Raveena didn't reply to Gavian's message that night.
Not because she didn't know what to say.
It was because too many answers came to her at once.
Me too.
That was the most honest one.
Don't say that now.
That was the most reasonable one.
Why only now?
That was the most painful one.
And there was one other answer that kept bothering her:
What about Talitha?
Raveena set her phone on the table.
Walked to the kitchen.
Got some water.
Returned to the couch.
Her phone screen was still lit.
The last message was still there.
I love you.
Four words.
Four words they had never said to each other in all those months.
And now they had come on the very night their six-year relationship had just ended.
Raveena pressed both palms to her face.
“Why did it have to be now?”
There was no answer.
Of course there wasn't.
She picked up her phone again.
Opened her conversation with Talitha.
There were no new messages.
Raveena didn't even know whether she had the right to ask how the other woman was doing.
Maybe she didn't.
She opened her conversation with Gavian again.
Typed:
You shouldn't have said that tonight.
Sent.
The reply came almost immediately.
I know.
Raveena stared at the screen.
But I don't want to lie anymore.
She typed:
Being honest doesn't mean everything has to be said right now.
Gavian didn't reply right away.
One minute.
Two.
Then:
I'm sorry.
Raveena bit the inside of her lip.
She should have stopped.
But her fingers moved again.
What about Talitha?
It took a long time.
Raveena almost thought Gavian wasn't going to answer.
Finally:
She's not okay.
Her chest felt heavy.
Another message followed.
I'm not okay either.
Raveena closed her eyes.
That was the problem.
She cared too easily.
Too easily wanted to ask whether Gavian was alone.
Whether he'd eaten.
Whether he was crying.
Whether he regretted his decision.
Questions that might turn her into the escape she'd forbidden him to use that very afternoon.
Raveena typed:
Don't come to me tonight.
The reply came quickly.
I won't.
Then:
I just want you to know.
Raveena stared at the sentence.
She understood something.
Gavian might not be coming to her physically.
But by sending that confession, he was still placing the burden in Raveena's hands.
Now she knew.
And once she knew, she had to do something with that knowledge.
She locked the screen.
There were no more messages that night.
But Raveena still couldn't sleep.
Morning came too soon.
It was a little after six when Raveena gave up trying to sleep and got out of bed.
Her head felt heavy.
Her eyes were burning.
She walked to the bathroom like someone who wasn't fully awake yet.
When she looked in the mirror, she stared at her own face.
She didn't look like a woman who had just received a love confession from the person she'd wanted all this time.
There should have been happiness.
At least a little.
But all she could see was exhaustion.
There were no new messages from Gavian on her phone.
There was one from Mirel.
You're coming in today, right?
Raveena replied:
Yeah.
A few seconds later:
Why does that sound like someone who just committed a crime?
Raveena almost smiled.
She typed:
I'll tell you later.
Mirel replied:
I'm scared.
For the first time that morning, Raveena really smiled.
It was faint.
But enough.
“You two broke up?”
Mirel's voice was way too loud.
Raveena immediately kicked her under the table.
“Ow!”
“Keep it down.”
“Sorry.”
Mirel leaned closer.
They were sitting in the corner of the break room with two untouched cups of coffee.
Raveena had just finished telling her everything.
Not every detail.
But enough.
Talitha and Gavian had talked.
Their relationship was over.
Then Gavian had sent the message.
Mirel stared at her like she'd just gotten the ending to an episode she hated.
“And then he immediately told you he loved you?”
“Yeah.”
“That same night?”
“Yeah.”
Mirel covered her face with both hands.
“Why do men like stacking major decisions on top of each other?”
“Don't ask me.”
“So what did you say?”
“I told him he shouldn't have said it that night.”
Mirel lowered her hands.
“Good.”
Raveena looked at her coffee.
“Good?”
“Yeah.”
“You don't want to say that now you two can finally be together?”
Mirel looked almost offended.
“Raveena.”
“What?”
“I like drama. I'm not a monster.”
Raveena laughed softly.
Mirel grew serious again.
“If you two started dating right now, it would be a mess.”
“I know.”
“Not just because of Talitha.”
Raveena looked at her.
“Gavian just got out of a six-year relationship.”
“Yeah.”
“Six years is a long time.”
Mirel leaned back.
“He might not even know who he is when he's not Talitha's boyfriend.”
Raveena fell silent.
She had never thought of that.
“And you,” Mirel continued, “have been his safe place for months.”
“Don't say it like that.”
“Why?”
“Because it sounds bad.”
“That doesn't mean it's wrong.”
Raveena looked away.
Mirel continued carefully.
“I believe he really does like you. Maybe he even truly loves you. But those feelings could be mixed up with relief, the urge to escape, grief, or the need to have someone after a breakup.”
Raveena nodded slowly.
