You can be bad at your job. You're new. You can make mistakes, you can get called out.
But she wasn't a kindergartner — the last thing Hana wanted was to cry just because someone corrected her…
She'd been stewing in irritation at herself all day, replaying yesterday over and over.
She'd wanted to take the feedback without flinching. That was the right way to handle it, she'd told herself. New employees learn by getting things wrong. She'd wanted to say, *"I see where I went wrong. Thank you for pointing it out — I'll fix it,"* and mean it, without a scratch on her.
She figured that even if you weren't great at the job yet, that kind of attitude was enough. Owning your mistakes and staying open to learning — that was something to respect.
But Hana didn't even have that.
Every word Eunyoung said felt like it was chipping something away.
*— This is just organizing for the sake of organizing.*
*— Junhwi even said the same thing at your new hire presentation.*
*— You spent all your time on stuff that doesn't matter, and the materials that actually needed to be there are missing.*
*— Do you understand what I'm saying?*
If she'd watched someone else receive that feedback, Hana would have thought, *That's a totally normal mistake to make.* She wouldn't have written that person off as incompetent.
But when the feedback was aimed at her, she couldn't receive it that objectively. Eunyoung's words sharpened as they entered her ears, turning into something laced with contempt and accusation.
*This is just organizing for the sake of organizing. How do you work without thinking? You're getting paid for this — is this really okay? Junhwi said the same thing. Can't you understand something the first time? Why do I have to give you the same feedback twice? Is there something wrong with your ability to learn? The materials that actually matter aren't even there. You don't have the basics down. Everyone else can do this — what's your excuse? You do understand what I'm saying, right?*
It was like Hana had a translator wired into her brain, purpose-built to twist everything into the worst possible version — and it was running in real time.
She knew Eunyoung wasn't trying to tear her down. She knew the whole point was just to make the work better. She knew all of that, and it still happened.
Honestly, even if Eunyoung really did think those things privately, Hana couldn't argue. It would be fair. None of it was wrong.
*— Let's wrap this up in an hour and get out of here. Sound good? You've got this, you've got this!*
Hana had wanted to fire back a breezy *you've got this too* and mean it.
But her throat was already full — grief and tears packed in so tight there was no room for anything else.
She didn't want to be the person who fell apart over a little criticism. (Not even real criticism, if she was being honest.) Being a deflated, mopey new hire was already pathetic enough.
Especially in front of Eunyoung.
They were around the same age. But the gap in ability was enormous. In terms of title alone — Hana was brand new, and Eunyoung was already a team lead.
Hana pretended not to care about Eunyoung at all. Pretended not to see her as any kind of competition. When people asked if she was jealous, she'd laugh it off: *"Jealous? She's a team lead. The gap has to be a lot smaller before jealousy even kicks in."*
But the truth was, she cared desperately. She was convinced that everyone around her was thinking, *Hana's around the same age as Eunyoung and she's so far behind. She must feel terrible about herself. Poor thing.* And the fact that it was true made the anger burn hotter.
Sometimes Hana ground her teeth and thought: *If I'd grown up with parents who invested in me the way yours did, with all that support — I could've been so much further ahead than you.*
But she also knew those thoughts were useless. She knew that kind of *what if* meant nothing.
What had Eunyoung done wrong? She was born to good parents, got a good education, and was out here working hard. That was it.
When Hana let herself think that way, she ended up hating herself. Resenting someone else's luck. Blaming her parents at this age. She looked pathetic to herself.
She'd barely held the tears back in front of Eunyoung, and the moment Eunyoung turned away, she walked out of the office.
That was when she ran straight into Junhwi.
He'd noticed something was off. She could tell.
Hana pressed her lips together and headed for the emergency stairwell.
*Of all the people to run into.* She thought her luck couldn't be worse.
But at the same time, something small and quiet lifted inside her.
Maybe she'd wanted someone to see her like this. To see how hard things were, how much she was holding in. She couldn't say it out loud to anyone — complaining about how rough things were wasn't something adults did. But maybe she'd been hoping to get caught.
Junhwi followed her to the stairwell, just as she'd half-expected. He sat beside her while she cried and kept talking, kept pulling her back.
*— I'm not saying this to make you feel better. It's just true — everyone has blind spots when it comes to their own work.*
*— There are hard stretches and easier ones. Things you can't do yet and things you're already good at. That's just how it goes.*
*— I'm going to be completely objective and unsentimental about this: you are fine right now.*
*— The mistakes you're making are mistakes everyone makes. The things you can't do yet are things everyone struggles with.*
It was like he'd stepped inside her head, looked around, and come back out knowing exactly what she needed to hear. He said all the things she'd been desperate to hear.
It was almost embarrassing, how well he understood her. *He's already been through all of this, and I'm still flailing around in it,* she thought.
At the same time, his words were so warm, so comforting, that she didn't want to question whether they were true. She just wanted to believe them. That she was doing okay. That there was nothing wrong with her…
She was so grateful for it that she almost thought: *Good thing I cried. Good thing he caught me.*
But there were things in what he said that still poked at her.
*— Even Eunyoung has blind spots in her own work.*
*— It's hard, isn't it? Nothing makes sense. And it feels like you'll never be as good as Eunyoung.*
Why did he keep bringing up Eunyoung? Why the comparison? Was Eunyoung just the symbol of competence in his head? Or was he comparing the two of them without even realizing it?
She knew he meant well. She knew he was saying it to help her. And still, irritation kept flaring up without warning.
