The excitement over the midterm exams had barely died down when the junior class division received a bombshell announcement.
Early Monday morning, Xia Zhifeng was summoned to the office by her homeroom teacher.
Besides her homeroom teacher, Old Zhang, the discipline office director in charge of academics was also seated behind the desk. Old Zhang wore a rare expression of solemnity and delight as he gently pushed a red-header document toward Xia Zhifeng.
“Zhifeng, this is a recommendation slot for the Tsinghua University Preparatory Excellence Program, one of the nation’s top elite-school programs.” Old Zhang’s voice was full of pride. “There are only three slots in the entire city. Our school fought for the only one available, and after a unanimous discussion among the faculty, we’ve decided to give it to you.”
Xia Zhifeng stared at the words “Direct Admission to the Preparatory Program” printed across the document and froze for a moment.
“However, the requirements for this program are extremely strict,” the discipline office director added. “Once you receive the recommendation letter, you’ll need to leave for Beijing next week to take part in six months of closed-door training and interviews with experts. If you pass, you’ll skip the college entrance exam entirely and be admitted early to Tsinghua University’s elite departments of atmospheric physics and advanced mathematics.”
Leave for Beijing early... Six months of closed-door training.
Xia Zhifeng’s fingers tightened slightly. In her past life, she had missed this opportunity—one countless people dreamed of—because of the family business and one upheaval after another. There was no doubt that this was a golden road leading straight to the peak of life.
But... what about Zhou Huai’an?
He had only just clawed his way up from dead last in the grade to eighty-eighth place. He had only just managed to find his footing in the swamp. If she left him for six months now, how would he face the undercurrents within the Zhou family and the storms still to come all by himself?
By the time she left the office, the bulletin board was already surrounded by students. The news that “Xia Zhifeng has earned direct admission to Tsinghua” spread through the entire grade as if it had grown wings.
“Oh my God, she’s getting into Tsinghua directly! Top Scholar Xia is seriously amazing!”
“She’s leaving for Beijing next week for training. After this, Top Scholar Xia and the rest of us won’t even live in the same world anymore...”
At the edge of the crowd, Zhou Huai’an stood there in a daze, gripping his backpack with one hand.
He looked at Xia Zhifeng’s name on the list and listened to the students around him. The full-sugar hot milk tea he had bought for her slowly grew cold in his hand.
The joy and confidence in the boy’s eyes seemed to be pulled away bit by bit in that moment.
He had worked himself to the bone, staying up late solving problems until his eyes ached, and finally clawed his way up to eighty-eighth place. He had thought he was one step closer to her. But in the blink of an eye, she was about to soar toward a sky so far away that he couldn’t even touch it.
After school, plane-tree leaves drifted down along the campus walkway.
Zhou Huai’an and Xia Zhifeng walked one in front of the other. The boy who usually loved to swagger beside her and banter nonstop had fallen half a step behind her today, head lowered, without saying a word.
Xia Zhifeng stopped and turned to look at him. “Zhou Huai’an, what’s wrong today? Is your stomach bothering you again?”
Zhou Huai’an raised his head and looked into her clear eyes. His heart felt as though countless ants were gnawing at it. He opened his mouth, his voice slightly hoarse. “...I heard you’re going to Beijing?”
Seeing the panic and unease he couldn’t hide in his eyes, Xia Zhifeng explained gently, “The teacher only gave me the slot. The training lasts six months, and I’m still considering it...”
“Considering what?” Zhou Huai’an cut her off. His voice held a stiffness and urgency he hadn’t even noticed himself. “That’s Tsinghua! The best university in all of China! Didn’t you take first place because you wanted to go to the best school? What’s there to consider?”
Looking at the contradictory expression on his face—so eager to push her away, yet so obviously afraid of being abandoned—Xia Zhifeng felt a faint ache in her heart.
She stepped forward and tried to tug on his sleeve. “Zhou Huai’an, what I mean is, if I go to Beijing, your study plan will need to be adjusted. I’ll organize all my notes from these six months and give them to you...”
But Zhou Huai’an instinctively stepped back, avoiding her hand.
The boy bent forward slightly, his eyes flashing with deep inferiority and pain. He looked at the palm scarred by years of fighting, then at Xia Zhifeng’s clean, slender fingers, and a profound sense of helplessness drowned him.
“Xia Zhifeng, stop wasting your time on me.” Zhou Huai’an tugged at the corner of his mouth, forcing out an utterly self-mocking sneer. “You think getting eighty-eighth place means I can really get into the same university as you? Quit dreaming. You’re destined to fly off to Beijing, while I... I haven’t even cleaned up the Zhou family’s mess.”