“That’s what I'm afraid of.”
Mirel looked at her.
“What about you?”
“What?”
“Do you love him?”
Raveena was quiet for a long time.
Once, she could still say she didn't know.
Now that felt dishonest.
“I think I do.”
Mirel didn't overreact.
She didn't smile.
She didn't tease her.
She only gave a small nod.
“Then it's even more important not to rush.”
Raveena swallowed.
“What if he changes his mind once everything settles down?”
Mirel raised an eyebrow.
“Scared?”
Raveena smiled bitterly.
“A little.”
Mirel looked at her for a long moment.
“If his feelings only last while he's grieving Talitha, it's better for you to find out before you get in any deeper.”
It was true.
It still hurt.
Gavian didn't come to Raveena's office that day.
He didn't send a message until afternoon, either.
Raveena opened their conversation several times.
There was nothing there.
At five thirty, an email came in from the Karsa & Rekan team.
It was from Deyra.
Not Gavian.
Subject: Senvora Living Group Scope Revision
Raveena read the email.
Professional.
Ordinary.
At the very end was one sentence:
For the time being, I'll be taking over coordination on our end from Gavian for the next few days.
Raveena stopped.
She read it again.
A few days.
There was no explanation.
Maybe Gavian had taken time off.
Maybe he really needed time.
For some reason, her chest felt tight.
She closed the email.
Mirel, passing behind her desk, stopped.
“What is it?”
“Gavian isn't handling the project for now.”
“Why?”
“I don't know.”
“Did he take time off?”
“Maybe.”
Mirel nodded.
“Good.”
Raveena looked at her.
“Why is everything good according to you?”
“Because he needs space.”
Raveena looked back at the screen.
She knew that.
But knowing didn't make someone's absence feel any lighter.
Gavian finally contacted her at eight that night.
Raveena was cooking noodles when her phone vibrated on the kitchen table.
I took time off through Monday.
She turned off the stove.
Replied:
Okay.
Gavian:
I went home to my parents.
Raveena read it.
She didn't know what to say.
Hope it helps.
A few seconds later:
Mom already knows.
Raveena stopped.
She understood immediately.
About Gavian and Talitha breaking up.
How did it go?
The reply took a while.
Not well.
Raveena sat down.
Gavian started typing again.
They all considered Talitha part of the family.
Then:
Mom said I threw away six years just because I'm confused.
Raveena stared at the screen.
Her hands wanted to type something defending Gavian.
She stopped.
No.
That relationship wasn't her business.
What did you say?
Not much.
Why?
I'm tired.
Raveena pressed her lips together.
She typed:
Get some rest.
The typing dots appeared.
Are you mad at me?
Raveena went still.
She wasn't angry.
At least not completely.
No.
Gavian:
You're pulling away.
Raveena stared at the words.
Because we need some distance first.
There was no reply for several minutes.
Then:
How long?
Raveena closed her eyes.
The question sounded so simple.
But there was no definite answer.
She typed:
I don't know.
A week? A month?
Gavi.
I just want to understand.
Raveena drew a long breath.
Then wrote:
Until you can wake up in the morning without every decision you make having to be about me or Talitha.
The reply took a long time.
Very long.
Finally, Gavian replied.
Harsh.
Raveena:
But wrong?
There was no answer.
Then:
No.
Raveena set down her phone.
A few seconds later, another message came in.
What if I still love you after that?
Her heart beat harder.
Raveena read it once.
Twice.
Then typed:
Then we'll talk.
She almost hit send.
Stopped.
Added:
But I need time too.
Sent.
Gavian didn't reply for a minute.
Then:
Okay.
Strange.
The same word as a few days ago.
Back then, it had hurt.
Now it was oddly a little reassuring.
Talitha didn't come to work the next day.
Raveena didn't know from Gavian.
She knew because Talitha herself sent a message.
I'm not stopping by your bookstore today after all. Maybe another time.
Raveena stared at the notification for a long time.
She didn't know whether it was just an update or Talitha's way of showing that she still remembered their old plans.
Raveena replied:
It's okay. Take care.
She immediately regretted those last two words.
Too familiar?
Trying too hard to care?
But the message had already been sent.
Talitha replied a few minutes later.
Thanks. You too.
That was it.
Raveena set down her phone.
Mirel watched from the desk across from her.
“Talitha?”
Raveena nodded.
“What?”
“She just said she wasn't coming to the store.”
Mirel was quiet.
Then she said, “I feel bad for her.”
Raveena looked at the desk.
“Me too.”
“And you feel guilty.”
“Yeah.”
“Don't let guilt make you do something that's really just a way to punish yourself.”
Raveena frowned.
“What do you mean?”
“For example, deciding you can never be happy with Gavian just because Talitha got hurt.”
Raveena was silent.
Mirel shrugged.
