# Chapter 4
So, Are You Two Still Dating?
Keira woke up to thirty-two notifications.
Twelve from the class group chat.
Eight from the journalism group chat.
Four from Tasya.
Six from Celine.
One from Farah.
And one from Jovan.
Keira didn't open the last one right away.
She chose Tasya's messages first.
Tasya: Wake up.
Tasya: Don't open @TheNextHallway yet.
Tasya: I'm serious.
Tasya: Keira.
Keira closed her eyes.
Experience had taught her one important thing.
When someone said don't open something, there was usually something very bad waiting to be seen.
She opened Instagram.
Last night's post was still there.
Jovan's comment had already gotten hundreds of likes.
Someone had screenshotted the comment and reposted it with the caption:
EX WHO'S STILL PROTECTIVE?
Keira closed the app.
It hadn't even been a minute.
Record time.
She opened Farah's message.
Farah: If anyone asks anything weird today, don't respond.
Then Celine's.
Celine: I HAVE A THEORY.
Celine: The @TheNextHallway admin is someone from our junior class.
Celine: Or the janitor.
Celine: Because they know every place.
Celine: Or a human security camera.
Keira snorted softly.
Then, finally, she opened the last message.
Jovan: You up?
Sent at 6:02 a.m.
It was now 6:37 a.m.
Keira sent a short reply.
Keira: Yeah.
Jovan read it immediately.
Jovan: Good.
Keira: Why?
The typing indicator appeared.
Jovan: No reason.
Keira stared at the screen.
Keira: You texted me at six in the morning just to ask if I was awake?
Jovan: Yep.
Keira: Weird.
Jovan: You replied.
Keira stopped typing.
Annoying.
She was about to put her phone down when another message came in.
Jovan: Don't forget to eat.
Keira stared at those four words for a long time.
Then she replied:
Keira: You too.
The screen didn't go dark right away.
Jovan was typing.
Jovan: Noted.
That was it.
A simple conversation.
Nothing important.
It shouldn't have made Keira feel even slightly better.
And yet, for some reason, her breakfast tasted a little less bland that morning.
The situation at school was the exact opposite.
The moment Keira got out of the car, she knew it was going to be a long day.
Two tenth-grade girls whispered while looking at her.
A boy from the class next door gave her a weird smile.
Then, when Keira reached the second-floor hallway, she heard someone humming,
"My ex still loves me..."
Keira stopped.
The voice instantly disappeared.
She turned around.
Three boys were standing by the window.
One of them pretended to cough.
Keira stared at them for a few seconds.
"If you're going to sing, at least get it right."
All three went silent.
Keira kept walking.
Tasya, waiting outside the classroom, greeted her with a little round of applause.
"Damn."
"What?"
"I'm proud of you."
"Why?"
"You usually just stay quiet."
Keira set down her bag.
"I'm too lazy today."
"Too lazy to stay quiet?"
"Too lazy to be patient."
Celine appeared from inside the classroom.
"Now that's the Keira I know."
Farah followed behind her.
"Don't encourage her."
Celine ignored her.
"Kei, did you know Jovan's comment already—"
"I don't want to know."
"—has eight hundred likes."
Keira closed her eyes.
"Celine."
"Important information."
"No."
Tasya pulled Celine away.
"That's enough."
Celine still managed to whisper, "But it's kind of romantic."
Keira picked up a book.
"I heard that."
"Good."
Keira stared at her.
Celine immediately fled to the back row.
Jovan arrived early.
That was even more surprising than yesterday's gossip.
Bima checked the time.
Then he looked at Jovan.
Then he checked the time again.
"Who are you?"
Jovan set down his bag.
"Why?"
"It's five till seven."
"So?"
"You're already in class."
"And?"
Dito came in carrying a carton of milk.
The moment he saw Jovan, he stopped in the doorway.
"Oh my God."
Jovan sighed.
"What now?"
Dito pointed at him.
"Is this what heartbreak does to you?"
"I'll throw this at you."
Galen sat down and opened his book.
"Or maybe it's what happens when someone tells you not to be late."
Bima immediately turned around.
Jovan said nothing.
Dito slowly smiled.
"Well, well."
"What does that mean?"
"Who told you?"
"No one."
Bima sat on Jovan's desk.
"Keira?"
Jovan shoved his thigh.
"Get down."
"It was Keira, wasn't it?"
"None of your business."
"So it was."
