Raveena’s father looked older than he should have.
Not just because his hair had turned gray or his body had grown thinner.
There was something in the way he sat.
Yudara Pramesti used to look like someone who owned the room. His voice was always the loudest at dinner. His opinion always came first. Even when he wasn’t angry, everyone still knew he didn’t want to be contradicted.
Now both his hands rested on the table.
Still.
As if he didn’t know where to put them.
Raveena hated the fact that the change made her chest tighten a little.
It would have been easier to deal with a father who was still the same.
Someone like that could be hated without too many questions.
But the man sitting across from her looked like someone who had been through a lot during all the years they hadn’t seen each other.
And Raveena didn’t know whether she wanted to know what all of it was.
A server came over with three glasses of water.
None of them had ordered food.
After the server left, the silence returned.
Savia sat beside Raveena with her hands clasped in her lap.
Yudara looked from one daughter to the other.
“I don’t know where to start.”
Raveena replied flatly, “With why you left.”
Savia glanced at her sister.
Yudara didn’t look surprised.
Maybe he’d expected that.
He nodded slowly.
“Yeah.”
Raveena waited.
She had no intention of helping him.
If the man had asked to meet after all these years, he should have prepared what he wanted to say.
Yudara drew a breath.
“Your mother and I had been in a bad place for a long time.”
Raveena immediately clenched her jaw.
“Don’t start by blaming Mom.”
“I’m not blaming her.”
“That’s what it sounds like.”
“Rave,” Savia whispered.
Raveena didn’t look at her.
Yudara simply nodded.
“You have every right to be angry.”
“I don’t need your permission.”
The man fell silent.
Good.
Raveena knew she sounded harsh.
She didn’t care.
Or at least, she was trying not to.
Yudara took a small sip of water before continuing.
“Your mother and I fought a lot back then. About money. About work. About a lot of things.”
“And then?”
“I got a job opportunity out of town.”
Raveena gave a small laugh.
“A job opportunity.”
“It was just a job at first.”
“At first?”
That one word made Savia lift her head.
Yudara closed his eyes for a moment.
Then he said, “I met someone there.”
Raveena’s chest tightened instantly.
She’d already known.
Not the details.
Her mother had never wanted to tell her much.
But a high schooler wasn’t stupid enough not to understand why her father had suddenly left and never come home.
Savia had never really known.
Raveena could see it on her sister’s face now.
“Who?” Savia asked.
Yudara looked at her.
“Her name was Hena.”
Savia went quiet.
Raveena held her breath.
“Then you lived with her?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Did you get married?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Yudara looked down at the table.
“That relationship ended too.”
Raveena smiled faintly, without humor.
“Wow. Sounds easy.”
Yudara looked up.
“What does?”
“Leaving one relationship, moving on to another, and then when it ends, it ends.”
“Raveena.”
“What? Am I wrong?”
Yudara didn’t answer.
Raveena felt her palms beginning to turn cold.
She hated this.
She hated how the conversation about her father suddenly sounded too close to something else she was going through.
Too similar.
Gavian had left Talitha.
Not because of Raveena, he’d said.
But Raveena had been there.
Waiting at the edge of the story.
Like someone might have once waited for Yudara when he was still Marleni’s husband.
The thought made her stomach churn.
“Why didn’t you ever come home?” Savia asked.
Her sister’s voice was much smaller now.
Yudara looked at Savia.
That was a different question.
Not about the relationship.
About them.
“I was ashamed.”
Raveena let out a short laugh.
“Ashamed?”
“Yes.”
“So because you were ashamed, you thought the best solution was not seeing your own children for years?”
“I know it was cowardly.”
“Good. At least you know.”
Savia grabbed Raveena’s arm.
A little tighter this time.
Raveena realized her breathing had grown uneven.
She looked down.
She didn’t want to explode.
Not in front of Savia.
Yudara said quietly, “Every year, I wanted to reach out.”
“But you didn’t.”
