Late, but Right on Time — Chapter Nine: Some Pasts Haven’t Truly Ended
On Monday morning, Lin Wan arrived at the office ten minutes earlier than usual.
She set her coffee on her desk, turned on her computer, and prepared to start the day’s work.
But even after the screen had been lit for a long while, she couldn’t take in a single word.
What kept surfacing in her mind was still the message Gu Chengyuan had sent last night.
—Good night, Lin Wan.
She had replied to him too.
—Good night, Gu Chengyuan.
That was all.
Neither of them had said anything more.
Neither had deliberately prolonged the conversation.
And yet, after turning off her phone, Lin Wan had lain in bed for a long time without falling asleep.
She had even started wondering if she was too easily affected.
She had already told herself that they were only getting to know each other again.
She still hadn’t decided whether she wanted to forgive him.
And yet every word Gu Chengyuan said, every look he gave her, seemed to be finding its way back into her life.
Lin Wan sighed.
“Why have you been spacing out all morning?”
Her coworker, Chen Siyu, stood beside her with a coffee in hand.
Lin Wan looked up.
“Have I?”
“Yes, and it’s extremely obvious.”
“I was just thinking about something.”
“Thinking about what?”
“Work.”
Chen Siyu glanced at the document Lin Wan still hadn’t opened.
“Miss Lin, your work seems awfully quiet today.”
Lin Wan: “…”
“Be honest.”
Chen Siyu pulled over a chair and sat down.
“Are you in love?”
Lin Wan nearly choked on her coffee.
“No.”
“That big of a reaction?”
“Because you’re making things up.”
“Then what’s going on with you lately?”
Lin Wan lowered her head and straightened the documents on her desk.
“Nothing.”
Chen Siyu stared at her for several seconds.
“Could it be that guy?”
Lin Wan’s hand stopped.
“What guy?”
“The man who came to pick you up that rainy day.”
Lin Wan looked up.
“How do you know about that?”
“I happened to see it.”
“Didn’t you leave first?”
“I forgot something and came back.”
Chen Siyu gave her a knowing smile.
“The way he looked at you didn’t seem like the way someone looks at an ordinary friend.”
Lin Wan’s heartbeat stumbled faintly.
“You’re reading too much into it.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Then who is he?”
Lin Wan fell silent.
She didn’t know how to introduce Gu Chengyuan.
Her ex-boyfriend?
The person who had reappeared in her life?
The person she had once loved most?
Or the person she now had no idea how to face?
In the end, she only said淡淡ly, “Someone I knew before.”
Chen Siyu raised an eyebrow.
“Someone you knew before?”
“Mm.”
“Then why is he picking you up now?”
Lin Wan looked at her.
“Are you unusually free today?”
“Busted.”
Lin Wan couldn’t help laughing.
Just then, her phone suddenly vibrated.
She lowered her head and looked.
Gu Chengyuan.
—Have you eaten lunch?
Lin Wan froze.
It was only a little after ten.
She replied:
—It’s not lunchtime yet.
He answered quickly.
—Just reminding you in advance.
Lin Wan couldn’t help smiling.
—I’m not a kid.
—I know.
—Then why remind me?
—Because you often get so busy that you forget.
Lin Wan stared at the messages and suddenly grew quiet.
She really had often forgotten to eat in the past.
Especially when she was busy.
Once, her stomach had hurt so badly that she couldn’t even stand up straight.
After Gu Chengyuan found out, he had sent her a reminder every day at lunchtime for an entire week.
Back then, she had even complained that he was annoying.
Now, remembering it, she suddenly felt a dull ache in her heart.
Some people leave.
But the habits they once left behind remain in your life.
Lin Wan was just about to reply when Chen Siyu leaned over.
“Who is it?”
“A friend.”
“Your boyfriend?”
“No.”
“Then someone who might become your boyfriend?”
Lin Wan looked up and glared at her.
“Chen Siyu.”
“Okay, I’m shutting up.”
Laughing, Chen Siyu returned to her seat.
Lin Wan lowered her head and replied:
—Got it.
A few seconds later:
—Good girl.
Lin Wan stared at those words.
The next second, she turned her phone facedown on the desk.
But her ears turned red before she could stop them.
“Lin Wan.”
Her supervisor suddenly walked out of the office.
“A client is coming at ten thirty. Come to the meeting with me.”
“Okay.”
Lin Wan immediately put away her phone.
She told herself that it was work hours.
She shouldn’t keep thinking about Gu Chengyuan.
But the more she reminded herself of that, the more vividly she saw him standing by the roadside waiting for her yesterday.
—This time, I want to wait for you.