Jovan opened his book.
Dito leaned closer too.
"Van."
Jovan didn't respond.
"Van."
"What?"
Dito held up his phone.
"You know your comment from last night went viral?"
Jovan looked at him immediately.
"Went viral for what?"
Dito showed him the screen.
There was a screenshot of Jovan's comment from @TheNextHallway.
Someone had even added background music and huge text:
WHEN YOUR EX STILL DEFENDS YOU
Jovan closed his eyes.
"People really have nothing better to do."
Bima laughed.
"You're the one who commented."
"I was just setting the record straight."
"Why did it have to be you?"
Jovan took Dito's phone and set it facedown on the desk.
"Because the admin is annoying."
Galen looked at him.
"Or because of Keira."
Jovan was silent.
Bima nodded.
"There it is."
"What?"
"You didn't deny it."
"I don't feel like arguing."
"You usually deny everything."
"Just shut up."
Dito laughed.
But a few seconds later, Bima grew serious.
"Van."
"Hm?"
"Do you realize that the more you defend Keira, the more people think you two aren't really over?"
Jovan didn't answer immediately.
He stared at the page of the book he hadn't even started reading.
"So?"
Bima raised an eyebrow.
"So what?"
"If they think that, why does it matter?"
Bima fell silent.
Jovan had only just realized what his own answer implied.
He quickly lowered his head.
"I mean, it's up to them."
Bima gave him a small smile.
"Of course."
Jovan threw an eraser at him.
During second break, Keira went to the Media Room.
Ms. Melinda was already inside, arranging several folders on the desk.
Devin was sitting in the chair by the door.
The moment Keira walked in, he raised a hand.
"Morning."
Keira looked at the wall clock.
"It's almost noon."
"Still morning to someone who just transferred here."
Keira smiled.
"Where'd you get that theory?"
"Made it up myself."
Ms. Melinda turned around.
"Oh, Keira. Perfect timing."
Keira walked over.
"What's up, ma'am?"
"Show Devin how we work, okay? He just signed up."
Keira nodded.
"Okay."
Devin stood up.
"Yes, senior."
"Don't call me that."
"Why not?"
"We're probably the same age."
"Okay, boss."
"That's worse."
Devin laughed.
Keira showed him around the Media Room, the documentation folders, drive access, task assignments, and publication calendar.
Devin caught on quickly.
He also asked a lot of questions.
Not too many.
He wasn't trying too hard to be friendly.
He was pretty likable.
Keira started to understand why someone like Devin could fit into a new environment so quickly.
"So I'll probably handle articles and photos?" he asked.
"Yeah. We'll see what we need later."
"Okay."
Keira opened her laptop.
"For Student Voice Week, we're putting together coverage of the games."
"The one you worked on yesterday with..."
Devin stopped.
Keira looked over.
"With?"
Devin tried to remember.
"That guy."
"Jovan."
"Right."
Keira nodded.
"He's the field coordinator."
"Oh."
Devin sat down at the side of the desk.
"You two close?"
Keira stopped typing.
A simple question.
But now almost every question about Jovan felt like a land mine.
"We know each other."
Devin raised an eyebrow.
"That's all?"
Keira looked at him.
"Why do you ask?"
"Because yesterday felt like I walked into a room where two people were fighting."
Keira almost laughed.
"We were arguing."
"Then he looked at me like I'd just stolen his motorcycle."
Keira actually laughed this time.
"You're exaggerating."
"I'm serious."
"It wasn't that bad."
"You didn't see his face."
Keira tried to picture Jovan's expression from yesterday.
Unfortunately, it was too easy.
Devin leaned back in his chair.
"So..."
Keira already had a bad feeling.
"...are you two still dating?"
The door opened right after he finished asking.
Keira turned around.
And of course.
Jovan stood there.
Carrying a folder.
His gaze moved from Devin to Keira.
Then back to Devin.
Silence.
Devin, unaware that he was standing in the middle of a minefield, smiled instead.
"Perfect timing."
Keira wanted to disappear.
Jovan walked in.
"Perfect timing for what?"
Devin pointed at Keira.
"I was asking if you two were still dating."
Keira closed her eyes.
This was it.
Jovan stopped in front of the desk.
His eyes met Keira's.
For a split second, Keira hoped Jovan would make a joke.
Or dodge the question.
Or say something to make the situation less awkward.
He did none of those things.
"No," Jovan said.
One word.