“No.”
“Every birthday?”
Yudara fell silent.
Raveena stared at him.
“Every birthday, you wanted to reach out?”
“Yes.”
“But you still didn’t?”
“Yes.”
Raveena nodded.
Strange.
That honest answer hurt more.
Because it meant her father remembered.
He had simply chosen not to come anyway.
Savia began rubbing at her eyes.
Yudara immediately shifted in his seat.
“Savia—”
“Don’t.”
Raveena raised a hand.
Yudara stopped.
Savia took a tissue.
“I’m okay.”
No one at the table believed her.
They finally ordered food because Savia said she got a headache if she didn’t eat.
No one was really hungry.
When the food came, most of it was barely touched.
The conversation moved slowly.
Yudara told them about his life over the past few years.
He’d changed jobs.
His relationship with Hena had ended almost four years ago.
He lived alone.
Last month, he’d fainted at work.
The doctor had found a problem with his heart.
It wasn’t immediately life-threatening yet, he said.
But it was enough to make him stop assuming he would always have more time.
“So you contacted us because you’re sick?” Raveena asked.
Yudara nodded slowly.
“Partly.”
“If you weren’t sick?”
The question made the table fall silent again.
Savia looked at her sister as if she wanted to stop her.
But Raveena had to know.
Yudara looked at her.
“I don’t know.”
Honest again.
Painful again.
Raveena gave a small nod.
“At least it’s not some polished answer you made up.”
“I don’t want to lie anymore.”
The sentence made Raveena freeze.
Same.
Everyone suddenly didn’t want to lie anymore after the damage had been done.
Gavian had said something similar.
I don’t want to lie anymore either.
Raveena set down her spoon.
“Why do people always think honesty after everything falls apart is enough?”
Yudara looked at her.
“I don’t think it’s enough.”
“Then what’s the point?”
“Because it’s the only thing I have left to give you.”
Raveena looked away.
The answer was too kind.
She didn’t want a kind answer.
She wanted something she could hate.
Savia asked quietly, “Do you have another family?”
“No.”
“Any children?”
“No.”
Savia nodded.
Then she asked, “Did you ever miss us?”
Yudara didn’t answer right away.
His eyes began to redden.
“Every day.”
Savia lowered her head.
Raveena closed her eyes.
She was almost angry again.
If he missed them, why didn’t he come back?
But she’d already asked another version of that question.
The answer was still the same.
Ashamed.
Afraid.
A coward.
It turned out a person could love someone and still leave them.
That was the truth Raveena had wanted most to reject since childhood.
She had always believed that someone who truly loved you would stay.
Had to stay.
If they left, it meant they didn’t love you enough.
Simple.
Easier.
But now her father was sitting across from her, saying he missed them every day.
Raveena didn’t know whether to believe him.
Worse, part of her did.
And if it was true, her world became much more complicated.
Because maybe love really wasn’t always enough to make someone do the right thing.
The meeting ended a little after nine.
Yudara didn’t ask for a hug.
He didn’t ask to be forgiven.
He only stood outside the restaurant, looking at his two daughters.
“Can I contact you again?”
Savia immediately looked at Raveena.
Raveena hated that.
“I don’t want to be the one who decides for Savia.”
Savia swallowed.
Then she looked at her father.
“You can.”
Yudara looked close to tears.
He nodded.
“Thank you.”
Then he looked at Raveena.
He didn’t ask.
Good.
Raveena said, “I don’t know yet.”
“I understand.”
“Don’t say you understand if you really don’t.”
Yudara fell silent.
Raveena sighed.
“If I don’t respond, don’t come to my home or my office.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t use Savia to pass along messages.”
“Okay.”
“And don’t contact Mom and ask her to talk me into it.”
“Okay.”
Yudara nodded.
“Even if you want to be angry at me for the rest of your life—”
“Don’t.”
Raveena cut him off.
“I don’t need some martyr speech.”