“If you two really end up together someday, that's a problem for later. But don't feel like the only way to respect Talitha is to suffer forever.”
Raveena didn't answer.
She had never thought that far ahead.
She didn't want to now, either.
Three days passed without any long communication between Raveena and Gavian.
They exchanged only two or three messages.
No late-night conversations.
No phone calls.
No meetings.
Raveena started reading the book Gavian had given her and made it to page one hundred twelve.
Strangely, after a few days, she began to genuinely enjoy the story.
Not every page reminded her who had given it to her anymore.
At least, not always.
On Sunday afternoon, Raveena went to her mother's house again.
This time because Savia insisted.
“If I keep being alone, Mom's going to talk to me about Dad for three hours,” she said over the phone.
Raveena came.
The three of them sat in the living room.
Not much had changed.
Until Marleni said, “Your father wants to meet on Wednesday.”
Raveena stopped peeling an orange.
“Where?”
“He said wherever you two want.”
Savia looked at her sister.
Raveena sighed.
“I haven't said I want to.”
Marleni nodded.
“No one's forcing you.”
Raveena almost laughed.
Her mother always said that in a tone that still felt like pressure.
“I'll go if Rave goes,” Savia said.
“Don't base your decision on me.”
“I'm not.”
“You just said you'd go if I did.”
“Because I'm scared to go alone.”
Savia's words made Raveena stop.
She looked at her sister.
Savia rarely admitted she was afraid.
Raveena lowered the orange.
“Okay.”
“So you're going?”
“If you want to see him, I'll go with you.”
Relief flickered in Savia's eyes.
Marleni said nothing.
Raveena realized something.
Maybe not every decision had to be based on what she herself wanted.
Sometimes a person chose to show up simply because someone else needed them.
The difference was that she hoped she could tell the difference between being there and sacrificing herself.
That line had always been too blurry in her family.
Maybe in Gavian's relationship, too.
Monday morning, Gavian returned to work.
Raveena knew because a new email came in.
From: Gavian Lesmana
About the project.
Formal.
There wasn't a single personal sentence.
Raveena replied just as formally.
An hour later, there was a video meeting.
Gavian appeared on-screen with Deyra and two people from Senvora.
Raveena sat with Mirel and Reyhan.
The meeting lasted forty minutes.
Nothing was strange.
Gavian never looked at the camera for too long when Raveena spoke.
Neither did Raveena.
After the meeting ended, Mirel closed her laptop.
“You two are like people who just had a fight in the family group chat.”
Raveena looked at her.
“It's called being professional.”
“Creepy.”
“Good.”
Mirel smiled.
“See? Now you're saying good, too.”
That afternoon, Raveena went out to get lunch alone.
When she passed Three Chairs, she stopped.
There was no reason to avoid the place forever.
She went in.
Luni smiled at her right away.
“Rave.”
“The usual.”
“By yourself?”
Raveena looked at her.
Luni immediately raised both hands.
“Sorry.”
Raveena almost laughed.
She sat at table five.
The same table.
The chair across from her was empty.
Strangely, it didn't hurt as much this time.
She opened her book.
Read while she waited for her food.
The doorbell rang.
Raveena didn't look up.
Footsteps approached.
Then stopped.
“Can I sit?”
Raveena's body tensed.
She recognized that voice.
Gavian.
Raveena slowly raised her head.
He stood in front of the table.
His face looked a little thinner.
Or maybe he was just tired.
Raveena closed her book.
“What are you doing here?”
“I had a meeting nearby.”
“Coincidence?”
Gavian smiled faintly.
“This time, it really is.”
Raveena looked at the chair.
Then at Gavian.
“Five minutes.”
Gavian nodded.
“That’s enough.”
He sat down.
For a while, neither of them spoke.
Luni came over.
Looked at Gavian.
Looked at Raveena.
Then said without asking, “Black coffee, light ice?”
Gavian almost smiled.
“Yeah.”
Luni left.
Raveena looked at the table.
“How are you?”
The question finally came out.
Gavian sighed.
“Still alive.”
“Bad answer.”
“I'm learning from you.”
Raveena almost smiled.
Almost.
“Talitha?”
Gavian fell silent.
Then said, “We haven't spoken since Friday.”
Raveena nodded.
“Your parents?”
“Still angry.”
“Yeah.”
Gavian looked at her.
“Yeah?”
“It's understandable.”
“I know.”
Silence again.
Raveena touched the edge of her book.
Gavian looked at the cover.
“You're reading it.”
“Yeah.”
“Is it good?”
“It's okay.”
“Only okay?”
“Don't fish for compliments just because you bought it.”
For the first time in several days, Gavian chuckled.
The sound made something in Raveena's chest move.
She immediately hated her own body for reacting.
Gavian grew serious again.
“I thought during my time off.”
Raveena looked at him.