Quick.
Definite.
Keira didn't know why it felt like something inside her chest dropped.
Jovan set down the folder.
"We broke up."
The second sentence was much worse.
Keira looked back at her laptop.
Right.
That was the truth.
Why did hearing it hurt?
Devin nodded.
"That explains it."
Jovan looked at him.
"Explains what?"
"Yesterday's vibes."
Keira quickly cut in.
"Dev, did you find the photo folder?"
"Yeah."
"Good. Can you check last year's game photos?"
Devin looked at Keira.
Then at Jovan.
He seemed smart enough to realize the conversation from before should end there.
"Okay."
He picked up another laptop.
Jovan sat in the chair across from Keira.
Keira didn't look at him.
He placed the folder he had brought on the desk.
"Game schedule."
"Okay."
"It's final."
"Mm-hm."
Jovan stared at Keira for a few seconds.
"Kei."
"What?"
"What's wrong?"
Keira finally looked up.
"What's wrong with what?"
"Why are you suddenly being so cold?"
"I'm acting normal."
"No, you're not."
Devin bent even lower over his screen.
Keira held her breath.
"We're working."
Jovan nodded slowly.
"Okay."
Keira went back to typing.
But the next five minutes were intensely uncomfortable.
Devin occasionally asked about a folder.
Keira answered.
Jovan explained a schedule change.
Keira took notes.
Not one of them had a personal conversation.
Until Devin stood up.
"I'm going to the co-op. Anyone want me to get them anything?"
"No," Keira answered.
Jovan shook his head.
The moment Devin left, Keira hoped Jovan would keep quiet too.
That hope was wasted.
"What's wrong with you?"
Keira exhaled.
"Nothing's wrong."
"Is it because of my answer?"
Keira looked straight at him.
"What answer?"
"Back there."
Keira gave a short laugh.
"Why would I have a problem with your answer?"
"That's what I'm asking too."
"It was the truth."
"Yeah."
"So?"
"So nothing."
"Fine."
Keira looked back at her laptop.
Jovan was still staring at her.
"Kei."
"What now?"
"What did you want me to say?"
Keira stopped.
That was a question he shouldn't have asked.
Worse, she had an answer she could never say out loud.
I don't know.
Maybe she wanted Jovan to hesitate.
Maybe she wanted him not to answer so quickly.
Maybe she wanted something to prove that their relationship still mattered.
Ridiculous.
"You can answer however you want."
"I answered honestly."
"Yeah."
"Then why are you upset?"
"I'm not upset."
"You rarely look at people when you're upset."
Keira turned sharply toward him.
"You think you know everything."
Jovan was quiet for a moment.
Then he said softly,
"I still know you."
Keira froze.
Jovan rested both hands on the desk.
"Six days isn't enough to make me forget your habits."
Keira stared at him.
"Besides..." Jovan stopped.
"What?"
He looked away.
"Never mind."
"If you've started talking, don't stop halfway."
Jovan chuckled.
"I thought we were working."
"Jovan."
"Okay."
He looked at Keira again.
"Are you two still dating?"
Jovan repeated Devin's question.
Keira didn't answer.
"If I say yes, that's wrong."
"Obviously."
"If I say no, you get upset."
"I don't—"
"So what am I supposed to say?"
Keira fell silent.
Jovan waited.
Finally, Keira said,
"I don't know."
Her voice was softer.
Jovan fell silent too.
Several seconds passed.
Then he said,
"If she asked whether I still loved you, the answer would be different."
Keira held her breath.
The atmosphere in the room changed completely.
There was no sound except the little fan in the corner and the faint noise of traffic outside.
Keira knew she shouldn't ask.
But her mouth moved before she could stop it.
"What would the answer be?"
Jovan didn't answer right away.
His eyes never left Keira.
"You already know."
Keira felt her heartbeat growing louder.
"No, I don't."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure."
Jovan smiled faintly.
It wasn't a mischievous smile.
It wasn't mocking.
That was exactly what made Keira nervous.
"I still love you."
Simple.
No long speech.
No explanation.
But it was enough to empty Keira's mind completely.
Jovan continued,
"I just don't know whether that still matters to you."
Keira couldn't answer right away.
Fortunately, the door opened.
Devin came back carrying three drinks.
He stopped when he saw the two people in front of him.
"Wow."
Keira immediately looked down.
Jovan leaned back.
Devin looked between them.
