# Chapter 4
The Question That Couldn't Be Avoided
Raveena read Talitha's message over and over until the letters seemed to lose their meaning.
There's something about Gavi I want to ask you in person.
No emoji.
No exclamation point.
No extra sentence to help her guess the tone.
That was exactly what made it more nerve-racking.
Raveena sat silently on the sofa, her phone still in her hand.
The book Gavian had given her lay open in her lap.
Almost five minutes had passed since the last message arrived.
She still hadn't replied.
She knew the longer she stayed silent, the stranger it would seem.
But what was she supposed to write?
Sure.
Too casual.
About what?
Too defensive.
Why do we have to meet?
Even worse.
Raveena closed her eyes for a moment.
Then she opened her conversation with Mirel.
Her thumb stopped.
No.
If she told Mirel now, Mirel would call.
Raveena didn't feel like hearing anyone's voice.
She went back to Talitha's message.
Finally, she typed:
Sure. I work until late tomorrow.
She paused.
Then added:
How about after six?
Send.
The reply came two minutes later.
That works. I have work near Karetiga until around five-thirty.
Then:
Let's meet wherever you're comfortable.
Raveena stared at the last sentence.
Strange.
Talitha was actually giving her a choice.
She didn't sound like someone preparing to make a scene.
But maybe adults didn't always get angry in ways that were easy to recognize.
Raveena typed:
There's a restaurant on Bersa Street called Sela. Six fifteen?
Okay. See you tomorrow, Raveena.
The conversation ended.
Raveena set her phone down.
A few seconds later, she picked it up again.
She opened Gavian's contact.
Then stopped.
Should she tell him?
No.
Talitha had contacted her directly.
If she told Gavian right away, it would make her look like she was coordinating behind Talitha's back.
Raveena hated that thought.
She turned off the screen.
That night, for the first time since meeting Gavian, Raveena deliberately turned off her phone before going to sleep.
Not so he wouldn't contact her.
But so she wouldn't be tempted to contact him first.
The next morning, Mirel knew immediately that something was wrong.
Raveena had just sat down.
She hadn't turned on her computer yet.
She hadn't even fully opened her bag.
Mirel was already standing beside her desk.
“You look like someone who got bad news last night.”
Raveena opened her laptop.
“Morning.”
“Morning. What's going on?”
“Nothing.”
Mirel pulled out a chair.
“What level of ‘nothing’ is this?”
Raveena glanced at her.
“There are levels?”
“There are. The first is that you're just tired. The second is a family problem. The third is Gavian.”
Raveena sighed.
“What if it's Talitha?”
Mirel went quiet.
Her expression changed in an instant.
“What about Talitha?”
Raveena lowered her voice.
“She texted me.”
Mirel immediately sat up straight.
“When?”
“Last night.”
“What did she want?”
“To meet.”
“Why?”
“She said she wanted to ask me something about Gavian.”
Mirel froze for a moment.
Then she whispered, “Wow.”
Raveena shot her a sharp look.
“Don't ‘wow’ me.”
“I don't know what else to say.”
“Find something.”
“Okay.”
Mirel leaned toward her.
“So you're meeting her?”
“After six.”
“Alone?”
“Obviously. Was I supposed to bring a whole group?”
“Raveena.”
“I'm serious.”
Mirel rubbed her forehead.
“Does Gavian know?”
“No.”
“Good.”
Raveena raised an eyebrow.
“Good?”
“Yeah. Don't tell him yet.”
“Why?”
“Because Talitha invited you, not Gavian. If you report to him before you even meet her, it'll look bad.”
Raveena nodded slowly.
Exactly what she'd thought the night before.
Mirel watched her.
“Are you scared?”
Raveena was about to say no.
But this time, she didn't want to lie.
“A little.”
“Scared she'll get angry?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
Raveena looked at her laptop screen, still dark.
“I'm scared she'll ask me something I already know the answer to.”
Mirel fell silent.
There was no joke this time.
After a while, she said, “If that happens, don't lie.”
Raveena turned toward her.
Mirel continued, “You don't have to tell her everything. But don't make Talitha look stupid.”