Lin Wan closed her eyes for a moment.
“Seriously.”
She muttered under her breath, “What am I even thinking?”
At ten thirty, the client arrived right on time.
Lin Wan carried the documents into the conference room behind her supervisor.
She had been following with an ordinary, composed state of mind.
But when the conference-room door opened and she saw who was sitting inside, her steps abruptly stopped.
The other person froze too.
The air fell silent for several seconds.
“Lin Wan?”
That familiar voice reached her ears.
Lin Wan’s fingers tightened slightly.
“Zhou Yuan’an.”
The man in front of her slowly stood.
He was much more mature than before.
His hair was neatly combed, and he wore a well-tailored suit.
The same gentle smile from years ago still rested on his face.
But when Lin Wan looked at him, she felt no joy at their reunion.
Only a sudden weariness.
Zhou Yuan’an.
The man she had thought she would never see again in this lifetime.
He was also the only person who had stayed by her side during the period when she and Gu Chengyuan broke up.
“So it was you.”
Zhou Yuan’an smiled faintly.
“When I saw the name earlier, I was wondering if it could really be that much of a coincidence.”
Lin Wan managed a smile.
“I didn’t expect it either.”
Her supervisor clearly hadn’t noticed anything strange between them.
“You two know each other?”
Zhou Yuan’an looked at Lin Wan.
“Friends from before.”
Lin Wan said nothing.
Friends.
Hearing that word from his mouth made it sound inexplicably ironic.
Once the meeting began, Lin Wan tried her best to focus.
But Zhou Yuan’an was sitting across from her.
Every time she looked up, she could see him.
The memories she had thought time had carried away long ago began resurfacing bit by bit.
That year.
She had just broken up with Gu Chengyuan.
Every day passed in a daze.
She didn’t understand why Gu Chengyuan had suddenly left.
She didn’t understand why he refused to explain.
Even less did she understand how someone who had told her he loved her just the day before could tell her the next day that they weren’t right for each other.
That was when Zhou Yuan’an appeared.
He had been her friend in college.
He was also one of the few people who knew she and Gu Chengyuan had been together.
When Lin Wan was at her saddest, Zhou Yuan’an had stayed with her while she drank.
When she couldn’t sleep, Zhou Yuan’an had stayed up talking with her.
Once, she had even spotted someone on the street whose back looked a lot like Gu Chengyuan’s. She ran after him, only to realize she had mistaken him for someone else.
Zhou Yuan’an was the one who caught hold of her.
He had told her, “Stop chasing him. He isn’t coming back.”
At the time, Lin Wan thought he was only feeling sorry for her.
Later, she understood.
Perhaps some of the things people said weren’t simple words of comfort.
After the meeting ended, the others filed out one after another.
Lin Wan gathered her documents and prepared to leave.
But Zhou Yuan’an called out to her.
“Lin Wan.”
She stopped.
“What is it?”
“Can we talk?”
Lin Wan looked at him.
“I don’t think we have anything to talk about.”
Zhou Yuan’an’s smile stiffened slightly.
“It’s been so many years since we last saw each other.”
“So?”
“I just want to know whether you’ve been doing well.”
Lin Wan was silent for several seconds.
“I’m doing fine.”
“Really?”
“Mm.”
Zhou Yuan’an looked at her.
“You seem to have changed a lot.”
Lin Wan smiled faintly.
“Everyone changes.”
“But some things seem to be the same.”
She frowned.
“What do you mean?”
Zhou Yuan’an glanced at the phone she had set on the table.
“Who were you talking to before you came into the conference room?”
The color in Lin Wan’s face shifted slightly.
“What does that have to do with you?”
Zhou Yuan’an fell silent.
“Nothing.”
“Then don’t ask.”
She picked up her documents and prepared to leave.
But Zhou Yuan’an spoke behind her.
“Was it Gu Chengyuan?”
Lin Wan stopped dead.
The entire conference room was silent except for the sound of the air conditioner.
She slowly turned around.
“How do you know?”
Zhou Yuan’an didn’t answer immediately.
Lin Wan watched his expression.
Suddenly, she had a very bad feeling.
“Lin Wan.”
He sighed.
“There’s something I hadn’t planned to bring up again.”
“Then don’t bring it up.”
“But I think you should know.”
Lin Wan’s heart began to race.
“Know what?”
Zhou Yuan’an looked at her.
“Gu Chengyuan has come back, hasn’t he?”
She didn’t deny it.
“So what?”
“Are you planning to forgive him?”
Lin Wan frowned.
“That’s my business.”
“But you don’t know what happened to him back then—”
“I know.”