"I messed up the timing again?"
"No," Keira answered too quickly.
Jovan said instead, "Yeah."
Keira glared at him.
Jovan looked perfectly calm.
Devin raised both hands.
"Okay. I'll pretend I didn't hear anything from the hallway."
Keira froze.
"What?"
Devin gave an awkward smile.
"Not much."
Jovan looked at him.
"How much?"
Devin sat down.
"The part where..."
He pointed at Jovan.
"...you still love her."
Keira covered her face with both hands.
"Great."
Jovan just laughed.
Devin set one of the drinks beside Keira.
"As an apology."
Keira peeked through her fingers.
"I didn't order this."
"It was free from the co-op."
Jovan looked at the cup.
"Free?"
Devin nodded.
"They made the wrong one."
"What?"
"Vanilla."
Jovan said immediately, "She doesn't like vanilla."
Keira and Devin both turned to him.
Jovan realized what he'd said.
He shrugged.
"What?"
Devin looked at Keira.
"You don't like vanilla?"
Keira nodded.
Devin took the cup back.
"Okay. It's mine."
Then he smiled faintly.
"So he really does still remember."
Keira glared at him.
"Dev."
"What?"
"Work."
"Yes, boss."
Jovan held back a laugh.
Keira hoped the floor of the Media Room would open up and swallow her.
That afternoon, Devin sat with Keira in front of the auditorium to sort through old photos.
Jovan was about twenty meters away, arranging the field equipment with Bima.
Keira knew because she'd already glanced in that direction four times.
Five.
"Do you still like him too?"
Keira nearly dropped the mouse.
She turned around.
Devin was still looking at the laptop screen.
"Why is everyone asking personal questions today?"
"I'm curious."
"Don't be."
"Okay."
Devin actually stopped.
Keira ended up feeling guilty.
A few minutes later, she said,
"Sorry."
Devin looked over.
"Why?"
"I'm a little sensitive right now."
"I can tell."
Keira glared at him.
Devin laughed.
"Relax. I don't mind."
He looked back at the screen.
"I don't know your history, either."
"Good."
"But from the outside..."
Keira looked at him.
Devin raised a hand.
"Can I say something?"
Keira hesitated.
Then nodded.
"You two look like two people whose relationship status says broken up, but whose habits haven't caught up yet."
Keira didn't answer.
Devin continued,
"And he looks like he wants to punch me every time I sit next to you."
Keira laughed softly.
"He's not like that."
"You sure?"
Keira glanced toward the field.
Jovan was talking to Bima.
As if sensing her gaze, he turned around.
Their eyes met.
Jovan looked at Devin.
Then at Keira.
His expression shifted slightly.
Devin nodded slowly.
"See?"
Keira quickly looked back at the laptop.
"Shut up."
"I didn't say anything."
"Who is he, anyway?"
Bima looked toward the person Jovan had been watching for the past five minutes.
"Who?"
"The new kid."
Bima followed his gaze.
Devin was sitting with Keira.
"Oh."
Jovan picked up a coil of cable.
"Oh, what?"
"Devin."
"You know his name?"
"Everyone knows. New kid in XI-5."
Jovan stopped.
"XI-5?"
"Yeah."
"Why'd he join journalism?"
Bima stared at him.
"Because he wanted to?"
Jovan clicked his tongue.
"I was just asking."
Bima grinned.
"Jealous?"
"No."
"You've been watching them nonstop."
"I'm watching the field."
"Is Keira part of the field?"
Jovan turned sharply toward him.
Bima laughed.
"Van, relax."
"I'm relaxed."
"You're holding that cable like you're about to strangle someone with it."
Jovan looked down at his hand.
He set the cable down.
"I just don't trust the new kid."
"Why?"
"I don't know."
"Because he's close to Keira."
Jovan didn't answer.
Bima sighed.
"You realize you're already broken up, right?"
"Does everyone love reminding me?"
"Because you're not acting like someone who's broken up."
Jovan looked toward Keira again.
This time, Keira was laughing at something Devin had said.
Jovan clenched his jaw.
Bima saw his expression and looked over too.
"If you don't want her getting close to someone else, you can't just stand here."
Jovan turned to him.
"What are you saying?"
"Fix things between you two."
"She was the one who broke up with me."
"So?"
"She doesn't trust me."
"So?"
"I don't want to pressure her."
Bima nodded.
"Good."
Jovan frowned.