Yudara stopped.
Raveena looked at him.
“If you really want to fix something, then do it. Don’t make us decide how.”
The man nodded slowly.
“Okay.”
Raveena pulled Savia toward the parking lot.
They walked about ten meters before Savia stopped.
“Rave.”
Raveena turned around.
Savia was already crying.
Not sobbing.
The tears were simply falling.
Raveena immediately hugged her.
Savia pressed her face into her sister’s shoulder.
“I miss him.”
The words split Raveena’s heart in two.
She rubbed her sister’s back.
“It’s okay.”
“I’m mad at him, but I miss him.”
“Yeah.”
“Is that wrong?”
Raveena pulled back slightly.
“No.”
Savia looked at her.
Raveena said quietly, “You can be angry at someone and still love them.”
The moment the words left her mouth, she fell silent herself.
Savia didn’t notice.
But Raveena knew.
She had just said something she’d spent so long refusing to admit.
Feelings weren’t always neat.
Love and anger could live in the same place.
Longing and disappointment could appear at the same time.
And someone didn’t automatically become foolish just because they still loved the person who had hurt them.
Raveena hugged Savia again.
For some reason, she wanted to cry too this time.
Gavian texted her that night.
Not about them.
How did it go with your dad?
Raveena stared at the screen for a long time.
She didn’t remember ever telling him about the meeting schedule.
Then she remembered.
A few days ago, she’d mentioned that her father wanted to meet on Wednesday.
Gavian remembered.
Of course he did.
Raveena sat on her bed.
She typed:
Weird.
His reply came.
Weird how?
Raveena didn’t answer right away.
Then:
I thought I’d hate him.
But?
I’m still angry. It’s just not as simple as I thought.
Gavian replied after a moment.
Maybe it doesn’t have to be simple.
Raveena exhaled.
She typed:
He left us because there was another woman.
The message sent.
Three dots appeared.
Disappeared.
Appeared again.
Oh.
Raveena almost let out a small laugh.
For once, Gavian had run out of answers.
She typed:
Yeah. Oh.
A long pause.
Then Gavian:
Did that make you think about me?
Raveena stopped.
Too accurate.
She didn’t want to lie.
Yeah.
There was no reply for almost two minutes.
Then:
That makes sense.
Raveena felt a little annoyed.
That’s it?
I don’t know whether I’m supposed to defend myself or not.
Don’t.
Okay.
Raveena stared at the word.
Then wrote:
My dad said he still loved us even though he left.
Gavian:
Do you believe him?
Good question.
Raveena thought about it.
I don’t know.
But?
But maybe I do.
A few seconds passed.
And that makes me even angrier.
Gavian didn’t answer right away.
Then:
Because if he didn’t love you, everything would be easier?
Raveena swallowed.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Gavian:
I understand that a little.
Raveena tensed immediately.
Don’t compare yourself to him.
The reply came quickly.
I’m not.
Then:
I just understand the part where having feelings doesn’t make what we do right.
Raveena read the sentence slowly.
There was no defense.
No excuse.
Gavian continued:
I loved Talitha for a long time. But I still hurt her.
Raveena fell silent.
The next message:
And I loved you while I was still with her. That doesn’t make the way I did it right either.
Raveena’s heart pounded.
Gavian had said he wouldn’t keep repeating those words.
But this time was different.
It wasn’t a confession.
It felt more like accepting something shameful and real.
Raveena typed:
Then what’s the point of love if it can still make people do terrible things?
Gavian didn’t reply for so long that Raveena thought the conversation was over.
Then:
Maybe love isn’t what tells you whether someone is good or not.
Then:
The choices they make show that more.
Raveena stared at the screen.
She didn’t know whether Gavian was right.
But that night, for the first time, she felt like their conversation wasn’t pulling her closer.
Quite the opposite.
It made her see Gavian more clearly.
Not as the man she missed.
Not as someone who made her feel chosen.
As a person.