Lin Wan cut him off.
Zhou Yuan’an froze.
“You know?”
“I know what happened to him back then.”
Zhou Yuan’an’s expression changed visibly.
Lin Wan looked at him.
“He told me.”
“He did?”
“He said his father was hospitalized and the company was in trouble?”
Lin Wan’s fingers tightened instantly.
“How do you know?”
Zhou Yuan’an fell silent.
The unease in her heart grew stronger and stronger.
“Zhou Yuan’an.”
“What exactly do you know?”
He didn’t answer.
Lin Wan suddenly remembered a night many years ago.
She had just broken up with Gu Chengyuan then.
She had cried terribly.
Zhou Yuan’an had stayed beside her.
She had asked him, “Do you think he stopped loving me a long time ago?”
Zhou Yuan’an had said, “If someone really loves you, he wouldn’t leave like that.”
She had believed him.
For years, she had believed those words.
Lin Wan’s breathing grew uneven.
“Did you know before?”
Zhou Yuan’an looked up.
“Know what?”
“Did you know something had happened to Gu Chengyuan’s family?”
He didn’t answer.
In that instant, Lin Wan suddenly understood.
“You knew.”
Her voice slowly turned cold.
“You knew all along.”
Zhou Yuan’an closed his eyes for a moment.
“Lin Wan.”
“Answer me.”
“Yes.”
The moment that word fell, Lin Wan’s mind went blank.
She felt as if she could no longer hear any other sound.
“You knew.”
She said it again, as if she couldn’t believe it.
“You knew why he left.”
Zhou Yuan’an didn’t deny it.
Lin Wan suddenly laughed.
But there was no warmth in that smile.
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
Zhou Yuan’an was silent.
“Why?”
Her voice grew louder and louder.
“I asked you so many times back then.”
“I asked you what had happened to him.”
“I asked if you knew something.”
“And every time, you told me you didn’t know.”
Zhou Yuan’an’s expression grew complicated.
“I had my reasons.”
Lin Wan looked at him.
“What reasons?”
He was silent for a long time.
Then he said quietly, “Because I didn’t want you to turn back.”
Lin Wan stared at him.
“What?”
“You loved him too much back then.”
“He had already decided to leave you.”
“I didn’t want to watch you keep waiting.”
“That’s why I—”
“So you lied to me?”
Lin Wan cut him off.
Zhou Yuan’an said nothing.
“You knew he hadn’t stopped loving me.”
“You knew something had happened to his family.”
“But you said nothing.”
Tears suddenly welled in her eyes.
“Then you stayed with me every day and watched me cry?”
Zhou Yuan’an’s face went pale.
“I never meant to hurt you.”
“But you hurt me.”
Lin Wan’s voice trembled.
“Do you know what these years have been like for me?”
“I always thought he didn’t love me.”
“I always thought I wasn’t good enough.”
“You knew the truth.”
“And yet you let me believe things that weren’t true at all.”
Zhou Yuan’an took a step forward.
“Lin Wan, back then, I just thought that since he had chosen to leave, he no longer had the right to come back.”
Lin Wan stepped back.
“That still wasn’t your decision to make.”
Zhou Yuan’an froze.
“Who gave you the right to decide what I should or shouldn’t know?”
The instant she said it, Lin Wan thought of Gu Chengyuan.
She thought of how he, too, had made a decision for her.
Gu Chengyuan had believed leaving was a way to protect her.
Zhou Yuan’an had believed hiding the truth was a way to protect her.
But they had both done the same thing.
Neither had asked her.
Neither had asked whether she wanted to know.
Neither had asked whether she was willing to bear it with them.
They had simply used their own methods to decide her life for her.
“Who the hell gave you the right?”
Lin Wan’s tears finally fell.
Zhou Yuan’an froze.
“Lin Wan…”
“Don’t call me that.”
She wiped away her tears.
“I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
With that, she turned and left the conference room.
Zhou Yuan’an didn’t follow.
Lin Wan walked all the way to the stairwell.
She closed the door, leaned against the wall, and slowly crouched down.
Her phone vibrated at that moment.
She lowered her head.
Gu Chengyuan.
—It’s lunchtime. Eat.
Lin Wan stared at the message.
Suddenly, her tears fell even harder.
She didn’t know why.
She should have been angry at Zhou Yuan’an right now.
But seeing Gu Chengyuan’s name brought a complicated emotion surging through her, one she couldn’t describe.
All these years, she had thought the person she hated most might not be the only one who had hurt her.
The answers she had believed in might have been wrong from the very beginning.
Her phone vibrated again.
—What’s wrong?
Lin Wan didn’t reply.
