#Chapter 8 “The Dead Name”
“The most terrifying thing isn’t seeing a ghost... but discovering that the person you love died long ago.”
That night, Tania barely slept.
The old photograph they had found at Raka’s grandfather’s house still occupied her thoughts.
Again and again, she opened her phone gallery and zoomed in on the photo she had managed to take before they left.
Every time she examined it...
The result was always the same.
The man standing on the right side of the photo was Nicholas.
He didn’t merely look similar.
He was exactly the same person.
The shape of his jaw.
His blue-eyed gaze.
The way he smiled.
Even his hairstyle wasn’t the slightest bit different.
“It’s impossible...” Tania whispered, rubbing her left temple, which had begun to throb. She leaned her back against the headboard while her phone screen continued glowing in front of her face. “There has to be a reasonable explanation.”
She tried to piece together various possibilities.
“Maybe that was Nicholas’s father.”
“Maybe his twin brother.”
“Or... maybe his family just has remarkably similar faces.”
But the more she thought about it...
The more forced every possibility felt.
No one could have the exact same expression, the same look in their eyes, and the same smile for more than twenty years.
Especially...
Nicholas had never looked any older.
Tania closed her eyes for a moment.
Fragments of their conversation flashed through her mind.
“You’re still afraid of thunder, huh?”
“I’m waiting for someone.”
“Who?”
“You.”
That last sentence made her heart start beating irregularly again.
“What are you, really...” Tania whispered. Her gaze fell back to the photo on her phone screen. “Who are you, Nicholas?”
The next morning, Tania arrived on campus earlier than usual.
The air was still cool.
Most of the students hadn’t even filled the faculty courtyard yet.
She sat alone on a garden bench, holding a cup of hot coffee that had already begun to lose its steam.
Not long afterward, familiar footsteps approached.
“Tan.”
Tania lifted her head.
Keisha and Raka walked toward her.
They both carried backpacks, and both looked as though they hadn’t gotten enough sleep.
“You couldn’t sleep either?” Tania asked softly with a faint smile.
Keisha immediately let out a long breath.
“Don’t ask,” Keisha replied, dropping onto the bench beside Tania. She gently rubbed her stiff neck. “I spent the whole night thinking about that photo.”
Raka sat down across from them.
“Me too,” Raka said, resting both elbows on the garden table. “Even my dad asked why I looked like I’d stayed up all night watching soccer.”
Keisha turned to him.
“What did you tell him?”
Raka gave a small grin.
“Like I could tell him I’d just seen a photo that might contain a ghost.”
Keisha reflexively gave Raka’s arm a light smack.
“Hey, don’t say that!” Keisha exclaimed, glaring at him. “I was just trying not to get goose bumps.”
Raka chuckled softly.
“Sorry, sorry.”
Tania, who had been silent all this time, finally spoke.
“I want to find out more about Nicholas.”
Keisha and Raka immediately turned toward her at the same time.
“How?” Raka asked with a frown.
“If he really was once alive...” Tania said slowly, looking from one friend to the other, “...there has to be a trace of him.”
“A trace?”
“Records.”
Keisha began to understand where the conversation was going.
“You mean... archives?”
Tania nodded.
“Yeah.”
She drew a quiet breath before continuing.
“Old newspapers... news reports... hospital records... anything.”
Raka fell silent for a few moments.
“That makes sense,” Raka replied, nodding slowly. “If he really attended a family event twenty years ago, there has to be a record of it.”
“But...” Keisha interrupted softly. Her face began to show hesitation. “What if we find something even more terrifying instead?”
Tania stared at her friend for a long moment.
Her expression was calm.
But deep in her heart, she felt the same fear.
“If I stop now...” Tania whispered, gripping her coffee cup a little tighter, “...I’ll never know who Nicholas really is.”
Keisha bit her lower lip.
A few seconds later, she gave a small nod.
“Okay,” Keisha replied firmly. “I’m in.”
Raka smiled faintly.
“Then let’s go,” Raka said, standing up. “We’ll start at the city library.”
Jakarta City Library stood grandly in the middle of a historic district.
The colonial-style building seemed peaceful compared with the city bustle on the road in front of it.
As soon as they entered through the main doors, the distinctive scent of old books filled their senses.
Tall shelves stood in orderly rows.
Several visitors sat reading in silence.
The three of them walked softly across the marble floor.
A middle-aged librarian approached them with a friendly smile.
“Good afternoon,” the librarian said politely, adjusting his glasses. “How can I help you?”
Tania stepped forward.
“Good afternoon, sir,” Tania replied politely. “We’d like to look for old newspaper archives.”
The librarian nodded.
“What year?”
Tania paused to think.
“The early 2000s... or maybe earlier.”
The librarian looked slightly surprised.
“That’s quite a long time ago.”
“Yes, sir.”
“May I ask what you need them for?” the librarian asked in a friendly tone.
Raka hurriedly answered.
“For family history research.”
“Oh...” The librarian smiled in understanding. “In that case, please follow me.”
They followed the man toward the archive room.
The room was far quieter.