The words felt harsh.
But they were right.
Raveena nodded.
“Yeah.”
The workday moved more slowly than usual.
Every time she looked at the clock, only a few minutes had passed.
Every time she tried to focus on the manuscript, her thoughts returned to tonight.
Raveena imagined all the possibilities.
Talitha asking if Gavian often came to Karetiga.
Whether they texted often.
Whether Gavian had ever said anything about their relationship.
Whether Raveena liked Gavian.
The last question was the worst.
Because she wasn't sure she could lie while looking Talitha in the eye.
At two in the afternoon, her phone vibrated.
Gavian.
Busy today?
Raveena stared at the message.
She knew there was nothing strange about it.
An ordinary message.
An ordinary question.
But today, everything felt like a trap.
She sent a brief reply.
Pretty busy.
Gavian answered:
Senvora wants a revision to the scope. I might send it later this afternoon.
Okay.
A few minutes later:
What's wrong?
Raveena frowned.
Wrong with what?
Your replies are really short.
Raveena almost laughed in exasperation.
The man was far too perceptive about things he shouldn't have been paying attention to.
I'm working.
Okay.
The conversation ended.
Raveena put down her phone.
Mirel, sitting across from her, looked over.
“Him?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you tell him about tonight?”
“No.”
“Good.”
Raveena went back to work.
Fifteen minutes later, she realized one thing.
She didn't know whether Talitha had asked to meet because of something she'd seen herself or because Gavian had told her something.
And if it was the second one, Raveena wasn't sure which possibility was worse.
At six four, Raveena was already standing outside Sela.
It wasn't a café.
It was more like a small restaurant deliberately made comfortable for people who wanted to sit for a long time without too much noise.
The lighting was warm.
The tables weren't too close together.
Soft music played in the background.
Raveena had chosen the place because it was neutral.
Not Three Chairs.
Not somewhere connected to Gavian.
She went inside.
Talitha hadn't arrived yet.
Raveena chose a table near the wall.
Not by the window.
She didn't want to be too visible.
At six eleven, Talitha walked in.
She wore her hair down today.
She carried a large work bag and a thin folder.
As soon as she saw Raveena, Talitha gave her a small smile.
“Sorry. I'm a little late.”
“No, I just got here too.”
Talitha sat down.
They ordered drinks.
For a while, neither of them spoke.
Raveena waited.
Talitha seemed to be arranging something in her head too.
Finally, the woman said, “I'll get straight to it, okay?”
Raveena nodded.
Talitha folded her hands on the table.
“Are you and Gavi close?”
The first question went straight to the heart of it.
Raveena had expected it.
Her chest still tightened.
“We're friends.”
Talitha looked at her.
She wasn't angry.
She was just waiting.
Raveena let out a quiet breath.
“Pretty close.”
“Since when?”
“More or less after the Ruang Ketik and Karsa project was finished.”
Talitha nodded.
“Do you still text often?”
Raveena was silent for a moment.
“Yes.”
The answer came out more softly.
Talitha lowered her eyes to the table.
She didn't look surprised.
That made Raveena even more uncomfortable.
“Do you see each other often?”
“Sometimes.”
“At Karetiga?”
“Yes.”
Talitha nodded again.
The drinks arrived.
They both waited for the server to leave.
Talitha unwrapped her straw.
Raveena didn't touch her drink.
“Can I ask you something a little personal?”
Raveena almost wanted to say that everything Talitha had asked so far was already personal.
But she only nodded.
“Has Gavian ever told you about our relationship?”
Raveena answered carefully.
“A little.”
“How little?”
Raveena swallowed.
“He said things hadn't been good between you for a long time.”
Talitha smiled faintly.
It wasn't a happy smile.
More like the smile of someone hearing something she'd already predicted.
“Yeah.”
That was all.
Raveena looked at her.
Talitha played with her straw.
“What else did he say?”
“Not much.”
“Did he say he wanted to break up?”
“No.”
“Did he say he didn't love me anymore?”
Raveena shook her head.
“No.”
Talitha nodded.
Then fell silent.