A minute later:
—Lin Wan?
She bit her lip.
At last, she typed a single sentence.
—Are you free today?
Almost the next second, he replied:
—Yes.
Lin Wan stared at the screen.
—I want to see you.
This time, Gu Chengyuan didn’t ask any more questions.
—Where?
Lin Wan glanced around.
—Near my office.
—I’ll wait for you.
Two words.
Lin Wan’s tears suddenly fell again.
I’ll wait for you.
This time, he hadn’t disappeared.
He hadn’t made her guess.
He hadn’t left her alone where she was.
She sat leaning against the wall for a long time.
About forty minutes later, her phone vibrated.
—I’m here.
Lin Wan dried her tears and slowly stood up.
She walked out of the office.
From a distance, she saw Gu Chengyuan standing by the roadside.
The sunlight was bright today.
He stood beneath a tree, looking toward her.
When their eyes met, Lin Wan suddenly didn’t want to say anything.
She simply walked toward him.
The moment Gu Chengyuan saw her swollen, red eyes, his expression changed.
“What happened?”
Lin Wan didn’t answer.
“Who hurt you?”
She remained silent.
Gu Chengyuan’s voice dropped lower.
“Lin Wan.”
At last, she looked up.
“Zhou Yuan’an.”
Gu Chengyuan’s face darkened instantly.
Lin Wan watched his reaction.
“You know him?”
“Yes.”
“Have you two met before?”
Gu Chengyuan was silent.
“Yes.”
Lin Wan’s heart sank again.
“Did you know too?”
“Know what?”
“He knew about what happened to your family.”
Gu Chengyuan froze.
“He told you?”
“So it’s true?”
Lin Wan looked at him.
Gu Chengyuan didn’t deny it.
She suddenly felt exhausted.
“Why?”
“Lin Wan.”
“Why does everyone know?”
Her voice finally broke out of control.
“Why was I the only one who didn’t?”
Gu Chengyuan looked at her.
His eyes were filled with pain.
“Because I asked him not to tell you.”
Lin Wan went rigid.
“What?”
“Back then, I…”
“You asked him?”
She stepped back.
Gu Chengyuan tried to approach, but she immediately shook her head.
“Don’t come any closer.”
“Lin Wan.”
“So you were part of it too?”
Gu Chengyuan fell silent.
In that instant, she felt as if someone had shoved her into icy water.
Just moments ago, she had been furious that Zhou Yuan’an had hidden the truth.
But now, she realized that Gu Chengyuan himself was also one of the people who had kept her in the dark.
“You said you didn’t want me to have to bear it.”
Lin Wan’s eyes were red.
“But do you know what?”
“Not telling me was what hurt me the most.”
Gu Chengyuan’s face went pale.
“I know.”
“No, you don’t.”
She shook her head.
“If you really knew, you wouldn’t have waited until now to tell me.”
Gu Chengyuan was silent.
Lin Wan suddenly felt as if she had no strength left.
“I only found out today.”
She looked at him.
“So I was never really part of the story the two of you were telling.”
“I was just the last one to learn the truth.”
“But, Lin Wan—”
“Don’t.”
She cut him off.
“I don’t want to hear it right now.”
Gu Chengyuan stood where he was.
He didn’t chase after her.
Lin Wan looked at him.
Suddenly, she felt unbearably sad.
Some part of her wanted him to chase after her.
Wanted him to say something.
Wanted him to give her a reason.
But at the same time, she was afraid.
Afraid she would soften again because of his words.
“I need some time,” she finally said.
Gu Chengyuan’s eyes dimmed slightly.
“Okay.”
“Don’t contact me for the next few days.”
His fingers slowly tightened.
“Okay.”
“And don’t come to my office.”
“Okay.”
Lin Wan nodded.
She turned to leave.
But Gu Chengyuan’s voice came from behind her.
“Lin Wan.”
She stopped.
“This time…”
His voice was low.
“I’ll wait for you.”
Lin Wan closed her eyes.
Tears fell again.
She didn’t turn back.
She only kept walking forward, one step at a time.
She didn’t know who she was angriest at now.
Gu Chengyuan?
Or Zhou Yuan’an?
Or perhaps herself—the one who had been kept in the dark all along?
After returning to the office, Lin Wan didn’t speak for the entire afternoon.
Chen Siyu noticed that something was wrong.
But she didn’t ask.
Instead, just before leaving work, she quietly placed a hot drink on Lin Wan’s desk.
“Go home early today.”
Lin Wan looked up.
“I still have work.”
“Do it tomorrow.”
“But…”
“Lin Wan.”