Rows of metal cabinets filled nearly every wall.
Inside were hundreds of folders, microfilms, and bundles of newspapers yellowed with age.
“All the newspaper archives are here,” the librarian said, pointing toward several large shelves. “If you need help looking for a specific name, just let me know.”
Tania nodded.
“Thank you so much, sir.”
“You’re welcome.”
After the librarian left, Keisha let out a quiet breath.
“Oh my God...” Keisha murmured, staring at the towering shelves in front of her. “How are we supposed to find anything in all this?”
Raka chuckled.
“One step at a time.”
Tania slowly brushed her fingers over the cover of a worn newspaper bundle.
A thin layer of dust clung to her fingertips.
She drew a deep breath.
That strange feeling once again settled over her chest.
For some reason...
The closer she came to an answer...
The more the fear inside her grew.
She looked from one friend to the other.
“I hope...” Tania whispered as she opened the first newspaper bundle, “...I’m ready to accept whatever we find.”
Amid the silence of the archive room...
None of them noticed...
Someone was standing behind the library’s glass window.
The man wore a long black coat.
His blue-eyed gaze remained calm.
He watched Tania in silence...
As if he knew what step had just begun.
The archive room fell silent again.
The only sounds were the slow turning of old newspaper pages, occasionally interrupted by the ticking of the wall clock, which grew increasingly clear in the room.
Tania, Raka, and Keisha divided the work.
Raka examined newspaper archives from the early 2000s.
Keisha searched the index for news about the Wijaya Kusumawardhani family and various charity events that might be connected.
Meanwhile, Tania chose to search the records using the one name that continued to fill her thoughts.
“Nicholas Winston.”
She pulled open an old wooden catalog drawer.
Inside were hundreds of index cards arranged alphabetically.
Her hand moved slowly.
The letter “M”...
“N”...
Then stopped in front of a card that had begun to yellow.
“Nicholas... Winston...” Tania whispered. Her fingers trembled slightly as she read the words printed on the card.
An archive number appeared in the card’s upper-right corner.
A brief description was written beneath it.
“Traffic accident report — 2003.”
Tania’s heart seemed to stop beating.
She swallowed with difficulty.
“Rak...” Tania said softly, turning toward her friend. Her voice sounded much quieter than usual. “I found something.”
Raka, who had been opening a newspaper bundle, immediately raised his head.
“What?” Raka asked as he walked over.
Keisha came closer too, her face full of curiosity.
Tania handed over the index card.
Raka read it slowly.
His expression turned serious.
“This...” Raka murmured with a frown. “This could be what we’re looking for.”
“Could you get the archive for us, sir?”
Tania’s voice was soft as she called to the librarian, who was organizing documents at the far end of the room.
The librarian approached them.
“What’s the archive number?” he asked pleasantly as he put on cotton gloves.
Raka handed him the index card.
The man nodded slowly.
“Please wait a moment.”
A few minutes later...
He returned carrying a brown folder that looked much older than the other documents.
“Here’s the archive you requested,” the librarian said carefully as he placed the folder on the reading table. “Please don’t fold or damage the documents.”
“Yes, sir,” Tania replied politely.
After the librarian moved away, the three of them exchanged glances.
None of them dared open the folder first.
As if they all knew...
The answer inside might change everything.
Tania finally let out a long breath.
“I’ll open it,” Tania whispered as she slowly undid the folder’s clasp.
The first page contained a newspaper clipping.
The headline was printed in large letters.
“YOUNG MAN DIES IN MOUNTAIN ROAD ACCIDENT.”
Tania’s eyes moved quickly over the article.
Her hands began to feel cold.
Raka leaned closer.
“Is his name there?” Raka asked softly.
Tania nodded slowly.
In a voice that was almost inaudible, she read the article aloud.
“‘The victim was identified as... Nicholas Winston...’” Tania whispered. Her voice trembled with every word.
Keisha spontaneously covered her mouth with both hands.
“Oh my God...” Keisha murmured, her eyes widening in shock.
Raka still tried to remain calm.
“Look at the next document,” Raka continued quietly, swallowing hard.
Tania turned the page.
The second document was a copy of a hospital report.
At the top was the name of the hospital where the victim had been taken.
The patient’s information appeared beneath it.
“Name: Nicholas Winston.”
“Status: Deceased.”
“Cause: Severe injuries sustained in an accident.”
Tania’s hands trembled even more.
She felt tightness in her chest.
This was no longer a suspicion.
Everything was written out clearly.
“I...” Tania murmured, closing her eyes for a moment. “I don’t understand...”
Keisha gently took her friend’s arm.
“Tan...” Keisha said softly. “If you’re tired, rest for a while.”
Tania slowly shook her head.
“Not yet.”
There was still one final document inside the folder.
The sheet was much thicker.
An official government stamp appeared in the upper corner.
Raka glanced at it.
His face immediately went pale.
“That...” Raka said softly. “I think it’s a death certificate.”
The room seemed to grow even quieter.
Even the sound of the air conditioner was barely audible now.
With fingers that continued to tremble, Tania opened the final sheet.