*How deep in my own insecurity do I have to be to get this prickly over every little thing?*
Hana was exhausted by herself.
After Junhwi left, she used the card he'd given her to buy the sweetest drink on the café menu. She asked them to pile on the whipped cream.
The cold sweetness hit her system, and she thought: *Why did I even cry over something like that?*
*Maybe I just needed sugar,* she thought.
She regretted throwing away the cookies she'd made for Junhwi.
He was such a good person. And she'd taken out her frustration on him just because he'd been honest with her.
*What is wrong with me…*
The next morning, Hana handed him a shopping bag as soon as she got in.
"Junhwi — about yesterday… thank you."
"Oh, come on, I didn't really do anything… Can I open it?"
"Oh, yeah, go ahead."
"Sugar-free cookies?"
"Yeah. They taste pretty much the same as regular ones, though."
"I thought I was hiding the weight gain. Guess I was just telling myself what I wanted to hear."
Junhwi made a dejected face.
Hana laughed.
"No, no — that's not why I got those. But wait — you have gained weight? Huh. That explains it…"
"That explains it? Wow, that's harsh."
Hana and Junhwi looked at each other and laughed.
"Hana."
Eunyoung appeared out of nowhere, walking toward them. Neither of them had noticed her.
*Where did she come from…? I checked — the break room was empty a minute ago…*
Eunyoung stopped in front of Hana.
"Actually — that gum you gave me the other day. Was that because my breath smelled?"
"Sorry…?"
She seemed to be riffing off their conversation, joining in on the joke. The two of them had been in such a warm, easy groove just a moment ago… and now Eunyoung felt like an interruption.
Hana played along, keeping it light.
"Oh — ahaha. No, of course not. Ha ha ha…"
Junhwi caught the vibe and matched the energy.
"Hana, you're a repeat offender."
Eunyoung smiled, looking satisfied.
*Right. I'll smile too. Just smile.*
Eunyoung wasn't the type who struggled to connect with people. She didn't get nervous around strangers, and she could hold a conversation without missing a beat.
But getting past that — building the kind of closeness where you drop the formality, where you'd actually hang out on a weekend — that rarely happened for her. Some people spent their days off with coworkers. Eunyoung didn't have anyone like that.
Her philosophy had always been: as long as you get along well enough to work together, that's sufficient. So she'd never really tried for more. But she'd always assumed that if she wanted to, she could get close to anyone at the office.
*I just haven't bothered. If I actually tried, I'd be great at it.*
She decided she was going to be the kind of team lead Junhwi was — someone who traded jokes with people, who made them feel at ease. If she could do that, she figured, fewer people would walk away from her feedback feeling hurt or accused.
"Oh — Hana!"
Hana was waiting for the elevator on the first floor.
She looked over.
Eunyoung waved, going for warm and approachable.
For just a moment, Hana's eyes flickered. The unfamiliar greeting caught her off guard. In that split second, Eunyoung could practically see her thinking: *Should I wave back? No — she's my senior, I should be more formal about this.*
Hana hesitated like a buffering screen and gave a small bow instead.
*Maybe the wave was a little premature.*
Eunyoung admitted to herself that she'd moved too fast.
*It's fine. I can recover with conversation.*
"Just getting back from lunch?"
"Yeah. Did you eat, Eunyoung?"
"No — I had a meeting that landed right in the middle of lunch, of all times."
"Oh… you must be starving."
"I'm grabbing a coffee from downstairs and heading back up."
"Ah…"
The conversation stalled. An awkward silence settled in.
Eunyoung felt a small flicker of anxiety.
*Hana doesn't feel like this when she talks to Junhwi…*
The elevator arrived.
The doors opened, and Junhwi was inside.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Just getting back from lunch?"
"Yeah."
Eunyoung wanted to show Junhwi she could do this — that she had the social ease for it.
She turned back to Hana.
"What did you have for lunch?"
"Oh, I went to that sandwich place across the street."
"Oh, that place is so good."
"Yeah, it was pretty solid."
"What did you get?"
"Um — the mentaiko avocado sandwich."
Finding common ground, shared tastes — that was the foundation of small talk.
Eunyoung leaned into it, letting her voice go a little warmer than usual.
"That's literally my favorite thing on the menu."
"Really?"
"Yes. Completely. The avocado is so creamy and rich, and the mentaiko is perfectly salty. And there's that drizzle of mayo on top — it's so good."
"Oh… yeah, it was really good."
"You got that. That's the best possible lunch. You had a great afternoon."
"Ahaha… yeah, it was a good meal."
"Have you tried their fresh-squeezed orange juice? The sweet-tart balance is insane. If you get two, I think it's like a dollar off or something."
"I… actually got that too."
"Oh, you did! Hana, I think we might be on the same wavelength. You have good taste. Ugh, I'm so hungry just thinking about it. I'm jealous~"
The elevator doors opened. Junhwi and Eunyoung stepped out. But Hana stayed where she was.
Eunyoung looked back. "You're not getting off?"
"I'll be right back."
"…With what?"
"The mentaiko avocado sandwich and the orange juice."
"Why?"
"For you."
"For me? Why would you—"
Before Eunyoung could finish, the elevator doors slid shut.
She jabbed the button quickly, but the elevator was already gone.
She stood there with an expression that said: *That's not what I meant.*
"Eunyoung."
She turned at the sound of Junhwi's voice.
He was visibly trying not to smile.
"Want to stop by the break room for a second?"