The package arrived on Thursday. A plain cardboard box. Sender: R. Jakarta.
Nadia opened it while the kids were napping. Inside was a notebook. Its cover was already worn. A small jasmine flower was drawn in the corner, seemingly there to decorate the cover.
Nadia could hardly believe she was about to open those pages of pain again. After all this time, she had kept them hidden—to forget them. Yet somehow, they had returned without explanation.
Her hands trembled as she opened the first page. Her own handwriting. October 17.
`Today he helped me until eleven. He said, "You don't have to thank me." I admired him even more, but... I can't.`
The next page. `It's his birthday. I made him instant noodles. He laughed. His eyes looked like crescent moons. I saved his smile in my mind.`
And so on, until forty pages had been neatly filled. Everything was about Revan. Things she'd never told anyone.
Nadia closed the book quickly. Her heart nearly stopped. "Oh God... how could it have ended up with him..."
That night, her husband came home early. "What's this?" he asked, pointing at the box on the table.
"A package," Nadia answered nervously. "From a friend."
"Which friend? Why isn't there a full name?"
Nadia didn't answer. She hurriedly put the book in a drawer.
But her husband saw her. "What book is that?"
"An old book. A recipe book." She was lying.
Her husband fell silent. But his eyes were searching.
Two days later.
Her husband came home with some fruit. "I ran into Revan at the office today." Nadia, who had been sweeping, stopped immediately. "Oh."
"He said he was taking care of the marriage paperwork," her husband continued. "But he looked troubled."
"He asked about you, too. How many kids you have, whether you still cook the same things."
Nadia pretended to laugh. "Come on, he was probably just making conversation." Inside, she wondered: _What exactly did he ask..._
That week, her husband started spending more time at home. No staying late at work. No going out with friends.
"Keeping my wife company," he said as he watched Nadia cook.
Nadia felt like she was being watched. While she did the laundry, while she swept, while she was on the phone.
One night. "Honey," her husband said in bed. "Are you happy with me?"
Nadia was startled. "Why are you asking that?"
"Just asking. We've been married for seven years. I'm afraid you'll get bored."
Nadia held her husband's hand. "I'm happy. Why?"
"No reason. It's just... you've been daydreaming a lot lately."
Nadia closed her eyes. Lying again, she said, "I'm only human, Mas. Sometimes I'm tired, too. Besides, the kids are getting more active, so I barely have any time to rest."
One day, a call came in on Nadia's phone. An unknown number.
"Assalamualaikum, Nadia. It's Revan."
Nadia immediately declined the call. Her heart nearly stopped.
Five minutes later, her husband asked, "Who was calling?"
"An insurance salesman," Nadia answered, breaking into a cold sweat. Her husband nodded. But he took a quick glance at Nadia's phone.
That night, her husband sat in the living room. For a long time. "Honey, we need to talk." Nadia sat down. Her heart pounding. "Are you still in contact with Revan?"
Straight to the point. Nadia shook her head. "No. Why?" "Because I've seen how you've changed since he came. And because I found this."
Her husband pulled out a piece of paper. A Polaroid. `11:17 p.m. - Fourth Bowl of Noodles` A photo of Nadia and Revan laughing in the kitchen.
"I found it in the guest room drawer while I was cleaning," her husband said softly. "Explain."
Nadia's world stopped. That was the photo she'd thought Revan had thrown away.
"This... this is old, Mas. From five years ago," Nadia said. Her voice broke.
"Yeah, I know," her husband said. "What I'm asking is, why are you still keeping it? And why did he send your notebook back to you?"
Nadia couldn't answer. Tears fell from her eyes.
Her husband stood up. He walked to the kitchen, exhaling roughly.
Nadia hurried after him. "Mas, listen to me—" "Enough," her husband cut her off. "I'm not angry. I just want the truth. What's going on between you and Revan?"
Nadia closed her eyes. "I... I don't know."