“About what?”
“A lot of things.”
He clasped his hands together.
“About Talitha. About our relationship. About you.”
Raveena tensed immediately.
“Gavi—”
“I'm not here to ask for an answer.”
Raveena was silent.
“I just want to say one thing.”
She waited.
Gavian drew a breath.
“I don't regret breaking up with Talitha.”
Raveena looked at him.
“But I regret the way I got there.”
The words left her silent.
Gavian continued.
“I made her wait too long. I said everything was fine when it wasn't. Then when I started getting close to you, I used that to avoid facing the problem even more.”
Raveena didn't interrupt.
“I thought that because we'd never done anything physical, it meant I wasn't cheating.”
Gavian lowered his gaze.
“Turns out I was just looking for a definition that would make me feel better.”
Raveena swallowed.
It might have been the first time Gavian had truly named what happened without trying to minimize it.
“I had a part in it too,” Raveena said.
Gavian raised his head.
“I knew you had a partner, but I still let everything happen.”
“It's different.”
“We've talked about that.”
“Yeah.”
Gavian nodded.
“You're right.”
Silence.
Luni came over with the coffee.
This time, she seemed to sense the mood and left without a comment.
Gavian touched the cup.
“I'm not going to ask us to become anything right away.”
Raveena said nothing.
“I also won't keep telling you I love you.”
Raveena's eyebrows rose slightly.
Gavian smiled faintly.
“Even though I still do.”
Raveena's heart reacted immediately.
She shot him a sharp look.
“You said you weren't going to say it.”
“That was the last time.”
“Gavian.”
“Okay.”
He raised both hands for a moment.
Raveena held back a smile.
She almost failed.
Then Gavian said, more seriously, “I want to learn how to exist in my own life first.”
The sentence made Raveena look at him for a long moment.
“Good.”
Gavian let out a small laugh.
“You like that word now?”
“It's okay.”
They fell silent again.
But this time, the silence was different.
It wasn't full of sentences straining to get out anymore.
It was calmer.
Gavian checked the time.
“Five minutes are up.”
“They are.”
He stood.
Raveena thought the conversation was over.
But Gavian stopped before turning away.
“Rave.”
“Hmm?”
“If someday I come back again…”
Raveena looked straight at him.
Gavian paused.
“…I want to come back not because I've lost anyone.”
Raveena's chest tightened.
Not from sadness.
Not from happiness, either.
Something in between.
She gave a small nod.
“That would be better.”
Gavian smiled.
Then he left.
He didn't touch Raveena.
He didn't ask for anything.
He didn't say goodbye.
The doorbell rang as he walked out.
Raveena watched him through the window as he walked away.
This time, she didn't feel the urge to chase after him.
She didn't want to text him, either.
She simply sat there.
Opened her book again.
And for the first time since meeting Gavian, Raveena understood that giving someone space didn't mean waiting for them to come back.
Space also meant giving herself the chance to find out whether what had felt like love all this time was really love—
or just the need not to feel alone.
Two nights later, Raveena stood in front of a small restaurant with Savia.
Inside, a man nearly sixty years old was already seated by the window.
His hair was much whiter than Raveena remembered.
His body was thinner.
His hands rested on the table.
Waiting.
Savia gripped her sister's arm.
“Is that Dad?”
Raveena didn't answer right away.
The face had changed.
But not enough to be unfamiliar.
“Yeah.”
Savia drew a breath.
“I'm scared.”
Raveena looked at her sister.
Then back at the man inside.
Strangely, she was scared too.
Not of her father.
She was afraid of what might return after all these years of deliberately burying it.
“If you want to go home,” Raveena said, “we can go.”
Savia shook her head.
“What about you?”
Raveena was silent for a moment.
Then she opened the door.
A small bell rang.
The man by the window turned.
His face changed immediately when he saw them.
He stood too quickly, nearly knocking over his chair.
“Raveena.”
That voice.
Raveena had almost forgotten it.
Her father looked at Savia.
“Savia.”
Savia gripped her sister's hand tighter.
No one moved.
There were no hugs.
No dramatic tears.
Only three people standing a few steps apart, with years of pain filling the space between them.
Then their father said softly,
“Thank you for coming.”
Raveena looked at the man who had once left her family.
And for the first time, she realized that maybe the story of love in the wrong place didn't begin only when someone loved another person's partner.
Sometimes love was in the wrong place when someone kept giving it to a person who repeatedly chose to leave.
Raveena pulled out a chair.
Sat down.
Savia sat beside her.
Their father returned to his chair.
None of them knew how to begin.
Until finally Raveena said,
“We have a lot to talk about.”
And that night, for the first time, she hadn't come to forgive.
She had come to listen.
Because maybe before deciding who deserved a place in her heart, Raveena first had to understand why she had always been so afraid that place would be abandoned.