Raveena felt like she had to say something.
“Talitha—”
“I didn't come here to get mad at you.”
Raveena stopped.
Talitha looked at her.
“I didn't come here to call you a homewrecker or anything like that, either.”
The words hurt more precisely because Talitha said them so calmly.
Raveena clenched the edge of a napkin beneath the table.
“Why did you ask me to meet you?”
Talitha sighed.
“Because I've felt for two months that something changed.”
“In Gavian?”
“Yes.”
Talitha gave a small smile.
“Someone who's been with us for years doesn't have to cheat openly for us to know they're starting to pull away.”
Raveena said nothing.
Talitha continued.
“Gavi started coming home late more often. Smiling at his phone more often. Sometimes when I told him something, he listened, but it felt like his mind was somewhere else.”
Raveena lowered her head.
Every sentence felt like something she had helped cause.
“At first I thought it was work.”
Talitha laughed softly.
“Then one day, he said your name three times in one night.”
Raveena looked up.
Talitha met her eyes.
“Little things. The book you recommended. The coffee you said was good. Then he told me an editor at your workplace had said something about a manuscript.”
Raveena didn't know what to say.
“He didn't realize it,” Talitha said. “Maybe he still doesn't realize how often he brings you into our conversations.”
Silence.
Raveena finally said, “I never asked him to—”
“I know.”
Talitha cut her off gently.
“I'm not saying you started it.”
Raveena looked at the other woman's face.
There was no hatred there.
There was hurt.
That was worse.
Much worse.
Talitha asked, “Do you like him?”
The question had come.
Finally.
Raveena felt her entire body tense.
She could lie.
Easily.
All she had to do was shake her head.
Say no.
Say it was all a misunderstanding.
But then she remembered what Mirel had said.
Don't make Talitha look stupid.
Raveena stared at the table.
For a long time.
“I shouldn't.”
Talitha smiled bitterly.
“That isn't an answer.”
Raveena drew a breath.
“Yes.”
One word.
Very small.
But once it was spoken, it felt like something shattered between them.
Talitha stared at her without moving.
Raveena felt heat rise in her face.
“I like him.”
Talitha looked away.
Raveena hurried on.
“But I never—”
“I know.”
“No, you don't.”
Raveena's voice rose slightly.
She immediately lowered it.
“I never asked him to leave you. I never told him how I felt. I was the one who asked us to keep our distance.”
Talitha was silent.
Raveena continued, “I know that still doesn't make any of this right.”
“Does he like you too?”
The question made Raveena freeze.
Talitha watched her.
“Has he ever said so?”
Raveena didn't answer.
Talitha seemed to get her answer from the silence.
She laughed softly.
Not because it was funny.
Her hand rose to cover part of her mouth.
“Wow.”
Raveena felt sick.
“Talitha…”
“I don't even know why that part still hurts.”
She drew a breath.
“Even though I already knew.”
“You knew?”
“Not exactly.”
Talitha looked at the table.
“But I could feel it.”
They sat in silence.
The sound of a spoon from another table came through clearly.
Raveena felt like the room was too bright.
Too exposed.
Finally, Talitha said, “Has he ever kissed you?”
Raveena shook her head immediately.
“No.”
“Held your hand?”
“No.”
“Ever told you he loved you?”
“No.”
Talitha looked at her for a long time.
“Sometimes that's what makes it harder.”
Raveena frowned.
Talitha smiled faintly.
“If there were one clear incident, I could be angry at one thing. But when the problem is just closeness, attention, comfort… you can't see it.”
She looked at her drink.
“You can't see it until suddenly you feel like your own partner would rather talk to someone else than to you.”
Raveena felt her throat tighten.
“I'm sorry.”
Talitha looked at her.
“For what?”
Raveena fell silent.
“For liking him?”
Talitha shook her head slowly.
“You can't apologize for your feelings.”
The words were exactly what Mirel had said.
But coming from Talitha, they meant something different.
“What I want to know,” Talitha continued, “is what you did after you realized.”
Raveena swallowed.
“I tried to back off.”
“Tried?”