Someone who had made mistakes.
Someone who might change.
Or might not.
And Raveena realized she had no obligation to wait and find out.
The next few days were strange because everything felt normal.
Raveena worked.
Had lunch with Mirel.
Edited the manuscript.
Occasionally exchanged emails with Gavian about the project.
There were no private meetings.
No messages until midnight.
Yudara sent one message on Friday.
Thank you for coming yesterday. No need to reply.
Raveena didn’t reply.
But she didn’t delete it either.
Savia began texting their father.
Raveena knew because her sister sent her a screenshot.
Dad asked if I still like peanut martabak. He remembered 😭
Raveena stared at the message for a long time.
She didn’t answer for several minutes.
Then:
If you enjoy talking to him, go ahead.
Savia:
You’re not mad?
Why would I be mad?
I was worried you’d think I was too quick to forgive him.
Raveena swallowed around the lump in her throat.
She wrote:
Your feelings aren’t a betrayal of me or Mom.
Savia replied:
Look at you, being wise for once.
Raveena:
Blocked.
Savia sent six laughing stickers.
Raveena smiled.
Maybe she really was starting to learn.
Saturday morning, Raveena went to a used bookstore by herself.
She wanted to look for another edition of the book she was reading.
The shop was on the other side of Jantara, in a narrow building with shelves that nearly reached the ceiling.
Raveena was crouching to check the bottom shelf when someone said behind her,
“Raveena?”
She stood up.
And froze.
Talitha.
The woman was holding two books.
Her hair was shorter.
Only a few centimeters, but enough to change her appearance.
They stared at each other for a few moments.
Raveena didn’t know who should speak first.
Talitha finally gave her a small smile.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
Awkward.
Very.
Raveena looked at the books in Talitha’s hands.
“Looking for a book for your mom?”
Talitha glanced at her books.
“Oh. Yeah. One of them.”
Raveena nodded.
Silence again.
Talitha said, “How have you been?”
“Good.”
“You?”
“Not bad.”
Safe answers.
They stood between the bookshelves like two strangers who happened to share a history that was far too personal.
Raveena was about to say something when Talitha asked first,
“Are you and Gavian together now?”
The question was direct.
But it didn’t sound accusatory.
Raveena shook her head.
“No.”
Talitha looked slightly surprised.
“Why not?”
Raveena gave a faint smile.
“Kind of weird hearing you ask that.”
Talitha let out a small laugh.
“A little.”
Raveena lowered her gaze.
“We don’t want to jump into something right away.”
“Me or you?”
“Both of us.”
Talitha nodded slowly.
Raveena didn’t know why, but she felt the need to add,
“I’m not waiting for him.”
Talitha looked at her.
“Good.”
That word.
Again.
Raveena almost smiled.
Talitha glanced at one of the shelves.
“I thought you two would start dating right away.”
“A lot of people probably thought that.”
“I did too.”
There was honesty in Talitha’s voice.
Then she said, “That was one of the things I was most afraid of back then.”
Raveena stayed quiet.
“If we broke up, and the next day you were suddenly in my place.”
Raveena swallowed.
“I didn’t want that.”
“I know that now.”
Talitha looked at her.
“Thanks.”
Raveena almost said it wasn’t necessary.
But maybe it was.
Not as thanks for something Raveena had done for Talitha.
More as an acknowledgment that their choices had consequences.
Raveena gave a small nod.
Talitha started to leave.
But then she stopped.
“Oh, right.”
“Hm?”
“Don’t spend too long feeling guilty on my behalf.”
Raveena fell silent.
Talitha smiled faintly.
“I’m still mad at you two. Sometimes.”
Raveena nodded.
“That’s fair.”
“But my life didn’t stop there.”
She lifted the books in her hand.
“I’m starting a new project next week.”
“Good.”
Talitha laughed.
“There’s that word again.”
Raveena finally smiled for real.
“Guess it’s contagious.”
Talitha nodded.
