Every day is a new page for every person. Some may remain submerged in old pages, unable to look toward a new one, until nothing happens on the blank page. Others walk straight ahead, filling new pages without looking back at the old ones, though perhaps they glance back from time to time, steeped in memories.
The same was true of me. Today, I was writing a new story on the pages of my life—a new page that might only make me smile bitterly whenever I looked back on the past. I had no idea how long I had been preening and staring at my own reflection in the mirror that morning. Even the sunlight that had been shining shyly before had now revealed itself cheerfully, illuminating my blue-and-white-accented bedroom. I saw my reflection clearly in the mirror: myself wearing a white wedding dress. The beautiful dress I had chosen myself, simple yet elegant. My long black hair was softly swept back, with a few wispy strands left loose to sweeten my face. And with one more touch of makeup, I would be perfect. The mask I needed so badly today. The mask that would hide how I truly felt.
“Love, everyone’s waiting for you. Come on, hurry downstairs.”
“Yes, Auntie. One more touch to make me perfect for this special day.” I smiled at her as she headed downstairs to where everyone had gathered. Then I gently swept pink lip gloss over my lips, concealing their pallor. Perfect.
I descended the stairs toward the yard, where everyone had gathered and was looking at me with happy smiles. I returned them with the sweetest smile I could manage. I walked slowly, the tapping of my high heels muffled by the well-kept green grass that had been prepared for today. The more people looked at me with joy on my behalf, the more I felt my oxygen supply running out. My chest tightened, making it difficult to breathe. When I stopped, I shifted restlessly, searching for someone. Then someone took my hand, and I saw him smiling at me with such affection.
“Dear, you look so beautiful. We’ve been waiting for you for a long time, and I don’t want you to miss this very important ceremony.”
“Oh, Dad, I’m so sorry. Has that special person arrived yet?” I asked Dad, who looked younger in his tuxedo. To anyone else, he would have looked like a man in his thirties rather than his forties.
“Of course, dear. You have to see her. She’s very…”
“Awesome…” I finished for Dad, who seemed to have run out of words.
“Well… you know what I mean, dear.” Dad then led me to sit in the first row of neatly arranged chairs. I saw the wedding officiant who would perform the marriage already prepared, looking very wise.
“Dear, this is your place, and I have to get ready to welcome an angel descending from heaven up front. May I?”
“You should be there, Dad,” I said softly. With a broad smile, Dad hurried to stand in front of the wedding officiant. I slowly lowered my head and closed my eyes. My relatives and the invited guests, most of them Dad’s friends, had taken their seats. How could this be happening? I thought.
Not long afterward, whispers began buzzing among the guests. The bride had arrived and was walking slowly toward where my father was waiting.
She looked incredibly beautiful in a long white dress that seemed luxurious, with a transparent veil covering her flowing brown hair and lovely face. Natural makeup concealed the wrinkles beginning to appear. But my gaze was trapped by the figure walking beside her—a man I had known for a long time. He looked incredibly handsome, even though he wore only a faint smile that seemed cold. His tousled brown hair suited his black suit perfectly. Then he met my eyes, which were already fixed on him. Ah, he was wearing a mask too, apparently, I thought. When he and the bride reached the spot behind my father, he turned and took a seat across from me. The sacred ceremony proceeded solemnly and peacefully. Several women sobbed as they watched two people make sacred vows before God and the angels of heaven, who prayed for the man and woman about to become husband and wife.
I smiled happily as I watched my father’s face. He had been smiling with joy the entire time; even while reciting his sacred vows, he never stopped smiling. Yet that smile made my heart tighten a little. I didn’t know why, but I wanted to run forward and stop this ceremony. All I could do was turn and search for someone I cared about—or no, more precisely, someone I loved. I gazed into those blue eyes. Just like me, his face looked anguished, reflecting the turmoil in his heart. I smiled sadly and mouthed the words, hoping he could read my lips.
“Everything’s gonna be okay, my love.” He smiled at me before turning his gaze back to the front.
I looked again at my father and my new mother, who had finished making their sacred vows. The father I loved had married the mother of the man I had also loved for two years. This marriage would not make the sky fall, a mountain erupt, or a massive earthquake strike, but it would change my life forever.