"What's good about it?"
"Don't pressure her."
Bima picked up a ball lying on the ground.
"But don't expect Keira to wait around until you get over your pride, either."
Jovan fell silent.
Bima walked away.
Jovan looked at Keira again.
This time, she was looking down at the laptop.
Devin was beside her.
Close.
Too close, as far as Jovan was concerned.
He exhaled.
Damn it.
Near the end of the day, Keira went back to the classroom to get the book she'd left behind.
The hallway was already empty.
She had just finished putting the book in her bag when someone appeared in the doorway.
Jovan.
"What?"
Jovan walked in.
"I was looking for you."
"Why?"
"Devin."
Keira immediately frowned.
"What about Devin?"
"Does he like you?"
Keira stared at Jovan in disbelief.
"What?"
"Does he like you?"
"We've only known each other for two days."
"That doesn't mean it's impossible."
Keira gave a short laugh.
"Are you serious?"
Jovan stood by the front desk.
"Yes."
"Why do you care?"
"Because..."
Jovan stopped.
Keira waited.
"Because what?"
"I don't know."
"Great."
Keira picked up her bag.
"Move."
Jovan didn't move.
"Kei."
"What?"
"I said I still love you."
Keira froze.
Jovan looked straight at her.
"You haven't answered me."
"I don't have to answer."
"I know."
"Then?"
"I just want to know."
Keira gripped the strap of her bag tighter.
Jovan continued softly,
"Do you still love me or not?"
The question had finally come.
The question they had avoided ever since the breakup.
Keira looked at the face of the boy she'd known for almost two years.
The person who made her laugh.
The person who made her angry.
The person who made her feel safe.
And the person who had made her feel betrayed more successfully than anyone else.
"I don't know."
Jovan lowered his head for a moment.
Keira could see the small flicker of disappointment on his face.
"But," Keira continued.
Jovan looked back at her.
Keira took a breath.
"I still can't see you as a stranger."
Jovan didn't move.
"When you're hurt, I still worry about you. When you're late, I still notice. When you talk to other girls..."
Keira stopped.
Jovan raised an eyebrow.
"What about it?"
"Nothing."
"Kei."
"I don't want to continue."
Jovan smiled.
"You're jealous?"
Keira immediately walked past him.
"Keira."
"Shut up."
Jovan followed her.
"You're jealous?"
"No."
"That was a fast answer."
Keira stopped.
Jovan stopped too.
Keira turned around.
"You're really happy about this?"
Jovan held back a smile.
"A little."
"You're so annoying."
"I know."
Keira started walking again.
This time, Jovan didn't follow her.
But before Keira reached the end of the hallway, she heard his voice.
"Kei."
Keira turned around.
Jovan stood several feet away.
"About why we broke up..."
Keira's smile disappeared.
"...I still want to explain."
Keira fell silent.
Jovan continued,
"Not so you'll get back together with me right away."
His voice was much more serious.
"I just don't want you to keep believing in something I never did."
Nadine's name immediately appeared in Keira's mind.
The photo.
The messages.
The meeting that had never been explained.
All the reasons she'd finally said enough six days ago.
Keira gripped her bag strap.
"What if I don't want to hear it?"
Jovan gave a small nod.
"I'll wait until you do."
"What if you never do?"
Jovan fell silent.
Then he answered,
"Then I'll still wait."
Keira couldn't respond.
For the first time, there were no jokes.
No teasing.
No friends interrupting them.
Just the two of them and one unfinished problem.
Keira finally left.
But Jovan's words followed her all the way to the stairs.
I'll still wait.
That night, Keira received a message from an unsaved number.
Unknown Number: Hi. This is Nadine.
Keira froze.
She read the name twice.
Another message came in.
Nadine: I got your number from Tasya. Sorry for reaching out out of nowhere.
Keira immediately opened her chat with Tasya.
Before she could type, Nadine sent another message.
Nadine: I think we need to meet.
Keira's chest began to tighten.
Nadine: About Jovan.
Keira stared at the screen.
Six days since they broke up.
Six days since she'd tried to convince herself that it was all over.
Now the person at the center of her suspicions had come to her on her own.
Keira typed slowly.
Keira: Why?
Nadine's reply came almost immediately.
Nadine: Because there's something you've misunderstood all this time.
Keira didn't move.
The final message appeared.
Nadine: And if Jovan still hasn't told you, then I have to be the one to say it.