“Zhou Huai’an!” Xia Zhifeng frowned.
“I threw out the milk tea. From now on, walk home by yourself after school.”
Zhou Huai’an casually tossed the already-cold milk tea into a roadside trash can, turned around, swung his backpack with one hand, and strode away without looking back.
His back was straight, but beneath the pull of the setting sun, he looked unbearably lonely and fragile.
Over the next three days, their relationship fell to freezing point.
They were clearly still sitting at the same desk, yet it was as if an uncrossable abyss lay between them.
Zhou Huai’an put his black headphones back on. During class, he pulled his hoodie low over his face, radiating an air of hostility that warned everyone to keep their distance. He stopped asking Xia Zhifeng questions, stopped passing her notes in class, and when she placed the organized mathematics competition notes on his desk, he merely shoved them coldly into the corner without reading a single word.
During break, several boys from the class gathered around Zhou Huai’an’s desk to chat.
“Bro Zhou, I heard Top Scholar Xia’s flying to Beijing for training next Monday. Does that mean your one-on-one study group is breaking up?”
“Exactly. Xia Zhifeng is heaven’s favorite daughter. She won’t be anything like ordinary people like us anymore.”
Zhou Huai’an spun the pen in his hand, its tip scratching messy black marks across the paper. He didn’t even raise his eyes, his voice cold as ice.
“Then let it break up. I was already sick of having her boss me around. Memorizing formulas every day was exhausting as hell. Once she’s gone, I’ll finally get some peace and quiet.”
Every word fell clearly into Xia Zhifeng’s ears as she reached the back door of the classroom.
The girl standing in the doorway slowly tightened her hands. Her eyes reddened, but she said nothing. She simply turned and walked away.
From the back row, Zhou Huai’an watched her slender figure disappear. His fingers suddenly clenched around the pen, squeezing so hard that they twisted a crack into the plastic barrel.
Pain traveled up from his fingertips, but the pain in his heart was a hundred times worse.
He didn’t truly hate having her boss him around. He was just too afraid.
He was afraid that his mud-caked body would drag down her wings as she soared into the sky. He was afraid she would give up her direct admission for his sake. More than anything, he was afraid that after she had seen Beijing’s vast sky, she would turn around and realize what a small, pathetic loser he really was.
If they were destined to part, then it was better for him to play the villain who said the cruel words.
By the time school let out on Friday, the sky was frighteningly dark.
Heavy clouds pressed low overhead. Amid bursts of rumbling thunder, a torrential downpour suddenly descended. Raindrops slammed against the glass windows of the classroom building with a violent patter.
One by one, students were picked up by their parents or left under umbrellas. The entire classroom building gradually became empty and silent.
Zhou Huai’an remained alone in the classroom until the very end. He stared at the empty desk beside him, his heart aching as if someone had carved out a piece of it.
He packed his bag and walked out of the classroom building into the downpour. He had just reached the camphor tree in the back garden when a tall figure blocked his path.
Xia Zhifeng wasn’t holding an umbrella.
She wore a blue-and-white school uniform. Rain soaked through her hair and dripped along her delicate features. Her eyes, usually filled with gentle smiles, were heartbreakingly red as she stared straight at him.
Zhou Huai’an stopped short. It felt as if his heart had been struck by a heavy blow!
He hurriedly pulled off his school jacket and rushed forward, trying to cover her head with it. His voice was full of frantic worry and anger. “Xia Zhifeng! What the hell are you doing?! It’s raining this hard—why aren’t you going home? Why are you standing here getting soaked?!”
“Zhou Huai’an.” Xia Zhifeng didn’t move away. Instead, she reached out and grabbed his wrist, her grip astonishingly strong.
Rain struck both their faces, blurring their vision.
“You’ve been avoiding me and saying cruel things these past few days because of that direct-admission slot, right?” Xia Zhifeng’s voice was hoarse, carrying a sob she had suppressed for too long.
Zhou Huai’an’s body jolted. He turned his head away, afraid to meet her eyes, and said stiffly, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Go home...”
“Zhou Huai’an! Look me in the eye and answer me!” Xia Zhifeng shouted. Tears finally spilled from her eyes, mingling with the rain. “Do you think you can’t get into Tsinghua? Do you think you’re a burden? Do you think you’re holding me back?!”
The boy’s entire body went rigid.
