My wife is absolutely amazing. So amazing that no matter what I do, it's always wrong in her eyes.
Even if I just sit around at home, doing nothing and showing zero initiative, whew... that's the worst kind of mistake.
Absolutely fatal.
It's like being sick, going to the hospital, and getting admitted straight to the ICU—only to suddenly walk out through the morgue.
My life is over! LOL
So the other day, I got up before dawn. At first, I intended to pray Tahajud, but somehow I ended up washing clothes instead.
The devil in my head whispered so sweetly.
"You love your wife, right? Then go help wash the dirty clothes."
Huh, he had a point. I really do love my wife.
So I obeyed.
An hour, eleven minutes, and eleven seconds later, I was still in the bathroom, washing clothes by hand.
Because my wife absolutely hates washing machines. She says that if you wash clothes with a machine, then the only one getting a ton of spiritual merit is the washing machine.
And she'll only get a tiny little share of merit for making her husband happy.
Hey! That's not how it works!
Then what was the point of me going out of my way to buy a washing machine?
Just to use it as decoration?
After washing the clothes, I rinsed them twice with clean water, then added some lavender-scented fabric softener. Why?
So they'd smell nice, obviously. Then my wife would be happy and praise me all day long.
Except... I was spectacularly wrong!
The moment I realized my wife was awake, I was already grinning from ear to ear. Especially once I was sure she'd head straight to the kitchen when she got up. Toward me.
My heart was pounding like crazy.
I wanted to see the delighted expression on my wife's face.
I was laughing maniacally inside. Hahahaaa.
The moment the bathroom door opened...
Click!
"Angah washed the clothes? No way!" my wife asked, sounding like she couldn't believe it.
I smiled broadly.
My wife rubbed her eyes once.
My smile got even wider.
My wife rubbed her eyes again. Left, right.
I smiled even wider still, but I had a feeling... something was definitely off!
"What's wrong, babe?" I gathered the courage to ask.
My wife stayed rooted to the spot, looking around.
"Why did you add lavenderrrr-scented softener, Angahhh?"
I scratched my head.
"Huh? Was that wrong?"
That was my second mistake. I shouldn't have asked. If my wife complained, that already meant I had done something wrong.
"I'm allergic to the smell of lavenderrrr...."
I just stood there, completely dumbfounded.
Whose fault was it that somebody bought that fabric softener?
"But it smells nice, babe." I defended myself. More accurately, I defended the work I'd just spent an hour, eleven minutes, and eleven seconds doing.
"What's wrong with it?"
That was my third mistake. When your wife says she doesn't like something, don't ask why. Period.
"I don't like ittt!" my wife declared, stomping one foot, then the other.
"Seriously, it smells really good, babe. I like it." I was still trying to cheer her up.
"Yeah, it smells good. But it smells like it's reminding me of my ex, Angahhh!"
Oh, come oooon... you little—
"So what are we supposed to do with these, babe?"
My wife fell silent for a moment, like she was thinking about it very, very hard.
I glanced at the clock in the bathroom. Fajr was coming up soon.
"All I know is, I don't want to—" My wife paused deliberately, while my heart started pounding out of control.
"...Angah has to wash all these clothes again. ALL OF THEEEM!"
"Huh?!" I was honestly even more confused. Meanwhile, my wife had already turned around.
"And don't let any lavender smell remain!"
Okay, noted.
"They have to be clean, okay!"
Absolutely clean. Note that too.
My wife suddenly glanced back over her shoulder.
"Oh, right, I forgot. You have to wash them with dish soap!"
"Huh?!"
"Why have you been going 'Huh, hey, hoh' this whole time?" My wife shot me an exaggerated glare while planting her hands on her hips. "If you don't want to, just say so!"
"I do want to." I answered firmly, and my wife gave me a crooked smile. She looked like she'd already won.
The only problem was... I didn't want the clothes I wore to smell like disheeees!