He simply kept a distance that felt just right.
Lin Wan suddenly thought that this was nice, too.
They didn't have to rush back to the way things had been.
They didn't have to hurry to decide their future.
At least for now, they were still standing beside each other.
When they reached the car, Lin Wan suddenly stopped.
“Gu Chengyuan.”
“Mm?”
“What should the first step of getting to know each other again be?”
He looked at her and thought for a moment.
“Dinner?”
Lin Wan laughed.
“Very ordinary.”
“Going to a movie?”
“Even more ordinary.”
“Then you tell me.”
Lin Wan pretended to think.
“Let's start by exchanging new contact information.”
Gu Chengyuan paused, then took out his phone.
Lin Wan took out hers as well.
They added each other again.
They had both had each other's contact information for years, yet it felt like a genuine new beginning.
Gu Chengyuan looked at the new name in his phone.
Lin Wan.
Just two words.
No note attached.
And yet he looked at it for a long time.
“What is it?” Lin Wan asked.
“Nothing.”
“Then why do you keep looking at it?”
Gu Chengyuan raised his head.
“It just feels like we're really getting to know each other again.”
Lin Wan said nothing.
She simply turned her head toward the distance.
The city after the rain was quiet.
The air carried a faint dampness.
She suddenly remembered a saying.
Some people didn't fail to come.
They just came too late.
So late that you thought you no longer needed them.
So late that you had learned how to live alone.
So late that you no longer dared to believe the person you'd lost could come back.
But sometimes, the person who's truly right for you doesn't appear at the very beginning.
They appear only after you've endured loss, regret, growth, and pain—and finally learned how to love someone properly.
Lin Wan got into the car.
Gu Chengyuan closed the door for her.
She looked at him through the window and suddenly smiled.
Gu Chengyuan paused.
“What are you smiling at?”
Lin Wan shook her head.
“Nothing.”
She simply felt, all of a sudden, that perhaps someone who arrived late could still be right on time.
But this time, she wouldn't hand over her heart so easily.
And he would have to learn that not every love could be protected by walking away.
The car drove into the night again.
This time, they didn't talk about the past or the future.
They only exchanged a few occasional, inconsequential words.
Yet Lin Wan realized that some relationships didn't need to immediately return to their most intimate state.
As long as they were willing to draw close again,
willing to slowly finish saying all the words they had left unspoken,
willing not to turn and walk away the next time they faced hardship,
then perhaps the people who had once missed each other truly still had a chance
to find their way back to each other's side.
The car stopped beneath her apartment building.
Lin Wan unfastened her seat belt and was about to get out when Gu Chengyuan suddenly called her.
“Lin Wan.”
“Mm?”
“Good night.”
She paused.
“That’s it?”
“What else?”
“You used to say a lot more.”
Gu Chengyuan smiled.
“I was less mature back then.”
Lin Wan looked at him.
“What about now?”
“Now I think some things are better said slowly.”
She suddenly understood what he meant.
Some things didn't need to be rushed.
Some answers didn't have to be found right away.
So she nodded.
“Okay.”
She pushed open the car door.
After walking two steps, she looked back.
Gu Chengyuan was still sitting in the car, watching her.
Lin Wan stood in the night and suddenly said to him, “Gu Chengyuan.”
“Mm?”
“Today counts as day one.”
His gaze shifted slightly.
“Day one?”
“The first day of getting to know each other again.”
After saying that, she didn't wait for his reply and turned to walk into the building.
Only after the elevator doors slowly closed did Lin Wan lean against the wall and let out a long breath.
Her heart was still beating fast.
But this time, she wasn't sad because she thought of him.
Nor did she cry herself sleepless over the past.
She simply began to look forward to things.
To seeing him again.
To getting to know again the person she had once known best.
And to the day when they could both truly let go of all the years they had missed.
Then, standing in a new moment in time, they could answer that question again:
If the people we are now met once more, would we still choose each other?
This time, perhaps neither of them needed to answer right away.
Because the story had only just begun.
The one who had truly arrived late wasn't him.
It was the two of them finally learning
how to love someone properly at the right time.