Every word was a dull blade, slicing through the coldness and pride he had put on until nothing remained, exposing the raw inferiority and fear of loss beneath.
“Yes! That’s exactly what I think!”
Zhou Huai’an finally broke down! He spun around and roared at the storm raging between heaven and earth, his voice hoarse enough to break the heart.
“Xia Zhifeng! Do you even know how big the gap between us is?! You’re first in the grade. You’re heaven’s favorite daughter. You have an infinitely bright future ahead of you! But me?! I’m a delinquent who can’t even go home! I fought like hell to get eighty-eighth place. I thought I could get a little closer to you, but one direct-admission slot knocked me right back to reality!”
The boy clenched his fists, tears running from his deep-set eyes together with the rain.
“I’m scared! I’m afraid you’ll regret staying here! I’m even more afraid that one day people will point at you and say your boyfriend is a worthless loser with nothing! Do you understand, Xia Zhifeng?!”
This was the deepest fear he had kept buried in his heart all this time. He would rather be pierced by ten thousand arrows himself than let her suffer even the slightest injustice.
The rain roared around them.
Looking at the boy before her, howling out his inferiority like a helpless child in the downpour, Xia Zhifeng’s heart ached beyond words.
After her rebirth, she had long since seen through fame, fortune, and prospects. What she wanted had never been to stand alone at the top. She wanted to lead this boy who had once fallen into the abyss toward the light with her.
Without the slightest hesitation, Xia Zhifeng suddenly took a large step forward, opened her arms, and wrapped them tightly around Zhou Huai’an’s waist with all her strength.
Zhou Huai’an’s entire body shook violently, freezing in place.
Xia Zhifeng pressed her face deep against his rain-soaked chest. Listening to his frantic heartbeat, she spoke through her sobs, every word clear and unwavering.
“Zhou Huai’an, listen carefully.”
“This afternoon, I went to the discipline office and formally turned down the direct-admission slot.”
Zhou Huai’an’s pupils contracted sharply. He looked down at her in disbelief. “You... what did you say? You turned it down? Are you insane?!”
“I’m not insane!” Xia Zhifeng raised her head and let the rain beat against her face. Her eyes shone with dazzling, proud light.
“Zhou Huai’an, I don’t need a preparatory program to prove myself! When the college entrance exam comes in six months, I’ll get into Tsinghua on my own ability!”
She clasped the boy’s cold hand and pressed it against her heart.
“And you, Zhou Huai’an—you’re not a loser. You’re the person I, Xia Zhifeng, chose! In these six months, I’ll stay by your side and help you climb, step by step, from eighty-eighth place into the top ten! We’ll get into a university in Beijing together and stand at the very top together!”
“I worked so hard to become exceptional not to leave you behind, but so I would have enough courage and the right to decide that my life would always have you in it!”
Rain poured down across the world, but it seemed as though only their breathing remained between heaven and earth.
Zhou Huai’an looked at the girl before him—the girl who had given up direct admission for his sake, whose eyes were filled with unshakable resolve and deep affection. The glacier that had been sealed away in the depths of his heart for so long completely collapsed and vanished in that instant.
To hell with his inferiority. To hell with holding her back!
This girl had wagered her dazzling future on him and stood by his side without hesitation. How could he dare to lose? How could he bear to let her lose?
“Xia Zhifeng...”
Zhou Huai’an’s voice trembled. He suddenly threw both arms around her and pulled Xia Zhifeng fiercely against him with enough force to fuse her into his very bones.
The boy buried his head against her wet neck as hot tears rolled down his cheeks.
“You idiot... You’re such a huge idiot...”
“I’m not an idiot.” Xia Zhifeng laughed in his arms, tightening both arms around his back. “Zhou Huai’an, promise me you’ll never push me away again.”
“I won’t. I’ll never push you away, even if I die.”
Zhou Huai’an held her tighter. He lifted his head in the downpour, and the weakness and inferiority in his eyes had been swept away, replaced by a feral intensity and a wild ambition he had never shown before.
“Beijing, huh? Tsinghua, huh? Xia Zhifeng, I’ll stake my life on it for you! If I can’t get in next semester, I’ll come to you with my head in my hands!”
The evening wind swept through the camphor leaves, and the rain gradually eased.
The two of them held each other tightly in the rain, their hearts finally pressed together. This time, the upheaval hadn’t torn them apart. Instead, it had burned away the weakness in the boy’s heart and forged two souls that were more resolute and indestructible than ever.