That morning, Arel woke up feeling slightly different. For the first time since leaving a few days ago, he didn't immediately feel like shutting himself away from everything. He was still thinking about a lot of things, still carrying the same burden, but a small sense of calm had begun to emerge.
He sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the message he'd sent the night before.
"I'm okay."
It was only a short sentence, but it turned out to be enough to make a lot of people respond.
His mother replied a few minutes later.
"I'm relieved to hear that. Don't forget to eat."
Raka sent him a message too.
"Good to know you still remember how to text back."
Arel gave a small smile as he read it.
Dimas even sent a longer message.
"When you get back, I'll buy you a meal. But don't expect free food forever."
For the first time in days, Arel let out a small laugh.
Something as simple as that could still make him feel close to the people he'd left behind.
But once that warmth surfaced, his thoughts returned to the real reason he'd left.
There was one thing he hadn't finished.
One story he'd been avoiding all this time.
Arel grabbed his jacket and left the rented room. He walked toward the place he'd wanted to visit from the beginning but had kept putting off.
An old house at the end of the street.
It wasn't his house.
It belonged to Nara.
Along the way, Arel stopped several times. Part of him wanted to turn back. He was afraid the meeting would only reopen old wounds.
But in the end, he kept walking.
When he reached the front of the house, Arel stood there for quite a while.
The door opened before he had a chance to knock.
Nara stood there.
They stood in silence.
A lot of time had passed since they'd last seen each other, but strangely, nothing had really changed.
"You actually came," Nara said softly.
Arel slipped his hands into his jacket pockets.
"Yeah."
"I thought you'd only say you wanted to talk, then disappear again."
Arel lowered his head.
"I almost did."
Nara gave a faint smile.
"I know."
They sat in the yard. There was no conversation for several minutes. Only the sound of the wind could be heard.
Finally, Nara started the conversation.
"Why did you leave, Rel?"
Arel took a breath.
"I don't know where to start."
"Start with the most honest thing."
Arel looked at his own hands.
"I'm tired."
Nara listened in silence.
"I'm tired of pretending everything's okay."
"Since when?"
Arel thought for a moment.
"Maybe since everything started to change."
"What do you mean?"
Arel fell silent.
There were so many things he'd kept to himself all this time.
His failures.
His disappointment in himself.
The feeling that he was never good enough.
"I feel like everyone has expectations of me."
Nara looked at him.
"And you're afraid of disappointing them?"
Arel nodded.
"Yeah."
"You know what, Rel?"
"What?"
"All this time, you've been so busy thinking about other people's feelings that you've forgotten you have feelings too."
Arel didn't answer.
Because once again, the words felt exactly right.
"I thought if I left, everything would be easier."
Nara slowly shook her head.
"Easier for who?"
The question left Arel silent.
"I don't know."
"That's the problem."
Nara looked at Arel seriously.
"You left without really knowing what you were looking for."
Arel exhaled.
"Maybe."
"You're still the same as you were before."
Arel turned to her.
"What do you mean?"
"You always look for answers on your own."
Arel gave a small smile.
"Because I don't want to be a burden."
"Sometimes, the people who love you feel sad because you won't give them a chance to help."
Those words made Arel think of his mother, Raka, and Dimas.
They had never asked him to be perfect.
They only wanted him to stay.
"I made a lot of people worry, didn't I?"
Nara gave a small smile.
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry."
"You say you're sorry a lot."
Arel fell silent.
"And you often forget to fix things after you say you're sorry."
Her words made Arel smile faintly.
"You still say things straight."
"Because you still like to avoid things."
At last, they both let out a small laugh.
For the first time in a long while, Arel felt like he could breathe more easily.
But their conversation wasn't over yet.
Nara took a small box from inside the house.
"I've actually been keeping this for a long time."
Arel looked at the box.
"What is it?"
"Just open it."
Arel opened the box.
Inside were several old photographs.
Pictures of them back when they used to spend more time together.
Pictures from when everything still felt simple.
"You still kept these?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
Nara smiled.
"Because even if everything changes, that doesn't mean every memory has to be thrown away."
Arel looked at the photographs.
He used to think the only way to heal was to leave behind everything that reminded him of the past.
It turned out he was wrong.
Not every memory had to be forgotten.
Some only needed to be accepted.
"I'm scared to go back, Nar."
"Why?"
"I'm afraid nothing will be the same anymore."
Nara nodded slowly.
"It might not be the same."
That answer made Arel look at her.
"But that doesn't mean it'll be worse."
Arel was silent.
"Sometimes we have to lose something first to learn what really matters."
The day began to fade.
Arel stood, preparing to leave.
"Where are you going now?"
Arel looked at the road in front of the house.
"I don't know yet."
Nara raised an eyebrow.
"You still don't know?"
Arel let out a small laugh.
"Nope."
"What's different now?"
Arel thought for a moment.
"Before, I left because I wanted to run away."
"And now?"
"Now I'm leaving to find my way home."
Nara smiled.
"That's already better."
Arel walked a few steps, then stopped.
"Nara."
"Hm?"
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For still being willing to talk to me."
Nara only nodded.
"Be careful, Rel."
Arel continued on his way.
On the journey home, he felt that something had changed.
His problems weren't over.
His wounds hadn't completely healed.
But now he no longer felt like he had to face everything alone.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, Raka was looking at a message that had just come in from Arel.
"I might not be able to come home yet. But I'm trying."
Raka read the message again and again.
Dimas, sitting beside him, grew curious.
"What does it say?"
Raka gave a small smile.
"He's starting to come back."
Dimas nodded in relief.
"That's good."
"But he still has a long way to go."
Dimas looked at the evening sky.
"What matters is that he doesn't stop moving forward."
And for the first time since Arel left, the people waiting for him began to believe that someday, Arel would return.