Binar Anjani means softly shining light carried by the wind. She wasn't as beautiful as a famous actress, just a girl with the distinctive features of a Malay woman. A small, sweet face with a hint of arrogance softened by shyness.
She was only the owner of a pharmacy that made medicines from natural ingredients, earning just enough to get by in the capital, where everything cost an arm and a leg.
However, who would have guessed that behind Binar's cheerful expression at work was a patient diagnosed with OCD and GAD?
She had been born into a completely broken family. Her father cheated, remarried, and fled to Saudi.
Her mother was heartbroken and remarried too. She gained a new husband, two stepdaughters, and a son from her new marriage.
And ever since her father ran away from Indonesia, Binar had felt her mother's attitude change. She became harsh and seemed to hate Binar. Yet she appeared to adore the child from her stepfather's side.
Did Binar fight back? Don't be ridiculous, unless she wanted to be thrown out of this house.
Why didn't she move out and find a new place to live? Come on—the capital was too harsh for a woman.
“Where have you been, Binar? You just got home at midnight?” Her mother, Murni, was waiting by the door with her hands on her hips.
“Coming home from work, Mom,” Binar replied quietly.
Indeed, before heading to the hospital, she had stopped by to check on things at the pharmacy. And no one knew about her condition. Besides, they wouldn't care anyway.
“Don't you dare tarnish our family reputation, the Kencana family name.”
Binar laughed bitterly. She knew all too well how highly her mother valued the family's reputation. There was nothing wrong with that, except that she was neglecting her own daughter.
All her mother knew was family reputation, family reputation, and her new family.
“Mom, that's enough. Sis Binar must be tired.” Azalia, her stepsister, came over to coax Murni. It was a miracle—her mother immediately smiled and listened. Then she went back to her room.
“Sis, why do you still want to work at a pharmacy for that tiny salary? Why don't you go back to college with me?”
Binar snorted harshly, unmoved in the slightest by Azalia's innocent expression.
“That’s because you took away everything I was entitled to. You want me to go to college, right? How about you drop out now? You don't want to, do you? So don't be a hypocrite.”
“Sis, why are you saying that?” Azalia's eyes glistened with tears.
And everyone believed that her stepsister had a heart as soft as silk. But Binar? Of course she didn't, because she was the victim of Azalia's fake innocence.
She had met so many people whose faces looked like fairy godmothers while their hearts were possessed by demons. They were experts at wearing masks, fooling countless people.
People often assumed that anyone who spoke harshly was evil. But there was an old saying: “Don't judge a book by its cover.”
“Your pathetic face makes me sick.”
After saying that, Binar went into her room and locked the door from the inside.
Binar didn't immediately touch anything in her room. She went to the bathroom and washed her hands with soap, scrubbing hard as if there were a huge ink stain on them. Once the slippery residue of the soap was gone from her hands, Binar applied more soap and washed them again, continuing until she felt completely clean.
Then the girl's eyes fell on a cup holding several toothbrushes and her own tube of toothpaste. It looked messy. Binar quickly rearranged everything until it looked orderly and neat.
But afterward, she knocked the plastic cup away, scattering its contents across the floor.
Binar immediately crouched down and repeatedly slapped both of her ears. “Argh… I'm tired! I'm so tired.”
Her hands were already trembling faintly, but when she saw the toothbrushes scattered because of her own actions, the girl picked them up again and arranged them back in their holder until everything looked perfectly neat.
Nearly an hour later, Binar left the bathroom with a fresh face. She looked calm, as if she had never thrown her things around.
“I'm exhausted. Maybe lying down and watching a Chinese drama would be nice!”
Binar smiled, seeming to have complete control over her emotions. There were no more strange, repetitive rituals. Everything looked normal now.
To be continued.