Then she went to the register.
Raveena remained where she was.
Strange.
She felt lighter.
Not because Talitha had forgiven her.
Talitha had never said that.
Maybe not yet.
Maybe she never would completely.
But for the first time, Raveena watched the woman walk away without imagining herself as someone who had destroyed Talitha’s life.
Talitha had a life.
And that life kept moving.
Just like hers.
Just like Gavian’s.
That afternoon, Raveena sat at Three Chairs.
Table five.
Iced milk coffee.
Her book open.
Her phone facedown.
The doorbell rang.
She didn’t look up.
“Am I allowed to sit here for five minutes now?”
Raveena smiled before she could stop herself.
She looked up.
Gavian stood there.
“Why do you always ask for five minutes?”
“Because if I ask for an hour, you’ll say no.”
“Correct.”
“So my strategy is good.”
Raveena closed her book.
“Sit.”
Gavian looked slightly surprised.
“Seriously?”
“Before I change my mind.”
He sat down immediately.
Luni looked over from the register and raised an eyebrow.
Raveena pretended not to notice.
Gavian smiled.
“How was your week?”
“Not bad.”
“Your dad?”
“Still the same.”
“Still angry?”
“Yeah.”
“Still miss him?”
Raveena frowned.
“Who says I miss him?”
“So you don’t yet.”
Raveena stared at him.
“You’re getting annoying again.”
“I heard that was a sign I was back to normal.”
“Who said that?”
“Me.”
Raveena almost laughed.
Then she remembered something.
“I ran into Talitha today.”
Gavian’s smile faded slightly.
“Oh.”
“At a bookstore.”
“How is she?”
“She looked good.”
Gavian nodded.
He didn’t ask anything else.
Raveena watched him.
“She said she’s starting a new project.”
Gavian smiled faintly.
“Good.”
Raveena immediately laughed.
Gavian furrowed his brow.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
She was still smiling.
And for some reason, that simple moment felt different from all their previous meetings.
There were no secrets.
No phones to turn facedown when someone’s name appeared.
No guilt over sitting together.
But there were no promises either.
They simply sat there.
Two people who had once been too close at the wrong time.
Now trying to learn new boundaries.
Gavian looked at her.
“I miss talking to you.”
Raveena didn’t tense up like she usually did.
She only nodded.
“I miss it too.”
Gavian fell silent.
Maybe he hadn’t expected an honest answer.
Raveena continued before he could take it the wrong way.
“But that doesn’t mean everything’s over.”
“I know.”
“I still don’t know what we’re going to become.”
“I know.”
“And I don’t want you sitting here every day anymore.”
Gavian smiled.
“Every other day?”
“Once a week.”
“Three days?”
“Gavi.”
“Okay.”
Raveena held back a smile.
Then Gavian said, “I can wait.”
Raveena immediately shook her head.
“Don’t.”
Gavian fell silent.
Raveena looked at him.
“Don’t turn your life into a waiting room until I’m ready.”
This time, Gavian was truly quiet.
“If we meet again at the same place someday, then we’ll see.”
Raveena touched the cover of her book.
“But live your life first.”
Gavian looked at her for a long moment.
Then nodded.
“Okay.”
Raveena smiled faintly.
Good.
Because finally, they weren’t making promises.
They weren’t forcing an ending.
They also weren’t deciding that their love had to win just because it had caused so much pain.
Maybe love wasn’t about who waited the longest.
Nor was it about who sacrificed the most.
Sometimes love was tested when two people stopped holding on to each other so tightly and saw whether they still chose the same direction when no one was forcing them to.
Outside the window, people passed along Karetiga Street.
Evening settled slowly.
The city kept moving.
Raveena looked at Gavian across the table.
For the first time, she didn’t wonder whether the man would stay.
She began asking something far more important.
If Gavian chose to return to her someday, would Raveena still want to choose Gavian too?
And this time, she didn’t need to find the answer today.