The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual.
Maybe this body was already starting to get used to its new life.
Or maybe my mind was too full. I was still thinking about Fito.
More precisely, about what Fito had said yesterday.
Don't follow someone else's wishes if that's not what you want.
A simple sentence.
But why did it feel as if he was actually talking about himself?
I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at my phone screen.
I opened the calendar.
The twentieth was getting closer.
The Student Works and Hobbies Exhibition.
I had to go.
Not because I wanted to be a good mother.
At least, not yet.
I just wanted to see what Xana's children's lives were really like.
Besides, if I really wanted to change Xana's life, I had to know what had made it such a mess.
I went downstairs.
The house was still fairly quiet.
A few servants had already started working, but I didn't see Helen or Devia.
Good.
I wasn't in the mood for an argument first thing in the morning.
As I passed the family room, I heard a voice coming from the study.
I stopped.
The door was slightly open.
Raka.
He was sitting in front of a laptop.
Several sheets of paper were scattered across the desk.
I knocked on the door.
Knock, knock.
Raka turned around.
"Come in."
I opened the door.
"Aren't you going to school?"
"It's only six."
"Oh."
I glanced at the desk.
There were drawings, charts, several numbers, and writing I couldn't even understand.
"What are you making?"
"A project."
"For the exhibition?"
Raka nodded.
I moved a little closer.
"Can I ask what it is?"
Raka looked at me.
"Why are you suddenly interested, Mom?"
I fell silent.
The question was simple.
But for some reason, it felt like a stab.
"Because I want to know."
"You never usually ask."
I pulled out the chair across from him.
"Then I'm asking now."
Raka didn't answer.
He turned his attention back to the laptop screen.
I looked at the various images on the desk.
"Did you make all of this?"
"Yeah."
"By yourself?"
"Yeah."
I nodded.
"It's good."
Raka looked at me again.
"Good?"
"Yeah."
"That's all?"
I frowned.
"What else am I supposed to say?"
Raka shrugged.
"I don't know."
I smiled faintly.
"If it's good, then it's good."
For the first time since I had arrived in this world, Raka's expression changed slightly.
He didn't quite smile.
But his face wasn't as cold as before.
"I'm making an energy management system."
I looked at the screen.
"What for?"
"So electricity can be used more efficiently."
I fell silent.
So this kid wasn't just smart.
He had something special.
"You like it?"
Raka nodded.
"A lot."
I smiled.
"Then don't stop."
Raka looked at me for a long moment.
"What if I fail?"
"Fix it."
"What if I still fail?"
"Fix it again."
"What if other people say it's bad?"
I leaned back in my chair.
"As long as you know why you made it and can stand behind the results, other people's opinions aren't always important."
Raka was silent.
I stood up.
"All right, keep going."
I had only taken a few steps when he called out.
"Mom."
I turned around.
"Thank you."
I was a little surprised.
"You're welcome."
I left the room.
And only after the door closed did I smile to myself.
Being a mother wasn't actually difficult.
The difficult part was being the mother of children who had already lost their trust in you.
That afternoon, I found Alma practicing the violin.
Unlike Raka, who was serious and quiet, Alma was much more expressive.
She could even repeat the same section over and over without seeming bored.
I stood near the door.
"How long do you practice?"
Alma stopped playing her violin.
"Usually two or three hours."
"Every day?"
"Yeah."
I looked at the awards on the shelf.
"How many competitions have you entered?"
"I don't know."
She smiled proudly.
"A lot."
I nodded.
"That's amazing."
Alma smiled.
"Auntie Yuza says that a lot too."
Yuza again.
I was starting to understand why this child was so close to that woman.
Yuza wasn't just someone Fito loved.
She had also become part of the children's lives.
Maybe that was why Xana had once felt even more pushed aside.
I couldn't completely blame Alma.
A child would only love someone who made her feel valued.
"You're really close to Yuza?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
Alma thought for a moment.
"Because Auntie Yuza always comes when I perform."
I fell silent.
Damn.
The sentence was simple.
But I immediately understood something.
Maybe Xana wasn't a mother who didn't love her child.
Maybe Xana had simply lost at showing her love.
While Yuza always showed up at exactly the right time.
I sighed.
"Then practice hard."
Alma nodded.
"Mom's coming on the twentieth, right?"
I turned to her.
"Yeah."
"Why do you want to?"
I furrowed my brow.
"What's wrong with that?"
"Mom never usually comes."
I fell silent.
I didn't know how to answer.
In the end, I told her the truth.
"Because this time, I want to come."
Alma stared at me for a few seconds.
Then she nodded.
"Okay."
There was no hug.
No tears.
No major change.
But at least she didn't tell me to leave.
I thought that was enough.
That night, I sat alone on the balcony outside my room.
The city looked beautiful from that height.
I opened Xana's laptop.
I wanted to look for information about my life before I entered this body.
But the more I read, the stranger everything became.
The name Xana.
The Rafrendra family.
Fito's company.
The family business.
It was all there.
But what about me?
There was nothing.
I tried searching for a name I couldn't even remember clearly.
It didn't work.
I closed the laptop.
Maybe I really had to accept reality. For now.
Knock, knock.
I turned around.
Fito was standing at the balcony door.
"You aren't asleep yet?"
"Not yet."
He walked closer.
"Are you still thinking about the divorce?"
"Yeah."
Fito was silent.
"Do you really want to leave?"
I looked at him.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I want a life of my own."
Fito nodded slowly.
"I understand."
I was somewhat surprised.
"You're not going to stop me?"
"Not necessarily."
I immediately frowned.
"What does that mean?"
"Our divorce isn't just a matter between you and me."
I remembered what Fito had said before.
About the family.
About the company.
About Yuza.
About the public.
But this time, I didn't want to discuss it.
"Then let's talk about it after the school event."
Fito looked at me.
"Why after the event?"
"Because I already promised Alma and Raka."
He was silent for a long time.
Then he nodded.
"All right."
Fito turned around.
Before going inside, he stopped.
"Xana."
"Hmm?"
"Don't trust everything you remember too much."
I froze.
Fito glanced back at me.
"Sometimes, something we think we know..."
There was something strange in his gaze.
"...isn't necessarily true."
Then he left.
I remained standing on the balcony.
My heart was beating faster.
I didn't know what he meant.
But one thing was becoming increasingly clear.
The novel I had read might never have told the whole truth.
And if that was the case...
I had to stop believing that story completely.
Because maybe from the moment I entered Xana's body, the story had already changed.