Raveena smiled bitterly.
“It didn't always work.”
Talitha closed her eyes for a moment.
When she opened them again, she looked more tired.
“At least you were honest.”
Raveena didn't feel she deserved that.
“Why didn't you ask Gavian directly?”
“I did.”
“And?”
“He said there was no one else.”
Raveena froze.
Talitha laughed flatly.
“Technically, maybe he was right.”
Raveena couldn't defend Gavian.
She didn't want to.
“He said we were just having problems and he needed space.”
Talitha looked at Raveena.
“Funny, isn't it? Turns out that space had a name.”
Raveena felt the words strike her squarely in the chest.
“Talitha…”
“I'm not blaming everything on you.”
The woman's tone remained calm.
“But I also don't want to pretend your presence had no effect.”
Raveena nodded slowly.
“That's fair.”
Talitha studied her for a moment.
“Do you love him?”
Raveena wasn't ready for that word.
Liking someone could still be temporary.
Attraction.
Comfort.
But love felt too far-reaching.
Too serious.
She slowly shook her head.
“I don't know.”
Talitha nodded.
“I hope you really don't know.”
They left the restaurant just before eight.
There had been no argument.
No raised voices.
No one had cried in public.
Talitha paid for her own drink.
Raveena paid for hers.
When she stood, Talitha put her phone into her bag.
“Thank you for coming.”
Raveena felt like she should have been the one saying that.
“I'm sorry if…”
Talitha looked at her.
Raveena stopped.
No apology felt like enough.
Talitha seemed to understand.
“Raveena.”
“Hm?”
“I don't hate you.”
Raveena looked at her.
“Not yet, maybe.”
There was a small, deeply sad smile on Talitha's face.
“But I also can't say I'm okay.”
“I understand.”
“Good.”
Talitha picked up her work bag.
“One more thing.”
Raveena waited.
“If Gavi comes to you after this, don't let him use our argument as an excuse.”
Raveena understood immediately.
Talitha looked straight at her.
“If he wants to end things with me, he has to end them because our relationship is over. Not because of you.”
Raveena nodded.
“Yeah.”
Talitha left.
Raveena remained standing beside the table.
A few seconds later, she sat down again.
Her hands were trembling slightly.
She opened her phone.
There were three messages from Gavian.
Are you home?
Rave?
The last message:
Talitha just told me she met you.
Raveena closed her eyes.
So Talitha had told him right away.
Her phone vibrated.
Gavian was calling.
Raveena stared at his name.
The first ring stopped.
The second call came in.
She didn't answer.
A message appeared.
Please answer.
Raveena felt an enormous wave of exhaustion come over her.
She typed:
Don't contact me for now. Talk to Talitha.
Gavian replied immediately.
What did she say to you?
Raveena stared at the message, anger rising so quickly it startled her.
She typed:
That's what you're thinking about right now?
Three dots.
That's not what I meant.
Raveena:
You told her there was no one else.
Gavian's reply stopped.
One minute.
Two.
Then:
Because there isn't anything between us.
Raveena read the sentence.
Strange.
It should have been true.
Yet it felt like an insult to everything they were going through.
She typed quickly.
Maybe there isn't a relationship. But there are feelings. You know that.
There was no reply.
Raveena continued:
And you let her feel crazy for suspecting something that actually existed.
Gavian:
I never called her crazy.
You know what I mean.
A long pause.
Then:
I was afraid being completely honest would make everything worse.
Raveena laughed soundlessly.
She wrote:
Turns out lying makes things worse too.
This time, Gavian didn't answer.
Raveena put her phone in her bag.
She stood.
And left Sela.
The night air in Jantara was humid.
The streets were busy.
People passed by, unaware that three lives were slowly changing direction.
Raveena walked toward the bus stop.
Her phone vibrated again inside her bag.
She didn't look.
Gavian came to Karetiga the next day.
Raveena had just finished lunch when she saw him standing beneath The Typing Room sign.
He was wearing a dark blue shirt.
He looked tired.
Raveena stopped on the sidewalk.
Gavian walked straight toward her.
“Can we talk?”