Chen Siyu looked at her.
“Sometimes, people don’t need to keep pretending they’re fine.”
Those words suddenly made Lin Wan’s eyes grow red.
She lowered her head.
“I’m really fine.”
“Okay.”
Chen Siyu didn’t call her out.
She only patted Lin Wan lightly on the shoulder.
“Then pretend I didn’t say anything.”
That night, Lin Wan didn’t go straight home.
She walked alone to the riverbank.
The wind carried a hint of coolness.
She sat on a bench and watched the surface of the river.
Her phone was frighteningly quiet.
No messages.
No calls.
Gu Chengyuan was really respecting what she had said.
He hadn’t contacted her.
But the more he did so, the worse Lin Wan felt.
She suddenly remembered the past.
Gu Chengyuan had been like this then too.
When she told him not to contact her again, he had truly disappeared.
At the time, she had thought it meant he didn’t care about her at all.
But now she understood.
Perhaps some silences didn’t mean a lack of love.
Perhaps they were simply clumsy.
Simply unable to understand how to stay.
Her phone finally vibrated once.
Lin Wan immediately looked down.
But it wasn’t Gu Chengyuan.
It was Zhou Yuan’an.
—Can we talk?
Lin Wan stared at the message.
For a long time, she didn’t reply.
A second message popped up.
—There are some things you still don’t know.
Her heart sank slightly.
—What things?
Zhou Yuan’an didn’t answer right away.
After a long while, he finally sent:
—Before Gu Chengyuan left back then, he came to see me.
Lin Wan’s breath stopped instantly.
Her fingers slowly tightened.
The words on the screen seemed to blur.
Gu Chengyuan.
He had gone to see Zhou Yuan’an.
Why?
What exactly had they said?
And how many other things she didn’t know were there?
Lin Wan stared at her phone.
The night grew deeper and deeper.
The lights reflected on the river wavered faintly in the wind.
She suddenly felt that the past she had thought was over had never truly ended.
It had only been hidden away by everyone.
Until today.
The secrets buried for years had finally begun to rise to the surface, little by little.
And she didn’t know whether, after learning the whole truth, she would still be able to trust Gu Chengyuan again as she did now.
She also didn’t know how much the person she had once thought she understood best had kept from her.
Her phone vibrated again.
Zhou Yuan’an had sent another message.
—Lin Wan, there’s something I’ve never told you.
She stared at those words.
For a long time.
At last, the phone’s screen slowly went dark.
And Lin Wan remained sitting where she was.
She didn’t reply right away.
Because she suddenly felt afraid.
Afraid to learn the truth.
And afraid not to learn it.
Some pasts are impossible to truly let go of not because you’re still in love, but because the questions that never received answers remain lodged in your heart.
You don’t know why that person left back then.
You don’t know whether he ever loved you.
You don’t know what you did wrong.
So you can only search for answers in your memories, again and again.
But now, it seemed the answers were finally about to appear.
Lin Wan suddenly wasn’t sure whether she was truly ready.
Ready to learn what Gu Chengyuan had done before he left back then.
And ready to learn what Zhou Yuan’an had kept from her all these years.
The night wind passed by.
Lin Wan slowly tightened her grip on her phone.
She suddenly remembered Gu Chengyuan’s final words that day.
—This time, I’ll wait for you.
But some kinds of waiting don’t mean the story will return to its happiest place.
Sometimes, the real test is whether, when the entire truth is laid out before you, you’re still willing to believe.
Whether you still have the courage to walk toward the person who once hurt you.
And Lin Wan knew that, from this day forward, getting to know each other again would no longer be so simple for her and Gu Chengyuan.
Because sooner or later, they would have to face the past.
Face the things that had been hidden.
Face the people who had once caused them pain.
And face the wounds in each other’s hearts that they least wanted to touch.
She lifted her head.
The distant sky had gone completely dark.
The city lights came on one by one.
Lin Wan suddenly understood.
When someone returns after being late, it doesn’t mean the story can immediately begin again.
Before beginning again, they first have to learn how to properly end the past that never truly ended.
And Gu Chengyuan and Zhou Yuan’an would both become people she had to face again.
What Lin Wan didn’t yet know was that the “secret I’ve never told you” Zhou Yuan’an had mentioned would completely change her understanding of everything that had happened that year.
It would also make her realize for the first time that, back then, it hadn’t been only one person who had chosen to leave.
Someone had been standing between her and Gu Chengyuan from the very beginning, quietly changing the future they should have been heading toward.
The person who had been years late had finally returned to her.
But what had truly been late between them might never have been love.
It might have been the truth—the one that should have been spoken long ago.