Her eyes slowly read each line.
“DEATH CERTIFICATE”
Name: Nicholas Winston.
Date of Death: October 17, 2003.
Cause of Death: Traffic accident.
At the bottom...
There was an official stamp and a doctor’s signature.
Tania fell silent.
Her eyes remained fixed on the date.
October 17, 2003.
The same date.
The same name.
The same cause.
But instead of immediately feeling certain...
A doubt slowly surfaced in her mind.
“Wait...” Tania said quietly.
Raka and Keisha turned toward her.
“What?” Keisha asked in confusion.
Tania pointed to the document in front of her.
“If all of this is true...” she said slowly, “...why do I still feel like something’s wrong?”
Raka frowned.
“What do you mean?”
Tania stared at the death certificate for a long time.
“I don’t know.”
She carefully brushed the edge of the paper.
“The article is here. The hospital report is here. The death certificate is here too.”
Tania drew a deep breath.
“But... what if all of this was deliberately created to make people believe Nicholas had died?”
Keisha immediately fell silent.
Raka stared at Tania seriously.
“You mean... these documents are fake?”
“Not exactly.”
Tania quickly shook her head.
“I don’t know either whether they’re fake or not.”
Her gaze fell back to the death certificate.
“But if Nicholas really died in 2003...”
She paused for a moment.
“...then who have I been meeting all this time?”
Keisha swallowed.
“Maybe...” Keisha murmured uncertainly, “it really is his ghost.”
Tania didn’t answer right away.
Part of her wanted to accept that answer.
But another part continued to reject it.
Because from the moment she first met Nicholas, everything had felt too real.
The touch of his hand.
The sound of his breathing.
His gaze.
The way he spoke.
The way he stood before Tania.
Everything felt human.
Not a shadow.
Not a dream.
Not even something that could be explained simply with the word “ghost.”
“No...” Tania finally murmured.
Keisha looked at her.
“Why not?”
Tania lifted her head.
“Because I once touched his hand.”
Her voice trembled.
“He felt real.”
Raka fell silent.
Tania looked at the document again.
“And if someone really wanted to hide Nicholas’s existence...” she continued slowly, “...the easiest way would be to make everyone believe he was dead.”
Keisha shivered.
“So you think someone deliberately manipulated the news of his death?”
Tania didn’t answer immediately.
She only stared at the date of death.
“Maybe.”
Tania took a deep breath.
“Or maybe I’m just looking for an excuse because I can’t accept reality.”
She lowered her head.
“But I have to be sure.”
Raka nodded slowly.
“Then we can’t stop with this archive.”
Tania looked at him.
“We’ll find other evidence,” Raka continued. “Police records, the victim’s identity, the original accident report, maybe witnesses or family members who know what really happened.”
Keisha nodded too.
“And if these documents really are genuine...” Keisha said slowly, “...at least we know that Nicholas truly existed.”
Tania gripped the death certificate a little tighter.
But one question continued circling through her mind.
What if the news of his death was true... but someone had deliberately manipulated some of the facts behind it?
What if Nicholas hadn’t really died the way it said he had?
Or worse... what if his death was real, but someone had deliberately erased every trace of what had actually happened that night?
The thought made the back of Tania’s neck prickle.
There was no longer any doubt that Nicholas’s name was recorded as belonging to someone who had died.
But Tania still wasn’t convinced that this was the whole truth.
All the documents supported one another.
The old newspaper.
The hospital report.
The death certificate.
They all pointed to the same fact.
“Nicholas Winston... died many years ago.”
But for Tania...
That wasn’t enough.
Because the man declared dead...
was still standing in front of her.
“It’s impossible...” Tania whispered. Tears began to well in her eyes before she even realized it. “If he’s dead... then who has been with me all this time?”
No one could answer.
Keisha lowered her head.
Raka clenched both fists on the table.
The three of them were equally at a loss for words.
Tania continued staring at the death certificate.
Her mind was filled with memories of Nicholas.
His smile.
His gentle gaze.
The way the man always appeared precisely when she was in danger.
Everything felt real.
Too real to be called an illusion.
With hands still trembling, Tania slowly lifted her face from the death records.
Without realizing it...
Her gaze turned toward the library’s large window.
Her breath caught immediately.
Behind the glass...
A man stood calmly.
His long black coat fluttered gently in the wind.
His blue-eyed gaze was so gentle.
Nicholas.
He didn’t move.
He didn’t knock on the glass.
He didn’t call Tania’s name.
He only watched her with the warm smile she knew so well.
A smile that seemed to say...
“At last... you know everything.”
Tania froze in place.
But this time, fear wasn’t the only thing rising in her chest.
There was another question, far more disturbing.
If the news of his death was true...
why was Nicholas still there?
And if the news was a lie...
who had been trying all this time to make the world believe that Nicholas Winston was dead?
Meanwhile, behind the library window...
Nicholas continued standing there, watching her.
With a gentle smile.
As if he had known that his secret would finally be exposed.
And perhaps...
there was another secret Tania had yet to uncover.