Raveena glanced around.
“Now?”
“Yeah.”
“I have to work.”
“Five minutes.”
Raveena sighed.
She should have refused.
But too many things were still hanging between them.
They walked to a quieter side street.
Not Three Chairs.
Raveena deliberately didn't head there.
Gavian stood facing her.
“Talitha told me what you two talked about.”
“Good.”
“Rave.”
“What?”
Gavian looked like he was searching for the right words.
“I was wrong.”
Raveena said nothing.
“I should have been honest with her.”
“Yeah.”
“I just…”
“Were scared?”
Gavian nodded.
Raveena looked at him.
“Scared of losing her?”
The question made Gavian fall silent.
“I don't know.”
Raveena gave a hollow laugh.
“Gavi, do you realize how selfish that is?”
Gavian's face tightened.
“I know.”
“No. If you really knew, you wouldn't have let things go on like this for months.”
“I never planned for this to happen.”
“Neither did I.”
“Then why does it seem like I'm the only one who's wrong?”
Raveena froze.
Gavian immediately regretted it.
She could see it on his face.
But the words were already out.
Raveena stared at him for a long moment.
“Because you're the one who has a partner.”
Silence.
Gavian lowered his gaze.
Raveena continued more quietly.
“Talitha was right about something.”
Gavian looked at her.
“If your relationship ends, don't let it end because of me.”
“Rave…”
“Listen first.”
Raveena looked straight at him.
“If you're truly unhappy, face that. If you still want to try with her, then try. But don't stand in the middle with me still waiting on the other side.”
Gavian's expression changed.
“I don't have you.”
Raveena gave him a small smile.
“Good.”
The answer left Gavian silent.
Raveena continued.
“Then don't act as if losing me is something you have to take into consideration.”
“What if that's how I feel?”
The question made Raveena freeze.
Gavian looked at her.
This time, he didn't look away.
“I'm afraid of losing you.”
Raveena felt her heart slam against her ribs.
That was the sentence she might have wanted to hear a few weeks ago.
Now it felt wrong.
So wrong.
“Don't.”
“Why not?”
“Because you don't have the right to say that yet.”
Gavian clenched his jaw.
“I'm just being honest.”
Being honest late wasn't always a good thing.
Gavian fell silent.
Raveena drew a breath.
“Go home.”
“Rave.”
“Talk everything through with Talitha.”
“I will.”
“Not later.”
Raveena gave him a hard look.
“Today.”
Gavian didn't text that afternoon.
Not that night, either.
Raveena returned to her apartment and immediately set her phone far away from the sofa.
She opened her book.
She read.
She managed to finish fourteen pages.
Then stopped at a sentence she didn't even understand.
Her thoughts still went back to Gavian.
To Talitha.
To their conversation that afternoon.
I'm afraid of losing you.
Raveena closed the book.
She wished feelings could be turned off like a light.
A switch.
Darkness.
Done.
But life didn't work that way.
At eleven thirty-seven, her phone vibrated.
One message.
Gavian.
Raveena stared at the notification without opening it.
Five minutes passed.
Finally, she gave in.
I talked to Talitha.
Raveena held her breath.
A second message came in.
We broke up.
Her heart seemed to stop.
She read the last two words again.
We broke up.
There was no relief.
No happiness.
What came instead was fear.
Because now, every reason she'd used to keep her distance suddenly changed shape.
A third message arrived.
Not because of you.
Raveena stared at the screen.
Then a fourth message:
But I don't want to lie anymore, either.
And before Raveena could decide whether she should answer, one final message appeared.
I love you.
Raveena stopped breathing.
For a few seconds, her apartment felt completely silent.
She stared at the four words until her eyes began to sting.
This was what they'd been avoiding all along.
Not comfort anymore.
Not habit.
Not a closeness that could be called friendship.
The feeling had finally stood before them in its clearest form.
And strangely, now that Gavian was finally free to say everything, Raveena didn't feel as though they were any closer to a happy ending.
She felt as though they'd just reached the most dangerous part.
Because love in the wrong place didn't automatically become right just because its old place was empty.