That night, I played several rounds of PUBG with Ranhua.
We were waiting for the next match to load when my phone screen lit up.
It was Li Yuxiang.
*ran into you today out of nowhere. kind of caught me off guard.*
I froze. Before I could figure out how to respond, a second message came through.
*do you… not want to see me?*
I stared at that line for a long time without replying.
Seven years, and he still said exactly what was on his mind. Seven years, and I still buried everything.
I didn't rush to answer. I set the phone aside and kept playing with Ranhua until the last match was done.
When the victory sound came through my headphones, I finally quit out and opened the chat again.
I typed slowly.
*no. it's just been a long time. took me a second.*
I sent it, watched the screen for a moment, then locked my phone without waiting for his reply.
Ranhua pulled off her headphones and looked over at me.
"What did he say?"
I handed her my phone.
She read it, let out a quiet breath, and handed it back.
"He hasn't changed."
I smiled a little. Didn't say anything.
Ranhua knew the whole story from high school.
She knew I used to wait for his messages every day. She knew I'd convinced myself we were one confession away from something. She knew that when he said *I'm seeing someone*, I couldn't get a single word out for the rest of the night.
She was quiet for a moment before she spoke.
"Ruoqing. You're not actually angry at him, are you?"
I looked down at my hands. A few seconds passed.
"No."
"I just… don't know how to be around him."
Seven years is long enough to get used to someone being gone.
I thought I'd already packed that part of my life away somewhere safe.
But seeing him again today, I realized some feelings don't disappear. They just get pressed down deep enough that you forget they're there. Until something turns them over, and suddenly you're not ready at all.
Ranhua patted my shoulder.
"You're at the same company now. You'll run into him again. You don't have to figure out how you feel right this second. Just let it be."
I nodded, though I wasn't sure I could.
That night I lay in bed and couldn't settle. My phone stayed quiet.
At some point I finally drifted off.
The next morning I put on my uniform and walked into the office the same as always.
I told myself yesterday was just a fluke. A one-time thing.
Then I set my bag down, and a familiar voice came from behind me.
"Ruoqing. Do you have a minute?"
I turned around. Li Yuxiang was standing there, wearing the same easy smile he'd had yesterday.